Her Best Friend's Wedding

Chapter 14

The friendship wasn't what Virginia expected. Things were much like they were before except for the occasional conversation here or there but it was always general, nothing beyond how they were doing or how their weekend plans were. Virginia wanted more but she feared it would be a disaster if Melody was still in the equation.

Melody was a name they never brought up and as much as Virginia wanted to know what the status was between them, she decided to let sleeping dogs lie. The less she knew, the better it was for her heart; a heart that was slowly trying to convince her that she was not over the crush she had on Tamara.

"Are things getting any better?"

Her mother asked her one day in reference to her relationship with Tamara.

"It's not getting worse so that's a good thing."

"Would you do me a favor then? Can you tell her thank you for me? She sent me a jigsaw puzzle."

"Did she?"

"Yes. It's a nice one too."

"I'll let her know."

Why would Tamara feel compelled to send her mother a jigsaw puzzle? As a 'thank you' maybe, during the wedding weekend or was she always that thoughtful and kind. It was something Virginia always knew of her but it was different when it was closer to home.

Virginia's birthday was another example of her kindness; after she'd returned from lunch with Lauren, she found a bouquet of flowers on her desk. At first, she thought they were from her brother or maybe her mother but when she read the card, she found it was from Tamara and her favorite part of the card was the way she signed her name, 'Tam'.

"Is she in?" Virginia stopped by Tamara's office to say thank you.

"Yes." She told Virginia to wait a moment as she checked with Tamara. "Go on in."

"Thanks."

"Miss McKay, Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you and thank you for the flowers. They're beautiful."

"Don't mention it. Did you enjoy your lunch?"

"I did. Lauren and I went to this very nice restaurant. It was great."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it."

"I did."

Each time Virginia was in Tamara's presence, she wanted to make their short conversations longer but she had no idea how to.

"Any evening plans?"

"Just drinks with friends," Virginia told her. "You are welcome to join if you're not too busy."

"Thank you but I can't tonight." Virginia was disappointed and disappointed at the progression of their friendship that didn't seem to be progressing at all. "Why don't you take the rest of the day off?"

"I don't need to."

"Just take it, please."

Virginia went home early that day and tortured herself with preconceived reasons why Tamara couldn't join her for her birthday night out; a number of those reasons included Melody. Melody was the second thought when she thought of Tamara; it was impossible not to think of her and think of her as a factor especially when Virginia caught wind of Tamara traveling. In her mind, there was only one place, one person that Tamara was going to and it was those recurring thoughts that made her decide that it was best to just let it go.

By the time the annual Christmas party rolled around, she had no intention of making her way over to Tamara. That year would be different and when the new year rang in, she would try to find herself a relationship.

"Aren't you going over there?" Lauren motioned over to Tamara, who was standing in a circle with a few of their colleagues.

"No."

For the past couple weeks, Lauren had been trying to get Virginia to stop wallowing and give the possibility of being with Tamara a second thought but Virginia concluded that the scales weren't balanced, all the feelings were one sided.

"It wouldn't be an office Christmas party if you didn't at least try."

"It was a short-lived tradition. She's not interested in me and I doubt she ever will be."

"I think you're wrong." Lauren's comment didn't arouse her as she kept her eyes on her other coworkers having fun. "You know your birthday lunch? She paid for that. She came to me and told me to take you out to someplace nice. She wanted you to have a good time."

Virginia didn't know that but she didn't allow that one instance to sway her. It was nice but that's all it was, nice. "That's only one thing."

"Yeah, well, it's something." Lauren glanced around the room. "You're just being stubborn."

"I'm being sensible."

"You stay here and be sensible then."

Lauren walked away, leaving her to stand alone and a few minutes later, from the corner of her eye, she noticed Tamara approaching her. Instantly, she grew unsteady. There was something about the way Tamara made her feel; giddy, that was the best way to describe it. She could only imagine if the woman was hers, how would she make it through each day. It made her wonder if it was how Melody felt, was she giddy around Tamara, did she feel punch drunk in her presence.

"Happy Holidays."

Tamara was cheerful but underneath was a layer of anxiety, evident by the fact that she wasn't looking at Virginia. Over the months, she learned to watch the woman closely for emotions, words, or anything that might be hidden in-between her minimal words.

Virginia repeated the holiday greeting. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Things could be going a little better."

"How so?"

Tamara reached out, grabbed her hand, and Virginia found that she missed the connection after months of being without it. Virginia looked down at the link in their hands and then up to Tamara.

"Do you want to get out of here?"

Words failed her and her actions, a nod of her head, spoke louder at that moment. Tamara didn't let go of her hand until they were in her office and Virginia grew nervous as Tamara leaned against the door and watched her. She didn't know what to expect, were they going to make out like a couple of teenagers or were they going to talk about how monotonous the Christmas party had become?

"A year ago, you approached me and said something I'd never forget and since then, you've been on my mind but my love life was already complicated and I didn't want to complicate it more and hurt you so I said nothing. I did nothing. I simply appreciated you from afar." She smiled to herself as if remembering. "Then there was the wedding, where more words were said and you kissed me, stirring up an emotion in me for you. A part of me wanted to be with you desperately but I was afraid that if I wanted you too much, Melody would mess it up somehow and it all would come crashing down, I would hate myself for it, and working together would be out of the question.

"Next, you were disappointed in me because of what happened with Melody. Your words hurt me but it was what I needed. I needed to face the truth. It was painful to accept those things about myself and even harder to break out of the habit of being with Melody but I did it. I did it because it was the right thing to do, I did it because it was time and most importantly, I did it because I wanted you more than anything.

After we came back, I said to myself, if I still felt this way about you by the holidays then I would do something about it. I would come up to you like you've done to me at past parties and I'd ask you one question. I realized that I ran the risk of you losing interest in me, which I believe has happened and I pray that's not the case." She took a breath, "The question I wanted to ask was, do you still think I'm not worth it?"

And just like that, when Virginia thought she was over Tamara, her speech pulled her back in. "You should give speeches all the time."

"That doesn't answer my question."

Virginia laughed and walked closer to her. "You definitely are worth it." The words garnered a smile. "I'm going to kiss you now."