Amile The Queen

Chapter Ninety-Three

***Amile Gumede***

It’s Christmas Eve, the day Zwelibanzi Zulu was born. In exactly two days, it will mark one year after he passed away.
I still remember that day vividly like it was just yesterday. Baba left early in the morning. I don’t know where he went, but I’m assuming he went to visit his brother’s grave.
I’m so tired today, I don’t even feel like getting out of bed. I’m sitting on my phone chatting to Khaya, and scrolling through social media. My life is currently boring, so I’m entertaining myself with other people’s problems.
I promised the boys to decorate the Christmas tree with them. The first thing they pointed out when they came back from school was that there was no Christmas decorations anywhere at the palace.
I didn’t even care about that, I’m too pregnant to want to do anything, especially worrying about Christmas and all those other things. I left it in Lerato’s hands.
They said there is no Christmas spirit, and that they want decorate the palace so it can feel a lot more like a holiday. They forget that this is not a movie, but I’d do anything to make my boys happy.
So they’ve been working on that the whole week, the whole place is covered in Christmas lights, Khaya was the one running around buying everything for them. I feel bad for him sometimes.
“Usalele mbhemu.” that’s the king of Zululand.
It’s only 10 in the morning. It’s still early, it’s not like I have somewhere important to be.
“I don’t feel like getting out of bed.” he’s stripping his clothes.
“It’s cold outside.” he says jumping into the bed, making me cold in the process.
“I thought Christmas in Kwa-Zulu Natal was in summer.” he chuckles.
“That’s what I thought too.” his body is so cold.
“You are going to get a cold baba, where were you?”
“I took Hallelujah and Mgcini to Zwelibanzi’s grave.” I thought as much.
“How are they doing?” he sighs.
“They are okay I guess. They just miss him.”
Silence graced the room. I want to ask about the elephant in the room, but I don’t want to fight with him, but I want to know.
“And Vukani?” he clears his throat.
See, he makes it hard for me to talk about this. He just doesn’t want to talk about it at all. He can’t avoid reality forever.
“He didn’t go with you guys?” I ask again. If I could turn around and face him, I could, but I’m too fat now.
“No he didn’t.” he’s done talking about it, if I ask again, he’s going to snap at me.
I continue scrolling through my phone, if he doesn’t want to talk, I can also keep quiet.
“Are you mad at me now?” he asks after some silence.
“No, I’m not mad baba, what makes you think I’m mad?” oh I’m mad.
He has ruined my day already, and it doesn’t take a lot to ruin my day.
“Since when do we touch phones in our bed?” I roll my eyes.
I’m taking advantage of the fact that he can’t see me.
“I saw you MaGumede.” whatever I don’t care.
I switched off the phone and put it on the pedestal. He has my attention.
“Didn’t you promise to help the boys decorate the Christmas tree?”
“I did, but I’m tired.” I hate breaking promises.
“It’s fine, I’ll do it with them.” he says and wraps his arms around me.
“Thank you.” I said and bit my lip.
“How are we feeling today?” he asks rubbing my stomach.
“We are feeling irritable.” I say moving his hand from my stomach.
“Okay.” he gets out of bed.
Uyangiduba? Really?
“I think you should just sit here by yourself today.” I think we are too old to be throwing tantrums.
“No one wants to sit around a sour prune on Christmas Eve.” he mumbles loud enough for me to hear him.
“I’m a sour prune?” that hurts my feelings quicker than I can blink.
“You are being difficult for no reason Amile. Your moods are up and down all of a sudden, what’s going on?”
“This is not a decoration baba, I have a human being growing inside of me. I’m sorry if I can’t control how my emotions work.” I wipe my tears.
I don’t like crying in front of him.
“I thought we could do something nice today as a family, but you clearly are not in the mood so I’ll cancel.” now I feel bad.
He’s good at emotional blackmail, that I can give to him.
“Don’t cancel baba I’m sorry. I’ll work on my mood.” he drags me through his teeth before he picks his jacket and leaves.
That hurt me, it hurt me so much.
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After I finished crying and put my pride and attitude aside, I went to take a shower so I could join them in the family activities that he planned for us.
Just when I was getting dressed, he came into the room.
“How did you moisturize you feet?” he knows that he does that for me because I can’t do that myself.
I didn’t moisturize them because I was too afraid to call him. It’s not the pride, I was just afraid.
“I didn’t moisturize them baba.” I say looking down.
I’m ashamed of myself. That’s kaMhlaba for you, he will make you feel ashamed of your actions.
“Sit down.” he commands.
I don’t think twice, I go sit on my chair and he sits on the foot stool like he always does, and places my short legs on his thighs. He does my whole leg instead of just the foot. This is why I love this man.
