Amile The Queen

Chapter Twenty-Nine

***Amile Gumede***

It took everything in me not to cry in front of the husband when we left Glenwood. I officially am part of the women who are called imbokodo. Give me my flowers while I’m still alive people.
We have arrived in Durban North and I really am not looking forward to seeing Mandlenkosi. In fact, I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that I have to live with him. I have to see him 24/7 for the next 3 months. Traumatic if you ask me.
I have to act like I don’t know this place so I’m walking right next to the husband. When we get in the elevator, he holds my hand. I look at our hands intertwined and I actually don’t feel anything. It doesn’t bother me. I look right ahead and when we get to the floor the first thing I see is his face.
He’s holding helium balloons and they have welcome. There are also roses on the table behind him. Oh this is what it is, we are pretending.
They greet each other in a brotherly hug before he came to greet me.
“Sawbona MaGumede.”
“Sawbona bhuti.” That was the hardest thing I’ve ever said.
He offered to shake my hand. I couldn’t even lock eyes with him.
The last time we saw each other, he made me cry and feel like shit.
“Welcome to your temporary home, I hope you like it.” I can’t believe I have to be civil with him even when I wish I could rip his head off.
“Thank you.” My voice broke.
“Ndabezitha will you be spending the night?” he asks. 
“Yes, tomorrow we are going to fetch the transfer card.” He nodded.
I wonder where Jama is. And where are all these people going to sleep, there are only four bedrooms in this apartment.
He gave me the roses and he offered to show me to my bedroom. He was leading me us upstairs. There is only one room upstairs and it’s only his room. Oh no don’t tell me.
“Thank you Mageba.” The husband thanked.
He must be feeling like shit, leaving us in his room. The fact that his brother is going to sleep with me in his bed, traumatizing. We could’ve just booked a hotel, he is moneyed.
“I have no doubt that you will settle in quickly.” I looked around the room.
Yeah, it still looks exactly the same. I’m sitting on the same bed that he failed to make me a woman on.
“The house is beautiful my king.”
Maybe I should tell him about the dreams as soon as possible. Today maybe.
He picked up a photo frame that was on the dresser and it is that picture of their mother that I found in the bathroom. He walked to where I was sitting and he sat next to me.
“This is our mother. She died when I was 26, Nkosi was 11.” Shocking.
That means he is 43 years old. We have a 26 year age gap. She actually died on the year I was born.
“She was beautiful.” He nodded.
“She was. I see her when I look at you.” He looked up from the picture and he looked at me.
Jama also told me the same thing once, and I didn’t believe him.
“Is that why you choose me at the Reed dance.” I drew up the courage to ask.
“Yes.”
That is not something I was expecting. Maybe mom was right when she said I might have a bigger purpose to fulfil in the royal family.
“We wanted to have a welcome ceremony for you before you started exams, but the royal seer advised us against it, saying it was too soon after the wedding. But after you finish your exams, we’ll slaughter a goat and thank the ancestors.” That’s sweet.
Why is he being so open and honest?
“I want to see you happy MaGumede, I don’t want to see you cry because then I would have not fulfilled my duty as your husband, and that is to protect you and take care of you.”
“It’s going to take some time to adjust Bayede, it’s not an easy transition.” He nods.
“I know wakwami.”
I definitely don’t see myself falling in love with him. I know I will never love him like I love Nkosi, but I will learn to live with him, and appreciate all that he does for me.
“What plans do you have for next year? Have you applied anywhere?”
“I had applied to the university of Cape Town and Free State, both accepted me provisionally but they are waiting for my matric results.” Do I see myself continuing with my studies? No, there is a low chance I will.
“You are going to move so far?” he’s open to the idea?
“No my King, I’m rethinking some things.”
“Like what?” he looked at me.
“Furthering my education. I don’t think I want to go anymore.”
“That is a very serious decision to make MaGumede, are you sure?”
“I don’t know my King, I still need to think about it.” So I’m guessing he wants me to continue my studies.
“Let me go get our bags so you can freshen up.” I stood up.
I walked out the room and made my way down the stairs. Mandlenkosi was sitting in the kitchen and it looked like he was lost in thought.
“Bhuti.” He looked at me like he was ready to send me to my grave.
“Is he upstairs?” I ignored him.
“I’m looking for Bab’ Mgabadeli, I need my husband’s bags.”
“Stop pretending Amile, stop what you are doing.” He lowers his voice.
“Have you seen him?” This one thinks I’m joking.
“Are you going to have sex with him in my bed Amile?” my heart literally sank. He’s making it hard for me to ignore him.
“Nkosi…”
“Are you?”
“I can’t guarantee that, if he wants it, I’ll give it to him. Now tell me where I can find Bab’ Mgabadeli. I need my husband’s bags.” He pushed me, he gave me no choice.
He is responsible for the pain written on his face, and I have absolutely nothing I can do about it.
He pointed me to the keys of the kitchen counter and I’m guessing that means I have to carry all those bags by myself. I went down to the basement and I only took my cosmetic bag, his bags and my pyjamas.
When I went back up, he wasn’t in the kitchen anymore, in fact, the house was clear. I went straight up to the room and I found the husband talking on the phone. It’s quite evident who he is speaking to. His voice is much more hushed, its softer and gentler when he speaks to her. He loves her, it is no secret. Just like I will never love him like I love Nkosi, he will never love me like he loves her.
He reports that he has to go and that he arrived safely. He bids her a good night and closes it off with an ‘I love you’
I feel bad for having to cut his calls short.
“Thank you MaGumede.” He said when he turned back to look at me.
Nkosi had all the closets cleared out and they are empty. I won’t put the husband clothes and things in there because he is only leaving tomorrow but I need to start unpacking. I came with most of my things here and now I realize that I shouldn’t have.
