A walk to remember || Tk

「 Chapter 18 」

—Chapter eighteen—

A cold streak blew in during the last part of January that lasted nine days, followed by three straight days of drenching rain. Jungkook had no interest in leaving the house in such weather, though after Dohyun had gone he and I might stand on the porch for just a couple of minutes to breathe the fresh sea air. Whenever we did this, I found myself worrying about him.

While we read the Bible, people would knock at the door at least three times every day. People were always dropping by, some with food, others just to say hello.

Even Namjoon and Margaret came over, and though Jungkook wasn't allowed to let them in, he did so anyway, and we sat in the living room and talked a little, both of them unable to meet his gaze.

They were both nervous, and it took them a couple of minutes to finally get to the point.

Namjoon had come to apologize, he said, and he said that he couldn't imagine why all this had happened to Jungkook of all people.

He also had something for him, and he set an envelope on the table, his hand shaking. His voice was choked up as he spoke, the words ringing with the most heartfelt emotion I'd ever heard him express.

"You've got the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met," he said to Jungkook, his voice cracking, "and even though I took it for granted and wasn't always nice to you, I wanted to let you know how I feel. I've never been more sorry about anything in my life."

He paused and swiped at the corner of his eye. "You're the best person I'll probably ever know."

As he was fighting back his tears and sniffling, Margaret had already given in to hers and sat weeping on the couch, unable to speak.

When Namjoon had finished, Jungkook wiped tears from his cheeks, stood slowly, and smiled, opening his arms in what could only be called a gesture of forgiveness. Namjoon went to him willingly, finally beginning to cry openly as Jungkook gently caressed his hair, murmuring to him.

The two of them held each other for a long time as Namjoon sobbed until he was too exhausted to cry anymore.

Then it was Margaret's turn, and she and Jungkook did exactly the same thing.

When Namjoon and Margaret were ready to leave, they pulled on their jackets and looked at Jungkook one more time, as if to remember him forever. I had no doubt that they wanted to think of him as he looked right then. In my mind he was beautiful, and I know they felt the same way.

"Hang in there," Namjoon said on his way out the door. "I'll be praying for you, and so will everybody else." Then he looked toward me, reached out, and patted me on the shoulder. "You too," he said, his eyes red. As I watched them leave, I knew I'd never been prouder of either of them.

Later, when we opened the envelope, we learned what Namjoon had done. Without telling us, he'd collected over $400 dollars for the orphanage.

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I waited for the miracle.

It hadn't come.

In early February the pills Jungkook was taking were increased to help offset the heightened pain he was feeling. The higher dosages made him dizzy, and twice he fell when walking to the bathroom, one time hitting his head against the washbasin.

Afterward he insisted that the doctors cut back his medicine, and with reluctance they did. Though he was able to walk normally, the pain he was feeling intensified, and sometimes even raising his arm made him grimace.