Ragini - Cupcakes, Football and Maybe Love

Roadtrip (5/?): a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true

yes..... i know i havent updated in long. i tried, really. no excuses. 

Ragini's POV

The strawberry milkshake glass sat there, condensation pooled down at the bottom, a few drops of milkshake remaining that we couldn't sip away. The sun had become a bit stronger now, but inside this diner, it was still cool, still comfortable. It was close to 9 now, we sat there sipping our water. I excused myself to go to the washroom where I bumped in Debra, a concerned look on her face, as if asking How is she, I shrugged, not knowing - Aashna hadn't spoken yet. It's okay. We have all the time in the world, or at least till the diner closes, but we will still have all the time in the world because its us and we can go wherever and sit quietly with each other. It was okay. 

By the time I came back to our seats, I saw the milkshake glass was no longer there, nor the cutlery. It was instead replaced with a plate of what looked like 2 doughnuts.

I chuckled as I sat down. With her mouth half full of the strawberry glazed doughnut, Aashna mumbled "I wroke ub wid im"

I pushed her hair out of her face that was almost gonna go in her mouth and smiled, "Yeah? I'm proud of your for doing it, Aashi. Do you wanna talk about it?"

After gulping down the doughnut she began, "He came to me and was complaining that he had to wake up early to come meet me. I mean, he complained before saying hello. Then he asked me why I needed to meet up with him, I had told him on the phone that we needed to talk. 

And so I told him that it is not working out and I would like to break up with him. He laughed. He goddamned laughed out loud and then when he saw that I was not laughing with him, he stopped and asked me if I was serious? "

Aashna huffed. 

"And then he looked at me seriously and asked me why?  I told him that I really don't see a future for us where I am happy in a relationship with him and he stopped me and asked what in the world did I mean by that and so I told him. I told him I was no longer happy with him, to which he again asked how can you not be happy? Did I do something? You are the one so far away from me. 

So I told him that I don't feel like he supports me or the things I am passionate about and his constant comments on my hair, my looks, my clothes and life choices feel like I am being controlled more than I feel loved and gawd Ragini, I think he lost a vein with how angry he got. He kept blaming me for moving away from him, how can I support you when you are all the way over in London? You could have chosen Manchester, you could have chosen to study here and be with me but no, you had to go to London.

Because of course he blames me for choosing to study in London when if the situation was reversed, he would have chosen that too. 

And then he went on to tell me that I need to be open to criticism and feedback because the world is a harsh place and I shouldn't expect everyone to be nice to me. He criticizes things about me because otherwise how will I ever learn, you know?

And I laughed at that point, because, I remember Greg telling us once what he had read somewhere, that yeah the world is a harsh place, but our families and friends shouldn't be the ones making it harder for us, you know? They should be a safe place for us from this cold, harsh world. Because if they treat us like the cold, harsh world does then where do we even go from there?

And gawd, I realized, at that moment, that I was no longer dealing with this sorry arse of an excuse of a boyfriend."

Aashna sighed out loud, it felt like whatever she was about to say had broken her already in pieces heart.