Harem of Side Characters [Rewrite]

Event - Hellfire

"Oh? Do my eyes deceive me, or has the Lord of Calamity finally graced us with his presence on this deadly night?" On the way back to my room, I seem to have encountered the usual Class C group.

"Hello, Ayanokouji." Yabu gives me a friendly wave.

"H-hi..." Morofuji stutters.

"Hmph." Manabe just scoffs at me.

"Hello to you all. What's with the nickname you gave me, Saki?" I greet them back.

"It is not a nickname, Sir. It is a title, one befitting someone of your stature! Lord of Calamity! Isn't it cool!?" Saki excitedly says with stars in her eyes.

"It just sounds goofy to me..." Manabe mumbles.

"Urk...Too...too blunt! It struck me... right to my very heart..." Saki doubles over in... pain? I'm a bit confused here.

"Uh, should I get help?" I offer.

"It's just a flesh wound. She'll be fine." Yabu waves it off.

"Tis not just a flesh wound...Remember me well, friends..." Saki coughs out.

"Shiho! Can't you see you're killing the poor girl?" Yabu reprimands.

"Who would have known that Shiho could be so deeply cruel..."

"What? That and the Queen of Hatred or whatever title she gave me aren't exactly the most creative things."

"AAAAAAAAAHCK!" Saki collapses and dies. The end.

"...So what are you all doing here instead of eating dinner in one of the restaurants?" I ask them.

"We're actually going to cook ourselves. Saki suggested it, and I've always wanted to try cooking so I agreed. If mine turns out to be bad, we can always just eat Saki's dish...Wait, Saki you are able to cook, right?" Yabu turns to her companion who is still face down on the floor.

"Of course! I have binge watched all the episodes in every season of Shokugeki no Soma seven times over, I'm practically a master chef at this point!" Well she certainly bounced back up rather quickly.

"...I suddenly feel very worried. Ayanokouji, do you have any cooking expertise? If you do, can you help us? Please?" Stop it, don't look at me with those pleading eyes. I am strong-willed and cannot be swayed by-

"Sure." ...Damn it.

-----

"...So, uh...What do I do now?" Yabu and Morofuji stood in front of a table with a wide array of ingredients.

"Well first of all, you need to decide what you're going to make. But more importantly, are you sure its wise to let Saki team up with Manabe?" My eyes wander to the two girls on the other side of the table, preparing their own meal.

"Remind me why I am the one doing the damn work when YOU suggested this in the first place!? I don't even know how to cook!" For some reason, Manabe swinging a knife around makes me feel very uneasy.

"Because my arms are far too weak and my body far too frail to execute such strenuous tasks. But fear not, Queen of Hatred! Under my tutelage we shall create a dish that can pierce the heavens! Here, I shall show you the legendary technique used by my ancient ancestors in order to perfectly cut vegetables. Watch closely as I perform...TSUBAME GAESHI! HIYAAAAA!" If I thought Manabe with a knife made me uneasy, Saki with a knife is much, much worse.

"Oh nonsense. I think it's going pretty well!" Yabu comments. Morofuji giggles at the sight.

"Back to the topic at hand, I think we could probably make seafood omurice with these ingredients..." She says as she scans over what they brought back to the room.