as it was ~ conrad fisher

ten.

𖡼𖤣𖥧𖡼𓋼𖤣𖥧𓋼𓍊

every birthday i've ever had has been here, in this house.

"cha, cha, cha, happy birthday..." everyone sings.

mom walks over with belly and i's mickey mouse pancakes.

it's always the same. mom makes us mickey mouse pancakes. everyone gives us presents.

"dear belly and lilah..." over the loud singing of everyone else i hear conrad's 'and dels.'

it's the one day the boys have to include us in everything. it's my favorite day of the year.

as the song comes to an end, everyone cheers.

i look over at belly, like i always do, before blowing out my candles.

conrad grabs the syrup and opens it, pouring it carefully, making an infinity symbol on both belly and i's pancakes.

"what is that?" belly asks.

"infinity." con and i say. i look over at him, his eyes already focused on me. he smiles and turns his attention back to belly.

"do you know what that means?" she shakes her head, "it's really cool. i learned it in math class. so, you know how numbers keep getting bigger and bigger? a hundred, a thousand, a million. to get to the biggest number in the world, you'd have to keep counting, because there's always a bigger number. it's boundless."

hearing conrad ramble on about things wasn't anything new to me, he'd do it all the time. whether i was trying to read or go on a night swim after belly had already gone to bed, he'd always find his way to me.

"i don't get it." belly says.

"imagine it's a racetrack." he says, pointing at my pancakes since i was seated closer to him, "you see how there's no starting or ending point? you could travel endlessly around those curves. goes on forever. that's infinity."

𓆉

belly knocks on my already open door, slowly walking in.

"you ready?" she asks.

i put on my last ring and turned to her, seeing we were wearing similar outfits, "ready."

as we enter the kitchen, belly and i stop in the doorway, "morning, everyone."

"happy birthday!" everyone says.

belly and i look at each other, laughing.

"there's the birthday girls, looking like visions in floral. happy birthday." susannah says, hugging the both of us.

jere walks towards us, smiling, "happy sweet 16, els." he hugs us both tight.

"now belly button and deli meat are getting old finally. happy birthday." steven says, eating a piece of bacon.

"thanks, everyone." belly and i say.

"happy birthday, sweetheart." mom says, hugging belly.

"thanks, mom."

she lets go of belly and hugs me, "you too, honey. your mickey mouse pancakes are ready."

"actually, i'm not really, uh, hungry." belly says.

even though i deep down wasn't really hungry this morning, i would've eaten them, for mom.

"oh." mom says. i can tell she's disappointed.