my green

006 : broken rules

aot_hd : twt

**mentions of suicide **

"you said his name while i was in you."

you rolled your eyes, turning so that your back faced him, then you stilled just as you were about to walk away. "i don't remember that."

you did, you just didn't want to deal with an argument you wanted no part in. you weren't his, just as much as he wasn't yours. he shouldn't have been so bothered by it, but when you lead someone on with hopes and wishes, part of you does belong to them.

"i know how you are, i can tell when you're lying."

that was what made you spin around in a split second, him claiming to know you, "you don't know anything about me."

"i know that you love him." tall and muscular, slouching into himself. hurting, visibly hurting, twisting his features into a frown that fortified his anguish. "and here i am, chasing after you."

"go home." you said as he approached you in tangled legs, he moved fast attacking your face with sticky palms to hold you, for his comfort.

he sighed, "why don't you stop me from chasing you?" his voice was shaking at a high magnitude, "is it because you're scared of him rejecting you? because if everything falls, you'll still have me?"

"go home, please."

he wasn't eren.

six months before

"call me if you need anything, okay?"

"yes, mom." you nod for the millionth time, that's not an exaggeration. "love you, bye." you hang up the call and slip your phone back into your back pocket.

you hid in an upstairs restroom of the two story house the party was being hosted at, jean's house. hiding for obvious reasons, you don't know anyone and you're new to this place and know nothing about how things work around.

the floor beneath your feet vibrates. the music is loud–deafening–to the point where single thoughts can't be made out. there are also bangs and booms when people bounce up and down to the beat of the music.

with no care of the things going on in the world, these kids party. they worry about themselves and how they are perceived by others. to gain a respectable reputation, that is. to be known on school campus as the guy who took a body shot off of the loner girl or the girl who hooked up with the popular quarterback, to be recognized by their outrageous decisions and be invited into a friend group that the whole campus knows of. they do it for popularity.

living a normal life was the goal until you grew up and realized that no matter how hard you avoided conflicts and cliques and drama, the malice always found you. whether it was falling into a puddle or walking into a wall, it found you. the most malicious of it all was your dad. perhaps that was the day you realized that the life you've been living wasn't to be normal or ordinary and that there was no such thing as being typical.

with a cold splash to your hands, you awaken. fully conscious and aware of your surroundings–a home that isn't yours to call. the smoothness of the stream is relaxing in every way, brings you back to earth, unravels your nerves, reminds you that you in fact are experiencing changes.