Survivor's Guilt ~ A Marvel Story

~1~

The golden sun matched the delicate chains that decorated my white-blonde hair. The smoothly paved cobblestone let out a high-pitched click as the small heel of my felt shoes walked across its surface. Birds chirped happily above me and I stared in wonder as they flew in circles, darting in and out of grand oaks, their leaves as green as ever. 

A pleasant smile never left my face once the sweet scent of peonies filled the crisp and golden air around me. 

The gardens of Asgard were never busy. Perhaps because only the royalty of Asgard could visit them and no one in the castle made time to visit them except for me. My brothers would on occasion but this was a daily ritual for me. Mother says it's good to have those. 

After walking down the unpaved gravel paths for a while, I came across my favorite bench. Its wooden surface was dark with polish and gold wrapped around the back and across the handles like a rich vine. 

I sat on the polished wood and stared at the familiar sight in front of me, letting my skirt billow out around my legs. Six trees were planted in a neat row, all growing at different heights. 

The middle two were the tallest, at equal heights. They were planted after my parent's wedding. Its branches were thick and bountiful with fresh leaves. The roots made the ground rise in dangerous knots. Next to the tree on the right were two shorter, but not small, trees. They symbolized my brothers. The two smaller trees on the left were of my sister and me.

There was a gap between my oldest sister, Angela, and the grand oak that symbolized my mother. I've always wondered why there was such a large space. Maybe the soil wasn't fertile enough to plant a tree in that spot. 

"Astrid," A deep hushed voice whispered from my right. My hands flinched in panic even once I'd realized it was a friend. "Lord, your father will kill you if he knows you're out here," Heimdall said with harshness. It took a while to realize that he wasn't being rude when he spoke like this. It was just his way to show concern. 

"What time is it?" I asked, looking towards the sun to see where its position was in the clear blue sky. 

"Too late for you to be out here," He gently regarded. The sun had begun to set and I hadn't even realized it. The pink of the sun shone through the horned helmet that Heimdall was required to wear as a watchman. 

I shrugged and stood up. "Well, then it means it's too late for you to be out here as well," I scoffed sarcastically.

"Your mother sent me to find you. You're lucky your father hasn't found out you aren't with your brothers yet." I nodded at this point. "At least you're dressed and ready." I kept my head pointed down towards my golden fabric shoes. When I stood, the thick fabric of my black gown covered them completely.  A warm hand draped across my shoulder. "You are ready, yes?"

My shoulders, which were covered in pads that resembled golden dragon scales, came up and then fell, the bodice of my dress moving tightly around my waist. "Yeah, I'm happy for Thor." Even I could hear the hesitation and the words left unsaid in my voice. Heimdall didn't pry, however. 

My eldest brother was getting crowned King of Asgard today. 

If you had asked a younger version of me how I would feel, I would've been ecstatic for him. But younger me didn't know that in preparation for his coronation, he would hardly speak to me for years. His nose was always buried in our father's lessons and his focus was always on weapons training.

Now, if he becomes King, his attention will be on an entire realm plus eight others. I tried telling myself I really didn't care and that I understood what he was going through. That was the first lie I told myself.