WARNING ⚠️ | negative talk. Idk.
Author | don't hate yourself. Your beautiful the way u are , always <3
🖤🖤🖤
Your POV
It was 10:45 at night. Yeah , I should be sleeping. But right now , I was drowning in my own tears. I've been suffering from depression for a while now , actually since I was 15.. I'm 19. I grew up without any friends in high school , nobody liked me , having depression. My parents kicked me out for it. What do I have to live for? Everyone hates me , so why not hate myself with them.
I began punching my pillow , aggressively as I possibly could. I just hit it over and over , sobbing louder each hit.
" y/n , hey hey.. what's wrong?" I heard. I looked up and seen Jake standing by the bed , taking the pillow away.
" n-nothing , Jake." I mumbled , as I wiped my eyes.
" no , somethings wrong. Do I need to call Logan?" He asked , Jake was like a brother to me. He was always there for me when Logan wasn't around.
" no , please don't." I cried out , I couldn't let my boyfriend see me like this.
" then tell me , what's going on?" He asked , sitting down on the bed.
" I can't , Jake. I'm sorry but I can't." I whispered , he sighed.
" then I have nothing to do , but call Logan. I'm sorry , y/n. But he deserves to know , I'm not like that to keep something from him.. he's my brother. " Jake spoke , I nodded.
He then stood up , and left the room. I just immediately broke down again , I couldn't tell Logan. It's not that I don't want to , I just can't bear the thought of him being ashamed of me. He shouldn't have to deal with me like this , he already has so much to do then to deal with me.
Time skip
I was still a mess , I haven't stopped crying. My sobs were Interrupted though , I realized my boyfriend , Logan was standing in the doorway , along with Jake by his side. I was screwed at this point.
" baby , what's going on? Jake called me and told me you were a sobbing mess while hitting your pillow over and over again." Logan spoke , softly as he walked over to me , sitting next to me.
" I can't tell you , Logan." I whispered to him.
" why not? I want to help you with whatever it is your going through. Please , sweetheart. Talk to me." He said , as he began rubbing my back.
" I just can't. I'm sorry." I sobbed , they both looked at me. I know they both wanted to him me , mostly Logan. At this point , I couldn't , I gave in.
" look at me , Babygirl -" before he could continue..
" I hate myself , Logan. " I cried , he was taken back. " everyone else hated me , or hates me. I hated high school because everyone hated me , I hated my childhood cause every one hated me , my parents kicked me out and hate me. I wake up every morning and I hate myself , I go to bed and I hate myself. Everyone hates me so why not just hate myself , too." I admitted.
At this point , both Jake and Logan had tears in their eyes. That broke me , too. I hurt them and that made me hate myself more.
" y/n , my love. Why wouldn't you come to me sooner and talk to me? I would've listened , I would've held you until you felt better. Why , baby?" Logan asked , pulling me into his arms as I held onto him , tightly.
" you already had so much to deal with , I didn't want my mental health to be one of them. I didn't want you being ashamed of me , Logan." I told him , I could feel him rub my arm.
" you thought I'd be ashamed of you? Baby , I could never be ashamed of you. I'm always gonna be here for you , and always gonna listen to you , I could never be ashamed of you. But sweetheart , come to me next time you feel this way. Please stop hating yourself , your so beautiful , funny , your just so precious. Your my Angel. My world. My everything. I wouldn't know what to do without you in my life , I love you. I love you so so much , y/n. " he spoke , I could hear the cries in his voice. He meant it.
" I love you , Logan. I love you so much , I'm sorry I didn't come to you. I promise , I'll always come to you from now on. " I whispered , he kissed my forehead.
" I love you too , Jake." I spoke , looking over to him.
" I love you too , little sis." He smiled and left the room , it was Logan and I.
He raised up , causing me to get up. He pulled the blankets as he then pulled me right back into his chest , he laid the blanket over us both as he wrapped his arms around me. I felt him kiss my forehead again.
"My precious Angel , I love you." He whispered.
I love this boy.
Author | I'm sorry it's long. But I thought it was cute <3