He goes off to shower after I’ve prepared his things for him. I place the rest of his toiletries on top of the bedside table so he can use them when he comes back. I open the drawers to check if they are cleared out and they are, but there is a picture facing downwards.
When I turn it around, it’s a picture of Nkosi and I. I don’t remember this picture, but when I look at it, it looks like the day where we went to the movies during the holidays. We were supposed to be studying that day but we were both lazy and we decided to ditch the books and go watch a movie. It was his idea, he felt confident that I was ready for my exam and I needed a break, and that was the break he gave me. This was probably taken on his phone, that’s why it looks so perfect.
I was happy here. It’s hard to believe that it was just a few months ago. It seems like it’s been years since I’ve smiled and laughed like that. The husband can’t see this, so I shove it at the bottom of my handbag and place it in the wardrobe. I pull myself together and wipe my tears before he comes out the bathroom.
^
^
^
We didn’t have sex in his bed. I think he was just exhausted as I was, that’s why I slept through the night, even with him snoring out loud. That’s one of the reasons I don’t like sleeping with him. He snores, he snores like an asthmatic person.
I woke up earlier than I normally do, and I felt fresh. I took a long shower and when I came out, he was still sleeping, snoring at that. I left him and went downstairs, I wanted to make breakfast.
The television is on downstairs and there are bottles of beer on the table. I walked closer, and there he was, passed our on the couch, his mouth wide open and drool gracing the side of his face. He’s definitely drunk.
I shake him and he gets a fright. He smiles when he sees my face.
“How much did you have to drink last night.” He laughs out loudly.
“Why do you care?” I slapped his arm.
“Shh! People are sleeping.” He gave a loud belly laugh.
“Usaba indoda yakho hee?” his slanted eyes are looking like slits and they are bloody.
“Go sleep in your room.” He scoffed.
“Which one, the one you had sex in last night, huh. Is that what you did Amile, you had sex in my bed?” okay, he’s still very drunk.
“Come.” I pulled him up.
I’m glad he didn’t fight me, but he’s fucking heavy! I can’t carry him. I don’t even know where he’s sleeping. To make it all worse, he’s crying. Now I’m here trying to drag a drunk grown man because his heart it broken. This is not what I signed up for.
“I apologized, why can’t you just forgive me Amile? Why are you crucifying me for not being in control of my life. I has to do it. I had to let him have you.” They say drunk men have all the facts.
Maybe I’ll find the answers I’m looking for.
“I love you.” It’s very hard for me to hear all the other things he’s saying because he’s crying.
As I drag him to his room, Jama opens his door and he looks like he just woke.
“So much noise.”
He saw that I was carrying him and he came to help me.
“All of you leave me alone.” I fear alcohol and the things they do to people.
He tries to fight with Jama but he’s obviously weak because he’s not in the right state of mind. We take him to the therapy room and put him on the bed. I’m huffing and puffing. What a workout.
“I’m sorry you have to see him like this.” Jama apologized.
“How often is he like this?” I ask taking off his shoes for him.
“Almost every week.” I feel terrible.
And what does he mean he didn’t have a choice?
I left the room before the husband woke up, Mandlenkosi was causing a big ruckus that could’ve waken up the whole house and it’s not even 07:00 in the morning yet.
I found my way to the kitchen and started by preparing porridge, Mandlenkosi is going to need it when he wakes up. I haven’t had porridge in a while, they don’t serve it at the palace.
Sis’ Melo woke up just as I was fixing the husband’s bowl of porridge and she actually felt bad.
“It’s really fine, we were all tired. And I just woke up early.” I reassured.
“It won’t happen again my queen.” She bowed.
She doesn’t want to get rid of this habit. I leave her and take the porridge upstairs.
It seems like he just woke up because he’s still stretching.
“Good morning Bayede.” I kneel in front of him and hand him his tray.
“Good morning wakwami.” I stand up.
He takes the swab and wipes his hands and looks at his porridge devouringly.
“Thank you MaGumede, I don’t remember the last time I had porridge.” He’s smiling like a little boy.
“You are welcome Bayede.”
I start opening the windows and curtains, letting the sun shine through and the fresh air grace the room. Today is such a beautiful day.
He seems to be enjoying it. It’s literally just porridge, why is he enjoying it so much?
“Have you eaten yet?” he asks me.
“Not yet my king.”
“I like Bayede better.” I blushed and looked away.
“When you call me like that MaGumede, my heart races.” Is he courting.
I giggled.
“Come here.” He places the tray on the bedside table and pats his lap.
I walked to him and sit on his lap.
“Feel it here.” He places my little hand on his chest and his heart is beating quite fast. I looked at him.
“That is what happens when you call me Bayede.” I giggled again.
“If I continue then you are going to have a heart attack.” He laughed.
“Then I’d die a happy man.” I can’t believe we are flirting.
I can feel his thing growing under me and that means only one thing. He looks at me in the eyes and I look down from embarrassment.
“Ongipha kancane wakwami.” He sneaks his hand under my dress and touches my mound over the lace material.
I swallowed hard. He starts kissing my neck, biting it softly. His other hand is rubbing me down there and I can’t help but moan out lowly.
He lays me on the bed and takes off my underwear and stares at my palace like he’s ready to tear it apart. His eyes are getting smaller and he’s growing harder. He helps me remove my cardigan and dress and marvels at the sight of my breasts.
He doesn’t kiss my mouth, he only did it once and it was the most passionate kiss I’ve ever had. He just kisses the crevice of my neck and plays with my nipples in between his fingers. I hate being kissed on the neck, but I can’t tell him that so I let him be.
He takes of his pyjamas and he steadily positions himself at my entrance. I’m slowly getting used to the fact that this is my life and I have to feed him when he wants. He paid for it anyways!
He slides in and I gasp when I feel his whole length inside of me. Our eyes lock for the first time and he starts to move slowly on top of me. My moans get louder and louder with ever quickening stroke he serves.
Mandlenkosi will have to forgive me, but having sex with my husband is not a sin.



