fixing feelings - vance hopper

chapter 4

you don't remember what happened before but you woke up on vance's lap as he was watching Texas chain saw massacre and you could feel his hand playing with your hair. you didn't want him to know that you were awake just in case he stopped if he knew you were awake. "i know you're awake sweetheart" vance says lowly and you sigh. "whatttt how" you say dragging the "what" you stopped snoring he said trying not to laugh. "i don't snore!" you whisper yell and he tucks a piece of your h/c hair behind your ear. sure you don't.. he said sarcastically
you roll your eyes playfully and stretch your arm across his lap.
he seems much more confident and bold today. usually he's hesitant and nervous.

vance's pov:
i thought about my feelings through while she was sleeping on my lap. she honestly makes me so much happier but no matter how much i try pushing the feeling of regret. i don't want to get hurt again. no body ever seemed to care about my feelings before and suddenly this beautiful girl in front of me does. she makes me soft and i feel weak because of it but i cant stop feeling the need to care about her just like the way i think she cares about me. usually i'm angry all the time and just leave the house every day to go calm down in the arcade but she's calming me down.

i can't believe she even kissed me. like y/n kissed me? why would she even like someone like me.
i know i have bad anger issues and i don't ever wanna hurt her feelings or anything. i hate this feeling. no body matters but her.

she didn't deserve to hear what that boy was talking about. he's always been on my ass and always wants to fucking start an argument.
y/n is not some slut that i'd just play around with.

i suddenly hear her stop softly snoring and i start to play with her soft hair. she smells like
(favorite scent). i think for a second on what i'm about to say then it slips out "i know you're awake sweetheart" she sighs and asks me how i knew and i decided to mess with her a lil and tell her that she was snoring which wouldn't have been a lie but still. she giggles and disagrees and i tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. ugh she's so beautiful. she makes me so soft. she then stretches her arm across my lap and looks up at me. i want to kiss her so bad again. i miss the way her soft lips felt and her pretty e/c eyes close up to mine.
"vance? whatcha thinking about?" she asks which takes me out of my thoughts. mm nothing i mumble.
she props herself up on her elbows and leans in and kisses my cheek and watches my cheeks turn pink. she giggles and gets up and i sigh loud enough for her to hear. vance you know i do have to get home at some point right? she says.

i don't want her to go back home i just want her to be with me all the time i've been the happiest i've been in a while with her here with me.

i walk up to her while she's folding up her work clothes she wore when i brought her here and i came up behind her a wrap my arms around her waist without thinking. she gasps and then softens "yk i thought you were mean at first" she says still folding her clothes. you're actually just a softie deep inside she says turning around to look at me. "only for you" i blurt out which makes her blush.

she walks to the door and i grab her hand asking her not to leave. she playfully rolls her eyes and explains to me that she has to go home at some point because she takes care of her mother when she's drunk so she doesn't hurt herself or anything and she cant wear my oversized clothes all the time which i don't see any problem there.

i sigh and walk outside with her and i insist i at least walk her home. i've tried not to think about these missing kid cases coming up but they're making me nervous and i don't want anything
bad to happen to her.

she agrees and takes my hand which makes me laugh and i notice my happiness and slowly wipe away my smile. i hate these feelings

your pov:
vance is such a sweetheart and you dont wanna leave him at all. but you're worried about your mom though she doesn't care about you.

sometimes your mom would come home with bruises on her face and arms from being drunk. and the house would become a mess

you take vances hand and walk down the sidewalk to your house which is actually not too far maybe like 7 minutes away. you walk up to your one story house and open the door that is unlocked and see your mom laying on the couch surrounded by cans of alcohol while fast asleep.

you let out a big sigh and turn around to look at vance and give him a big hug. he surprisingly hugs you back and wraps his arms around your waist.

when will i see you again? you hear him whisper. "well it's Monday right? we can meet up Wednesday so i can have time to clean up around my house tomorrow" you say as you give him a reassuring smile. he nods sadly and you lift his chin up and kiss his nose and watch him blush slightly. you wave to him as he walks away.

i cant wait to see him again.