“Thank you baba.” I mumble.
“Why are your feet so swollen today?” I’m nine months pregnant, I could give birth any day from today.
“I don’t know, but they aren’t sore.” he looks worried.
“You don’t have to come downstairs, I can always cancel everything.” I didn’t even have to do anything but be pregnant for him to feel remorseful.
He didn’t want to listen to me when I told him I’m tired, but he listens now when he sees that my feet are swollen.
“No, baba, I’m fine, I can come down for a while. I don’t want to spoil the mood.” I gave him a small smile.
I’m also good at emotional blackmail. We are tied!
He’s done doing my legs.
“I’ll be down in a second.” he kisses my forehead before he goes out.
He does that when he feels guilty. He’s out the door before I can even blink.
I finish up and make my way downstairs. The smell of freshly baked cookies has my mouth watering as I make my way downstairs.
There are my favourite people, my boys. They are all gathered in the lounge in front of the tree. They are talking and laughing as they sort out the Christmas decorations. They look so happy, it warms my heart.
“Mamizana, look baba is almost as tall as the Christmas tree.” that’s what Halle calls me.
He looks so content.
“I can see!” I say going to settle on the closest couch to them.
They moved around the whole lounge so they could put everything on the floor. they’ve been down here for almost an hour, the tree is still empty, what have they been doing this whole time.
“You haven’t started decorating yet?” I ask picking up a box of decorations.
“We were waiting for you.” Mgcini says and rushes to me.
“Okay, these go at the top, so you are going to give them to baba and he will hang them for you.” I say handing him the decorations.
He looks so excited. I can’t help but feel content.
“You can take that box and do the bottom of the tree.” I instruct.
“One day, I’m going to grow tall like baba and I’ll also decorate the top of the tree.” Mgcini says jumping up and down.
“Yes my boy, you will, if you eat all your veggies, you will grow to be as tall as baba.”
“Bhuti come help baba decorate the top of the tree.” Halle runs to Vukani who has just waltzed into the house.
I see baba’s body tensing up. Vukani didn’t even look like he was planning on greeting us, he was just going to walk past us like we are invisible.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t give two fucks about Vukani and his stinking attitude. He made it clear to me that he hates me, and he doesn’t want me in his business, so I’m steering far from him, as per his request.
“Halle I’m too old to be decorating trees.” he says with zero enthusiasm in his voice.
I don’t even want to look at him, I know it’s a jab at me.
“But today is dad’s birthday, and he loved Christmas.” silence graces the room.
KaMhlaba finally decided to turn and look at the both of them. I also turn, and when I look at Vukani, he’s staring directly at baba.
“Come on son.” he smiles at him.
My heart falls into the pit of my stomach.
“Please bhuti.” Halle begs.
He agrees and he drops his bags on one of the chairs and goes to stand next to baba.
“How was work today?” he asks his son.
“It was fine.” that’s all he says before he continues doing what he’s been asked to do in silence.
“Mamizana are we still doing it right?” Mgcini asks showing me his side.
“It’s beautiful my boy.” I give him a wide smile.
Vukani shoots me a death stare. I would gladly return it, but I have to be the adult in this situation, so I won’t bother myself.
The boys start singing a Christmas song to entertain themselves, and I can’t help but join them. I’m enjoying this wholesome moment, a moment with family, where we are all just happy.
By all I mean us excluding Vukani because we don’t know how he’s feeling.
It feels like I’m in a Christmas movie.
“Bhuti why aren’t you singing?” he looks unwilling when his little brother calls him out, but he joins in, singing in a low voice.
My daughter starts kicking. I rub my stomach.
“Come and feel here.” I call them.
It’s a battle between Mgcini and Halle of who is going to get to me first, they almost trip over each other, causing me to laugh.
“Be careful.” I warn.
They both put their hands on my stomach and feel the baby moving.
“Oh my gosh that is so cool!” they both marvel.
“She’s happy to hear her brothers, right baby?” I say rubbing my side.
She kicks even harder. The fascination on their faces is beautiful.
“It’s a girl?” Halle asks.
“Yes, that’s what the doctor said.” I reply.
“I’m going to protect her and make sure that no one ever hurts my sister.” he says.
My heart melts.
“Me too! I’m always going to hit anyone who wants to hurt my sister.” Mgcini chimes in as well.
I don’t want to cry! 
“Okay, it’s my turn now.” I look up and I see Vukani kneeling in front of me.
He also places his hand on my stomach, much to my surprise.
The hypocrite child kicks even harder. He doesn’t like us, why are you kicking for him?
Right, amagazi ayatshelana.
