wonderwall. [rudy pankow]

fifty five

irl

as the get together continued, everyone started to get a little tipsy. some a little more than others , some as in the one and only, colson baker. when colson gets drunk he gets touchy and he now currently was sitting as close as possible to cindy with an arm around her shoulder. this immediately threw rudy off, whether or not it was only friendly, they had literally just confessed that they still loved each other and he was feeling a little protective.

colson looked to cindy, "hey how come your hair looks the same?" he asked.

she scrunched her eye brows together, "huh? what do you mean?

"when you left my house the other morning without saying good bye, you told me you had a hair appointment," he said this part a little too loud.

this caused rudy to look away from his conversation with drew and listen in on what cindy and colson were talking about.

"oh yeah i uh-" cindy looked around nervously cause she knew people were beginning to eavesdrop, "i decided i didn't want anything done, i like my hair too much."

"oh," he laughed, "I was honestly so relived when you texted me that because i was beginning to think i performed shitty. I've never had a girl leave like that."

after hearing that, cindy stood up , pulling colson up with her, "alright i think you've had a little too much to drink, big guy." she dragged him behind her, bringing him to the guest room to sleep.

"oh come on i just started having fun," he complained as he was tripping on the way out of the living room.

she literally threw him onto the bed and watched as he fell asleep almost immediately. she groaned on her way out of the room. when she returned to where everyone was, she noticed one person missing. rudy was no longer in the spot where he was before.

she looked around the room before asking, "hey, where'd rudy go?"

"uh he said he needed some air," madelyn responded, "he was definitely upset."

"fuck," cindy dragged a hand down her face, "he can't be, we weren't even talking to each other when that happened."

suddenly feeling weirdly embarrassed by the fact that all her friends now know that her and colson slept together, she also needed some air.

"i'll be back," she announced before going to look for rudy.

After looking up and down the hallway outside of her apartment, cindy began to walk towards the elevator, assuming rudy actually decided to go outside for air. Once she reached the ground floor, she immediately saw rudy sitting on the bench outside the front door.

"rudy-" she started as she approached him.

"cindy, no," he said sternly, but took a deep breath after seeing the reaction to his tone on cindy's face, "i'm sorry, just- please."

"okay, what the fuck," cindy stated, throwing her hands out with a sigh.

rudy looked at her confused and angrily.

"let me get this straight, you dump me-"

"I-," rudy tried to interject.

"uh-uh, let me finish," he shut his mouth, "you dump me - out of nowhere, might I add - see that i come back from this trip, for work, that was 'so impossible,'" cindy threw up air quotes, "to do long distance during and then you start slowly weaseling your way back into my life by slowly reminding me that you exist and that I have not stopped loving you."

"cin-," he tries.

"not done," she snaps and motions with her hand for him to zip it, "then when i finally get the courage to put myself back out there and try it out with a different guy, you have a problem with it."

rudy takes a deep breath.

"and THEN the cherry on top, i finally admit how i've been feeling for so long on the fucking ground of my apartment hallway and you KISSED me. and i tasted your stupid fucking pineapple chapstick that I haven't tasted in over a year. and you did that stupid thing where you start laughing in the middle the kiss which always makes me laugh too because your laugh is stupidly fucking contagious. and i just-," she began to choke on her words, "you don't get to do that," she laughs with tears beginning to form in her eyes, "you don't get to put me through the ringer and expect me to apologize for how i decided to try to put my self back together after YOU broke me."

the guilt consumed rudy. he had never felt more like a piece of shit.

"i'm an asshole," he stood up and tried to take a step closer, but cindy took a step back.

"yeah, a fucking huge one, rudy," she breathed out, the tears began to leave her eyes, "maybe you were right about us," she shrugged, "maybe we just don't work."

"cindy, please don't do this," he begged, trying to reach for her hand, but she pulled away quickly.

cindy scoffed, "anyone else getting deja vu? 'cause i'm pretty sure i told you that exact same thing when you broke up with me a year and a half ago."

"i just want you with me, cindy, only me," he looked away for a second, "and it hurts when i see you with other guys, okay?"

"well fuck that," she laughed, the sadness she previously felt slowly turned into anger, "you know what else hurt? when i showed up at your doorstep to tell you i still loved you and you had lipstick all over your neck, but no worries right? she was just an 'old friend visiting.'" she threw up air quotes, "you're not my keeper, rudy, and i'm not yours. i can do whatever and whoever the fuck i want. we aren't together, remember?"

he shook his head, "that's not what i meant, cindy. i just mean i wish you wouldn't try to "fix" yourself by getting with other guys, it's obviously not working," he regretted that the minute it left his mouth.

cindy laughed loudly this time, "alright, dickhead, this slut," she pointed to herself, "is off to find more guys to help heal the wound that this piece of shit," she pointed to rudy, "created."

rudy eyes widened, "jesus, cindy, i didn't call you a slut. you just told me you loved me so i just meant it can't be working if-"

she cut him off as she began to walk backwards, "ehhh you sort of insinuated it." she turned around and headed back towards her apartment.

"cindy, please hear me out," he tried to get her to stop.

she stuck up two middle fingers right as she was about to turn the corner, "fuck off."

cindy's hot girl summer just woke the fuck up. we're back bitches! ;)

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HI! wtf am i doing. i love drammmaaaaaaa.

i'm moving to college in a month... who else is in the same boat and how are we feeling???? happy almost august, stay safe and thank u for reading! :)