Rain on the Windows | Kuroken

Chapter 14

"I messed up, Kenma. I know," Kuroo's voice was already shaking as he began talking to Kenma. "I'm so sorry. For everything I said. I didn't mean any of it." Kuroo already had tears falling from his eyes. When he tried to look over at Kenma, Kenma still hadn't turned his head to face Kuroo. As he opened his mouth to say another apology, Kenma spoke.

"You know, that night I called you in the crash," Kenma took a deep breath before continuing. Although the crash had happened around five months ago, it was still hard for Kenma to talk about it. "I honestly thought I was going to die. And if I had to hear one more voice before I did, I couldn't have imagined it being anyone but you."

Kenma finally looked up at Kuroo. His cheeks were tear-stained, but his voice hadn't cracked once.

"Kenma," Kuroo was shocked. Kenma had never told him that he believed he would have died. He had never even hinted at it. "I had no idea."

"I know you didn't," Kenma said, his voice sounding defeated. "Which is why I owe you a formal apology."

"Kenma, no. I'm the one who owes you an apology-"

"Please let me say this, Kuroo," Kenma looked up at Kuroo with pleading eyes, so Kuroo chose to accept Kenma's wishes. "I never actually told you why I was apologizing, or why I was thanking you at the same time."

Kuroo felt calmer at how much Kenma was opening up to him, even after how much he had ignored Kuroo over the past few weeks.

"I know I'm not normally the most open person, and I promise that I'm trying to get better," Kenma's breaths were shaky as tears began to drip down his cheeks. "But I'm sorry for not being able to show my emotions and affection towards you as you can to me. I don't deserve your care, Kuroo. Not when I could barely thank you for simply staying up with me when I was studying for exams. And then I got mad at you because of one time you hadn't told me where you were? Please forgive me," he finished with a whisper.

Kenma was quickly wiping his tears off his face, not wanting to show any form of weakness in front of the person that had always been so strong for him.

But Kuroo was crying as well.

"Kenma, I show you all of this care because of how much I love you. God, you make my life worth living. If anything worse would have happened to you in that crash, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself," The two were both sobbing, their words slurred and their breaths uneven. "I would have found a way to blame it on myself. Some way to convince myself that I hadn't kept you as safe as I could have. Please forgive me, Kenma. For everything I said."

Kuroo was choking on his own words. His vision was blurry from tears, and he felt the steam grow larger as he felt Kenma slowly connect their pinky fingers.

Slowly entwining each finger within his, until their hands were completely twisted tightly together.

Kuroo used his free hand in an attempt to wipe the tears from his eyes. But he soon gave up the effort when Kenma's small arms wrapped around his waist. Kenma buried his face in Kuroo's chest as he sobbed. Kuroo rested his head on Kenma's shoulder, both of them allowing the sobs to overtake their shaking bodies, tired from hiding.

Tired of ignorance.

Tired from pretending.

Tired from hurting.

Kuroo pulled Kenma closer to his chest, wrapping one arm tightly around Kenma's back, and letting the other one tangle itself in Kenma's bleached locks of hair.

Kenma began mumbling more and more apologies into the cotton of Kuroo's shirt, but Kuroo just continued to run his hands through Kenma's hair trying to calm him down.

Kuroo wasn't upset. He never was.

He never could be.

As long as Kenma was alive, and by his side, nothing that Kenma could do would make him truly angry.

Kuroo pulled away as Kenma went into a coughing fit from the crying. Kuroo gave him a second to reset himself before cupping Kenma's face in his hands, bringing their foreheads together.

"I love you, Kenma," Kuroo whispered after a moment. "More than words can explain. And nothing you could do would ever change that."

Kenma pulled his head away and looked up at Kuroo with wide eyes. The amber color looked radiant from Kuroo's view when it was met with the lights from the city and the rain reflecting off of every surface.

Kenma opened his mouth to say something, but closed it, having a better idea.

Something that spoke every word that Kenma couldn't phrase.

Kenma stood on his toes and gently pressed a kiss to Kuroo's lips.

It was a short kiss, yet it said more than imaginable to either. Kuroo could taste the salt from Kenma's tears on his lips, but he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

When Kenma pulled away, Kuroo hadn't had enough. He wanted that feeling to be everlasting.

This time, Kuroo wrapped his hands around the back of Kenma's neck, pulling him forward until their lips crashed together again.

Kuroo could feel his heart racing. His cheeks heated up.

God, Kuroo had dreamed of kissing Kenma like this. And every time he almost had, he chickened out, scared of rejection. Scared of overwhelming Kenma.

"I love you, Kuro," Kenma whispered against Kuroo's lips, panting. Both of them had forgotten to breathe.

Kuroo pressed a soft kiss against Kenma's forehead before pulling him into another hug.

"C'mon, let's go inside. It's getting wet out here," Kenma nodded as Kuroo pulled out of the hug and placed an arm around Kenma's shoulder. Kuroo led him inside before closing the sliding door.

Kenma was already sitting on the couch, waiting for Kuroo to join him. When Kuroo turned to face him, he was patting the spot on the sectional next to him.

Kuroo walked over and plopped himself down. Kenma swung both legs over Kuroo's lap and rested his head in the space between Kuroo's head and shoulder.

Kuroo looked down at Kenma's legs. He was wearing shorts, so the scars on his knees and shins were prominent. Kuroo took a finger and traced the scars on both legs.

A reminder that Kenma was alive and with him.

A reminder they were together.

Kuroo picked up the remote sitting next to him on the couch. "Do you want to watch anything?"

Kenma shook his head. Kuroo nodded and wrapped one arm around Kenma's shoulders, and the other around the outside of Kenma's outer thigh. Kuroo propped his legs up on the coffee table in front of them.

Kenma cuddled closer to his chest, and Kuroo closed
his eyes.

He sighed, the feeling of relaxation washing over him.

That night, Kenma slowly fell asleep in Kuroo's arms.

No more tension.

No more hurt.

Just them, being sung to sleep by the whimsical sounds of rain on the windows.