Baba is just standing there snapping pictures, I’m sure this makes him so happy, because it really makes me happy too.
He receives a phone call just as we are still roped up in the little baby in my stomach.
“Our family activity is ready. Can we go now?” I didn’t know it required us to be outside the house.
“Wait, can I go change?” I ask.
“No, no time to change. Just get something warm. Boys go get your jackets, it’s cold outside.”
I’m literally not wearing underwear and I have on my stay at home dress.
“Vukani are you coming with us?” maybe he shouldn’t have given him a choice. He knows he’s going to say no.
“Yes, I don’t mind.” someone pinch me I’m dreaming.
There is no way I’m going to go out looking like this though.
“Baba I need to go and change.” I say attempting to get up from the chair.
The boys lend me a hand.
“MaGumede you are fine, you don’t need to change.” he doesn’t know fine.
First of all he’s wearing one of his expensive jeans, and he’s telling me not to change.
And Vukani is in a overall, he can’t go dressed like that.
“I’m going to change.” I waddle out the room.
He looks defeated. Good!
When I get to the room, the first thing I pull out is my underwear drawer and place them all on the bed.
I don’t even think they fit me anymore, I don’t bother putting it on at all. I leave them there and go to the wardrobe and pull out a light blue dress with long sleeves. It’s the closest thing to warm I have in my wardrobe that still fits me.
“Yabonake, usenza kancane.” he says walking into the bedroom.
“Baba, I just got here.” he forgets that I don’t have long legs like him.
Two steps and he’s here. Those two steps of his are equivalent to at least 20 steps of mine.
“Hurry up mkami.” I take off the hideous dress I had on and threw it in the washing basket.
“Liphi ipenty?” I frown at him.
He’s wearing a smirk. It’s really not funny hey.
“They don’t fit me, baba.” he laughs and takes the dress in my hand.
He tells me to lift my arms and he helps me put it on.
“It’s okay my love, you can go without it.” he places his hand on my honeypot before he lowers the dress.
“Please behave Mageba.” I’m wearing a light dress with no underwear.
One mistake, I’ll walk around with a map on my ass.
He teases my skittles, and I can’t help but draw in a sharp breath. He finds my lips and kisses me softly, not forgetting to make use of his hands. I hold onto his biceps and moan in his mouth.
“Is that good?” he asks making me wetter.
“Don’t stop.” I beg.
He does the complete opposite and breaks the kiss. Now I’m wet.
He passes me a white thong from the bed. I give him an unsatisfied look.
“I think you’ll need this now.” he’s smirking at me.
Is there a place where we can see husbands. I need a new one!
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Halle and Mgcini are so excited. I thought what I saw this morning when they were doing the tree was excitement, I was absolutely just seeing the starters.
Baba organized a family photo shoot for us. Well, knowing baba, I know it’s not entirely him.
The outfit changes, the venue, the photographer, it all screams Khaya, and I’m here for it.
The boys are happy about their outfits, Khaya went wild on this one, he bought them matching Christmas pajamas, and accessories that have them running around, and clothes to last them the whole holiday. Vukani included, although he refused to put on the pajamas because he said they look stupid.
It’s funny because baba said the exact same thing. They really know how to ruin a family picture, so they didn’t become a part of it, it was just my boys and I.
Seeing Vukani laughing and smiling was refreshing too, and this is what I know Christmas to be about, bringing family together.
I’m sure this is what Banzi would have wanted for his children, to be happy on his special day.
We also got a couple of themed family photo’s. I definitely know the ones I want to have enlarged and placed in the lounge.
We are now sitting in the car waiting for him to come back.
“Boys, when baba comes back, we need to say thank you to him for taking us out today right.” I say.
“Of course Mamizana.” Halle.
“Did you guys have fun?”
“Yes, we had so much fun!” they say in unison.
Vukani is quiet as usual. It doesn’t bother me anymore.
“You aren’t going to ask me.” he speaks.
I’m shocked, but I compose myself. I don’t want him to think I’m afraid of it, I can’t give him that satisfaction.
“I know you had fun.” I say taking a glimpse of him.
He turns red instantly. He looks like he’s about to burst.
Good!
I see kaMhlaba approaching.
“Baba is coming, in one, two three…” the door opens
“Thank you for today baba! We had fun.” the three of us said in unison.
It wasn’t the smoothest, but I’m sure he heard us.
He laughed and climbed into his seat and kissed my forehead, then my lips before he fist bumped his children. They are his children too.
“You are welcome, and I’m happy if you had fun.”
Mgabadeli starts the car and we are off.
I put my head on his shoulder.
“Thank you.” I needed today.
He kissed my forehead. I still love him, even though he gets on my last nerve sometimes.