my old flame

Chapter 18

Beatrice

By Friday we had both gotten into a rhythm and were getting a lot done. Will was actually working and not staring at me with those sad puppy dog eyes anymore, which was good. I missed him though. I missed our weird friendship and how he made me feel when we texted each other. I felt beautiful and desired. Arven was doing a much better job than before, and I could feel the connection between us getting stronger every day. Don't get me wrong though, but Will was a super-hot guy who was hitting on me. I know I sound vain right now but maybe I'm not so bad to look at after all.

"Hey Bea?" Lysander interrupted my thoughts.

"Hey Lys,"

"Can we have lunch together today?"

I nodded. I knew this was coming. What was he going to do? Drug me and kidnap me? We might just have a nice lunch together and reminisce about the good old days. They weren't that good. And I knew why he wanted to have lunch with me.

We went to a restaurant not too far from the office. We didn't talk the whole ride there.

"I'm sorry Bea." First words out of his mouth after we sat at our table.

"Has Lysander ever said sorry?" I asked patronizing him.

He smirked and then grabbed my hands. He breathed in deeply.

"If you tell me that you don't love me, I will leave. If you can't, I'll know I have a good shot."

"Lysander."

"I know. But... Look, Bea. You are my goal. You and Felix. I need you two in my life."

"Lysander."

"Do you love me?"

I couldn't look at him. I kept staring at my hands in his. Maybe if I didn't answer he would assume that I didn't. That won't work. He'll push until I answer. And I couldn't lie. He knew when I was lying.

He kissed my hands and asked me again, "Do you love me?"

If I say yes, I might never get him to back down. If I say no, he may be crushed, and I'll truly never see him again.

"It's complicated." He knew I hated the 'L' word.

"No, it's not." He pulled my hands, making me gasp and looked at him, "Do you love me, Bea?" He was pleading. He was in agony. Had he suffered as much as I did since that horrible night in my little apartment?

I nodded.

"Now, how is it complicated?"

"I love Arven too."

He blew out a breath.

"Lys."

"Bea, I have been miserable without you for too long. When Hannah and I divorced you were the first person I wanted to find. I wanted to tell you that we could finally be together, but when I found you, you were married. I finally decided that I would tell you anyways but by then it was too late. You had already moved away. You can't be with him."

"Do you really want me to tell you that I would leave Arven for you? I recall you telling me that only means that I could leave you for someone else." He did. I had made a joke about him leaving his girlfriend and then he could date me, and he told me that very thing.

The waitress set the food down and he finally let go of my hands.

I love a good burger and this place had the best. I took a bite.

"This burger is so good."

He smiled. "This reminds me of our trip out to the Claremont Colleges. Do you remember that?"