Bruises (BWWM)

8

8

Tamra

To my surprise, Ben Sutters was standing by his locker, picking up a few books and stuffing them into his backpack, the very next day, on Monday. I remained at a reasonable distance, observing his every move. Why was he even here?

He closed his locker's door and headed towards the men's bathroom. Curiosity spiked my interest and I followed him without even flinching. Sometimes I hated being so involved into something. Because I was so persistent, it felt like I couldn't back out anymore.

"What the hell?" let out a freshman who was urinating. He quickly zipped up his pants and ran outside. He didn't even wash his hands. Gross.

I realized it was my first time being in here; the boys's bathroom. It was definitely cleaner than it was made up to be by rumors. Despite the walls having turned into an off-white color and the few sharpie inscriptions onto the back of the furthest wall, it looked just like any regular establishment's restroom.

Ben didn't even need to spin around to face me to know that I was here. He turned his back to me and proceeded to do his business, completely conscious that I was standing a few feet behind him. He was lucky I wasn't the type to stare.

"Following me into the dead of night and my apartment still isn't enough for you I see? Now you have to accompany me to the restroom?" he bitterly chuckled. "What is wrong with you? I'm starting to think that I should get you a restraining order."

"Yeah, you do that, because you really want me gone," I sarcastically said as I followed him to the sink as he washed his hands with soap and cold water. "Listen, I just want..."

"To know. I know," he cut me, looking up at me through the huge mirror. "Except you forget that I don't want you or anyone to know."

I looked at his eye and noticed it was looking significantly less bruised.

"Is that makeup on your eye?" I inquired, bringing a finger to touch it. He swiftly avoided my touch and grabbed my hand.

"Yes. Yes it is," he answered, "Why do you care so much? Everyone hates me. My whole lacrosse team despises me. My father once wanted to disown me. My friends never supported me. But you. You just can't hate me, no matter how hard I push you away."

"I don't think I've been vocal enough about this, but yeah, I hate you. No, I dislike the personality you drape yourself with. I hate that guy. But the boy inside, underneath the cold surface, I don't know him. I don't know if I should hate him yet."

Ben sighed and started walking towards the stalls.

"You know I'm back because of you? Because my mother was so alarmed when you told her I didn't come to school for two weeks. I had called the direction, pretending to be my runaway of a dad, and told them I was going to visit him in Kansas City. I made sure everything was perfect, yet you found a way to screw it all up."

Why was he telling me this now?

He had never shared anything personal with me so now why was he was this talkative? I didn't know the answer to that question, but I figured I should take advantage of it and make him talk even more.

"You still don't want to open up to me?" I asked, as he stopped to dry out his hands and wouldn't look back at me, "Well, I might just have to show you the deepest blister of my life. Brace yourself to meet my mom."

He turned around and stared at me as if I was the crazy one in this room.

I clutched his arm and dragged him outside, as he oddly but obediently followed. I spotted his car from across the parking lot and we hurried next to it. He unlocked the doors of his car and we both climbed in.

"Drive us to Macounty Sanitarium," I ordered, sliding on my security belt.

He widely grinned.

"Why are you smiling?" I demanded, furrowing my dark eyebrows.

"Nothing, it's just that it's funny that Alex's supposedly good girl is in my car, missing last period solely to prove me something."

I crossed my arms over my chest. He pressed on the accelerator, speeding away from Vanio High's campus. And it was as we were rolling away from the friendly chearleaders dressed in black and blue, the stuck up English teachers and the decent cafeteria food that I asked :

"Why is it that you, and everyone, think that Alex is madly in love with me? As I recall correctly, he has slept with tons of girls and he doesn't even mind kissing them in front of me. What makes you think I'm Alex's girl?"

He raised his brows, as if struck by obvious evidence.

"You really don't see it do you? Are you blind or something? It's just so apparent that he doesn't care about all the girls he kisses and dates. No, he only does this to outrage you. To make you jealous. Guess it's not working since it only left you dazed and confused."

I was left dumbfounded. Was it true? Did Alex really care about me this much? Why couldn't he just tell me?

"We're here," Ben let out, pulling me from my thoughts, "Macounty Sanitarium. Do you know how well I know this place? I used to sneak up in there every week to visit my grandfather. He was nuts. But freaking hilarious."

I nodded, surprised at how chatty Ben turned out to be with me today. Maybe he was just curious and apprehensive to see what I considered being the deepest cut in my life. My mom. Or maybe he was willing to let me in.

I took out my cellphone from my bag and the three unread messages -all from the same person- said :

F A Y E : 'why are you not in english class right now? its so boring without you..'
F A Y E : 'your sis told me everything dont tell me you actually like ben??'
F A Y E : 'we have to talk as soon as you give signs of life. why are you not answering me?'

She sounded like an obsessive girlfriend.

I ignored her texts and got out of the car as Ben trailed behind me. I peered over my shoulder and caught him staring at my bare legs. Typical Ben.

We rode up the elevator to the seventh floor and arrived in front of my mother's room. The nurse that accompanied us cheerfully announced to my mom that she had two visitors this time. But she didn't even bother looking up at us.

"So that's my mom," I said, once the nurse left us, "She doesn't speak nor does she look at me when I come visit. It's been like this for three years now. My sister and my dad are already over it, but it still pains me dearly."

"You don't have to move on fast," he pointed out, more to himself than to me, "You don't have to move on at all."

At the sound of Ben's voice, my mother's head abruptly sprung up and she looked into his planetary eyes. A crease formed onto my forehead. My mom was reacting to something. Ben was staring back at her in shock.

"You were the first one I saved..." he murmured, taking a step towards her.

"Wait... You two know each other?"

I needed answers. And I was about to get them.