self inserts:))

2

"my mum asked about you." 

my eyes tear up as i read the letter.

his letter. 

he broke up with me about a week ago, he cheated with my best friend. 

fact checked it, she said it was true. 

i couldn't believe it. we were so good and then he just cheated like that? 

i knew him. i knew how he acted. i thought i knew him.

then my mum hands me this letter. she doesn't know we broke up. she loved him. with her whole heart. she said he was her favourite out of all my boyfriends that i've had. i just couldn't tell her. 

my heart shatters as i read the words upon the pages.

dear y/n.
if you're reading this, i'm dead. i never cheated on you my love. i couldn't. i loved you with my whole heart and soul, i just couldn't bring myself to tell you that i had cancer. i couldn't tell you because i knew it would hurt you more. i wanted to protect you mi amour. i always wanted the best for you. i know you'll find someone better. i just couldn't bear to see you one last time because it hurt me. to see the one i love knowing i'll never get to again. i wish i could be with you my love and i wish i didn't have to be writing this. i wish i could hold you, kiss you, and be there with you one last time. but i couldn't. i knew this would happen and i knew i couldn't stop it. i'm so so sorry y/n. i am. i love you. i always have and always will. i'll always be with you.
goodbye my love.
-h/n.

i pull a locket out of the envolope and i let out a sob. its a locket with his ashes in it.

all of be wanted to believe this was just some sick joke but i knew it wasn't. i had noticed how he started looking more and more sick each passing day. 

my body breaks down and loud sobs pour out of my mouth as i curl up on my bed, trembling as i hold the paper and locket to my heart. 

"my poor boy. he's gone. i have no way of getting him back." i sob out as i shove my head into my pillow. 

i sob for hours on end, uncontrollably. 

my body is breaking down. i can't help it. 

days later

i turn in my bed and sigh as my phone rings.

his mom.

i slide the answer button as i sit up in bed.

"hello..?" i croak out, my throat dry and rough from crying for so long. 

"hey hun... im assuming you read the letter. were having a memorial tomorrow and i want you there. he would've wanted you there." she manages to get out.

more tears fall as i agree, needing to be around his family. 

i get up and i look at myself in the mirror, sighing.

i've lost weight again. i look like shit. god i miss him so fucking much. 

i wipe my face and go downstairs.

"mum i'm going out tomorrow, kay?" she sighs as she's staring down at her book, she agrees and waves me off.

bitch.

i go back upstairs and i lay back in my bed. i finally decide to open my phone again. even more tears fall as i see my background. 

a photo of him. on our first date 4 years ago. i immediately turn off my phone and i sob, hugging a pillow.