Hearts On The Line

Chapter ten

Jackson and Anna have talked non-stop about Miles since last night. Jackson went from excited to bummed to angry with me over Miles leaving early. I didn't tell them about the fight. I tried my hardest to hold it together. With Tara and Mom, it was a little easier.

I don't want to keep my kids from their dad, but I know in the end they will get hurt again. Miles is not the kind of guy who keeps his promises. He never was. Even the man who drove me around in the Camaro, as much as I loved that version of him. He was still shady, even then, but I let love blind me. I was young and stupid. I don't regret it though, if I hadn't been so reckless, I would have never known the joy of being Anna and Jackson's mom.

Tomorrow night Tara and I are still heading to the concert. I'm not going to let him take that away from me.

I worked the late shift today and now I'm lying in bed, wide awake.

My phone beeps.

Miles: I'm sorry.

I don't bother to answer. He's always "sorry", which makes it harder to believe. Another text comes through.

Miles: I'll prove my loyalty to you.

No, you won't. I turn the phone over on the bed, trying to ignore the urge to answer him. It's like second nature to forgive and start the cycle all over. I refuse to be that girl again.

The voices on the downstairs TV are muffled behind the closed door. The rest of the house is quiet. Mom is staying at my place and Tara decided with everything going on she would sleep at my house instead of her own.

My thoughts in the darkness drift to Lawson. It's only been a little over twenty-four hours and as much as I want him to reach out, I'm glad he has let me work through my thoughts. He knows and respects boundaries and it's what I love about him. I don't condone fighting, but I know his heart was in the right place. I can't get it out of my head.

Then the way he kissed me, left me wanting more. Mom and Tara picked up and dropped the kids at school today, so I haven't seen him either. My mind is so screwed up right now. I'm scared and angry at what Miles might do.

I contemplate reaching out to Lawson, just to hear his voice. I also want to let him know I'm going tomorrow. It's late, but I need a distraction.

Me: Are you awake?

Within seconds his text appears.

Lawson: Can't sleep. I want to make it up to you, Nadine. It wasn't my place to do that. I don't know how else to apologize. It's eating me alive.

I believe him. He's the kind of man who hurts when others are. Miles would always apologize, and I'd immediately forgive, but Lawson is not Miles. Miles had a way to twist things and make me feel bad, but then seconds later get hot headed again. Lawson isn't like that.

Me: Can I come over?

Lawson: Now?

Me: ...

Lawson: My door is always open.

Throwing my blankets off I head downstairs. It's a little after midnight. Mom and Tara are still wide awake, sipping late night tea, and chatting.

"Hey, sweetheart. Are you okay?" Mom glances up, resting her blue mug on her lap. She's all nestled in her plaid pajamas. Tara too.

"I'm uh — can you guys keep an eye on the kids? I need to uh — need to do something."

"At midnight?" Mom narrows her eyes.

"Please."

Tara smiles like she knows. "She's going to see Lawson, Mom."