Unanticipated. //STEDDIE (DISCONTINUED)

17

I was fucked up for the rest of the night.
I didn't know how to feel. I felt bad. I didn't know why I felt bad. My dad was awful. I don't love him. So why is the thought of him dying making me feel this way?
Eddie held me on the couch that same night. He didn't know why my mom called. I haven't tell him about my dad yet.
"Stevie?" He asked. I hummed in response.
"What you said on the phone..that actually happened to you?"
I shivered thinking about it. More tears escaped my eyes as the feeling I felt that day came back. I felt Eddie hold me tighter.
"Yeah...it did." I whispered. Eddie held the back of my head.
"I'm so sorry.. that's majorly fucked up." He said. I didn't say anything. I knew it was. My whole childhood was. No one knew about it. No one except Eddie.
"Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you ask for help?" Eddie asked. I could tell his tone was genuine but part of me hated that question. I sighed.
"I tried..I really did try. When I was a kid, I went to my teacher. I told them my dad was hurting me. She called child protection services and they were sent to my house. Mom and Dad lied out of their ass, and said I was just 'a kid with an overactive imagination, that said things he didn't mean.'" I started shaking thinking about that day.
"Dad made me apologize to the worker..he made me say I lied. And he beat me..harder than he ever has that day. He told me if I ever told someone again, he'd.." I trailed off. I didn't wanna finish that sentence. I felt Eddie shake.
The way Eddie held me helped me feel in touch with reality. He kept me grounded in times like these.
Eddie hugged me for what felt like hours. He didn't try to talk more. He probably thought it was upsetting me. I didn't mind either way, but talking gets hard sometimes. Even if it's Eddie. Eddie fell into my fucked up life a little over a month ago. He didn't ask to deal with this. He didn't ask to deal with me, and my family issues. He didn't ask but he still does, when he knows he doesn't have to. I can't comprehend why he would want to deal with me.
I listen to Eddie's heartbeat as I think. I mostly think about my life. I'm a fraud. At least I feel like one. I feel like a kid that peaked in highschool, that falls apart as soon as they graduate. The day I graduated was one of the worst days of my life. I couldn't leave every day for school. I couldn't escape my dad, even if it was only for a few hours. At school I was worshipped, but at home? There was nothing about me possible to worship.
Not that I enjoyed being popular, I didn't. But I preferred it over the latter.

It was the middle of the night. Around 4am.  I felt Eddie hold me as the T.V. filled the room with noise. I was listening to Eddie breathe and I felt his hand reach up and scratch my head. I looked up at him. He was awake.
"Hey honey. It's really late, you should be sleeping." He said.
"Actually, it's early, and I could say the same about you."
I saw Eddie smile and he pulled me back into his chest. He sighed.
"So.. why'd your mom call anyway? You said something about your dad?" He asked. I felt my muscles tense up. I exhaled a sigh.
"My dad is one foot in the grave and mom wants me to visit him today." I said nonchalantly.
"Oh.. holy shit." Eddie said.
"Yup. Holy shit." I respond quietly. Eddie continued to speak after a few minutes.
"What's uh..wrong with him?" Eddie asked.
"Cancer. I didn't ask what kind." I responded.
"How do you feel about it?" He asked. I shrugged.
"Truth is, I'm not sure. I'm not happy. But I'm not like, really upset about it."
"Yeah, I wouldn't be either. Ready to get some sleep?" He asked. I nodded, and he picked me up and carried me to bed.
He kissed me as he lowered me onto the mattress.

°°°

I woke up past noon to the phone ringing, with the sun burning in my eyes. I sit up and notice Eddie isn't in bed with me. I hear him answer the phone.
"Hello??" There was a small pause.
"No, this isn't Steve. I'm Eddie.....yep, Steve lives with me......he isn't awake right now, can I leave a message?" I stand up and open the bedroom door. Eddie looked at me.
"Oh, nevermind ma'am, he's up." He said.
"Mom?" I whispered. Eddie nodded.
"Wanna talk to her?" He asked. I nodded and took the phone from him.
"Morning mom..." I mumbled.
"Morning??? It's 2 in the afternoon!"
"Yeah, yeah. Sorry. Late night."
"Are you showing up today?" She asked.
I sighed.
"Does it have to be today?" I asked back.
"Steve..I'm not sure if he'll be alive tomorrow." She said sadly. I scoffed.
"Wow, that bad?" I asked.
"Mhmm. He really wants to see you. I know how you feel about it but please try? You're..uhh..friend, can come with if you want."
"My 'friend' huh? Is that what we're calling him?"
"Uhhh.."
"His name is Eddie, mom. And he's nice. You can meet him if we show up."
"If?"
I sighed.
"..when."
I heard her exhale a sigh of relief.
"Thank you so much Steve. See you later okay?"
"Yeah..bye mom."
"Bye sweetie."