my green

007 : fire and ice

aot_hd : twt

playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3R7eGGhGDtdQOLkgGlgRHX?si=12JNp8fwTWGXpzlTct7lNw

sometimes i wonder if eren ever noticed the visible light at the very back of my eyes when i saw him, literally saw him and noticed him for every microscopic thing he thought he wasn't.

if he ever felt the beating of my heart crescendo against his own when i snuck my arms around his backside, if he memorized the quiver on my lips when we kissed, if he ever heard the whispered and silent 'i love you's' while he rested beside me.

five months before

"so, eren," she holds her hands out, showcasing some car right in front of his vision, jazz hands and wiggling fingers and all of that junk, "what do you think?"

he looks around, unimpressed, really, "you've got another car, cool."

carla sighs, drops her hands and retrieves the keys out of her front denim pocket, "it's for you."

"for me?"

"for you."

"really?"

"dead serious." carla has a habit of picking up things eren says and adding it to her ancient vocabulary.

he squints his eyes, snatching the keys from her hand, "what's the catch?"

"no catch."

"you want me to visit my therapist regularly? or want me to keep my room clean? or what?" eren walks towards the silver sedan that's parked on the curb, he walks its perimeter inspecting its surroundings. "there's gotta be something." he mutters, flicking away a fallen leaf that was on the front windshield.

carla sighs, she rolls her eyes, "no, eren. can't you just receive gifts for the hell of it? and be more appreciative, i'm trying really hard to be a good mother."

"oh, mama," he walks over towards her, eren holds open arms, "you're a great mother."

she hugs him, tightly, no one or nothing will hurt him if she protects him with her life like such, "you're a great son."

"i'm actually excited, wow." keys jingling around his fingers when he smooths his hands up and down her back. his chin rests atop the crown of her head.

eren has had his license for a few months, it was practically handed to him. the kid sucks at driving, it's still a wonder to him how he even passed his road test. carla is aware of this, but it's nothing a little practice can't fix. with his own car, he'd be thrilled to actually learn the tricks of it all.

"and what do you say?"

"thank you, ma." he smiles behind her, loosening his grip around her, "now i can take my friends to the movies and to the mall and just hang out."

"with caution, always." his dad used to tell him that all the time, guess it just stuck around.

that's the effect he had on this world. his little sayings and habits stuck around his family and friends. he's still here as tiny gestures and clues. for example, eren swears to hear his laughter and voice lost in the garden of flowers, hidden in the petals and embedded in the dirt and where their pool was once was.