***Nambitha Makhathini***

I’m afraid to come out my room. Mom woke up early today and she’s in the kitchen, the same place I have to be in to prepare my lunch for school. If I don’t come out, I’ll be late.
I don’t know how to face her. She didn’t say anything last night after she saw me coming out of Nkululeko’s car. She only said I must go inside. I don’t even know if she got her parcel or not. I messed up big time.
I open the door and walk to the kitchen. I greet her but she doesn’t reply. This is the same woman who was in my room saying she’s worried that I’m not living my life enough, why is she shocked?
“I’m sorry mom.” I apologized in a hushed tone. I don’t want dad to hear.
“Nyori wani Nambitha?” I cleared my throat in embarrassment.
“I’m sorry for disrespecting you mama.”
“Is there something in dating your age mates? What’s wrong with them?” I kept quiet.
“You also want to fall pregnant and dump your children here after he leaves you? Didn’t you learn your lesson from your sisters?”
“Ma I didn’t do anything with him.” I defend.
“Yes, you didn’t do anything now, but he’s a man, he knows what this thing tastes like, he will want it. After he has gotten it, he will leave you.” She touches my mound over my uniform.
That is an African mother for you, everything on your body is theirs.
“I’m not stupid mom, I know how boys operate.” She almost gave me a backhand slap, but I ducked.
“You are talking back now?” I kept quiet.
“Hlukana nalomfana Nambitha, because if you fall pregnant, I will disown you.” (Break up with this boy.)
I know she means it. Why did it have to be with my first boyfriend?