Why Why Why

Chapter 2

Everyone starts leaving. I head to the door when I see the new girl come bounding towards me.

"Hey, I'm Jane, what's your name?"

"Sorry I have to go. I appreciate what you did in class," I say walking away. I didn't want to make friends with this new girl. I just wanted to be left alone, with no one to care about me. I just wanted my end to come. I check my timetable, English. Good no-one would disturb me. I walk into the class and find that there are no seats available, the only one next to Jane. The voice in my head urges me to go sit next to her, make new friends but I ignore that voice and walk out of the classroom. I'm going to skip.

Walking out the school, I hear someone yelling out to me. I ignore the voice and keep on walking. The desperateness of the voice makes me turn around. I see her, again.

"Go away," I yell.

She looks shocked and runs up to me. "You okay?"

"Yes," I say aggressively. "Just go away okay?"

Jane opens her mouth to say something, but no words come out.

"Just go," I say.

She shuts her mouth, nods her head and walks away.

I need a break, I need to stop. I need it to stop. Why? Why do I need to live? I keep on asking myself the same question over and over again. Why?

I glance back and see her standing at the front door looking at me.

"What do you want?" I yell.

"I just want to be your friend. I can see your hurt," she says worriedly.

"Well I don't want you to be my friend. I don't want to have any friends," I say viciously.

I run to the staff carpark and hide behind the old birch tree, my only safe place. I sit down and start hyperventilating. Everything just crashes from how the bullies treated me in primary school to now. Life is shit. I just want to end it all. 

I sit like this for an hour until I hear the bell ring for recess. I stand up and run to the bathroom. Lucky there was no one in here. Locking myself in the stall I reach for my blade in my pocket. 

Worthless

Cut

Burden

Cut

Useless

Cut

A mistake

Cut

The pain feels so numbing. I can escape the pain I feel. I keep cutting until my arm has no more room. Blood spills onto the floor as I run to the sink to wash the cuts. Grabbing a bandage from my bag I previously brought in, I wrap it around my arm. Hearing the bell ring indicating the end of recess I gather my thoughts and walk out like nothing happened.