Directions in Transition

Chapter 2: Leaves as Autumn, Spring and Ice

"I want to know what your thinking," Theo thinks in his mind, "That's that only thing I want."

There was many things to what Theo wants inside but he would never tell Estelle. He doesn't think his particularly depressed friend would ever want to know and drag another problem with that. He really wishes that Estelle would connect with him more, but feels happy that he is the closest person out of everyone that could be said to be his friend.

He feels sick at his own thoughts. His friend would not need that right now. Estelle needs other healthy human contact besides him. 

Right, yeah so maybe he is a bit not normal. But anyways who is? He mostly grew up in a way more normal childhood household, so it was not fair to compare Estelle's situation with his own. 

The locker besides his slams shut and Theo twists aside to look in annoyance. It was one of the football team sporty boys and they never got along. He supposed since he was on the soccer team for fun, (because of his parents) that they didn't outright antagonize each other. Estelle always felt uncomfortable when Theo hanged out with them, and in a way they both understood the boys there were horrible people and targeted minorities, but Theo really wanted to fit in. 

"Hey what-sup Loser?" Bryant London laughed and went to knock his shoulders with Theo's. Theo shrugged his arm and flipped him off. "Heh, well would you look at that? Pretty little teacher's pet got some kick to him." 

"Only since your presence is aggravating me. What you doing anyways? Got a game tonight?" Theo switched up his speech, trying to sound like those disgusting boys he hangs out with. He really should've never joined any sports this year as Estelle recommended, but his parents were too looking forward with shiny tiny gold hearts for him to decline. Soccer wasn't his favorite sport, he enjoyed running more and that was a major part in soccer but he wasn't the best teammate to play with. 

"Yeah, yeah. You gonna be there or something? The boys all are prep since we going up against the Jaguars, best rivals for our school. We better come on top this year or coach Chuck will piss himself again," Bryant laughs and Theo rolls his eyes. "How your team holding up T?"

"Going good so far. Our team isn't losing anytime soon. At least we know that the soccer and football team with always come on top regardless of other sports," they both laugh while Theo feels slightly bad about dissing the other sport's teams. 

"Obviously, I mean anyways but have you seen Amelia Lope yet? Damn she is hella fine and is the other teams main cheerleader. I wanna get into her," Bryant smirks and chuckles. Theo feels disgusted again inside, knowing that Bryant had a girlfriend already, a childhood sweetheart from his class, but the way he sexualizes her feels worse. They are all disgusting bags of flesh. 

"Whatever cheater. Just don't tell Jennifer that or Jennies gonna be pissed again and break up for the third time," someone from the crowd shrieks, probably Luca by the sound of his voice.

"Yeah, yeah," Bryant dismisses, "Anyways after the game we all got a party tonight, wanna come? It will be around 10 p.m. at Saltlake S.t, Andy's house, just don't bring your emo chick here. Haha. See ya around," and leaves with the rest of his gang. 

Theo feels stuck there in place for a while, considering if he should give a sucker-punch to Bryant's smug face the second he see's him again or call him out for being transphobic. Estelle didn't come out yet, but with people like Bryant who actively tries to hurt him, there's no wonder why. Theo doesn't even think it's worth it to stick with the group, but Estelle convinced him to stay for some reason. Probably because he didn't want to make Theo feel bad because of him (whatever that means).

But because Theo was a terrible friend, he doesn't tell Estelle and leaves for his next class. 

Horrible friend indeed, he agrees inside his head.