I Hate You More

Three Weeks

Harlen

My body jolted me back into consciousness. I hadn't gotten more than an hour of sleep in over two years, and at this point, I was over it. I looked at the clock and mentally groaned at it being 5:15 in the morning. I had to be at the station around eight so I figured I could just take my time getting ready, and rolled out of bed. The hot water running from the shower, stung my cuts and bruises but, only the few that were still in the early stages of being healed. I sang along to the song playing through my speaker.

Breaking my back just to know your name
Seventeen tracks and I've had it with this game
I'm breaking my back just to know your name
But heaven ain't close in a place like this
Anything goes but don't blink, you might miss
Cause heaven ain't close in a place like this

By time that song, and about ten others had played through, I was climbing out of the shower and wrapping a towel around my body. I put some hair oil and leave in conditioner in my hair and detangled it before styling it, and getting dressed.

"You know you should sing more often."

My heart dropped at the voice, and I spun around instantly to be met with Remington's face, "You scared the shit out of me you ass! What are you doing here?"

I walked past him and down the stairs to throw my towel and pajamas in Renee's washing machine.

"I was gonna go with you to the station," He shrugged, "figured you wouldn't want to go alone."

"I'll be fine," I climbed the stairs and noticed the look on his face, "but ok. Thank you."

Remington nodded with a small smile on his face.

"You want something for breakfast?"

"No," I grabbed a glass out of a cupboard in the kitchen and filled it with apple juice, "if I eat anything now, I'll throw up. Maybe we could get something after?"

"Sure."

Remington walked up behind me, wrapped his arms around me, and kissed the back of my head, "Are you nervous?"

I finished the juice, and sat the cup in the sink before turning around, letting his hands move on either side of the counter to keep me in front of him.

"A little," I tried to lie but, I cracked under his gaze, "ok a lot. I never really thought about the fact that I'd have to see him again, you know?"

"That makes sense. He put you through a lot."

I pulled myself into Remington and rested my head on his chest. Our height difference was big enough that he could rest his chin on top of my head.

"It's all gonna be ok," He kissed the top of my head, "he's gonna get what he deserves."

"But what if he doesn't?"

Remington pulled back, and tilted my head up so he could get a good look at me, "I won't let that happen."

"You can't control everything," I scoffed, "trust me I wish you could protect me from everything but, you can't."

"Well sure I can't," He scoffed, "but I sure as hell can try."

Without thinking I pushed myself up in my toes, and pecked his lips. Our kiss got more heated but, after a moment he pulled away and left his forehead resting on mine, "We should probably get going."

I nodded my head, and felt the confusion bubbling up inside of me. We obviously had yet to talk about the conversation we had the night we got back from touring and, I don't think anything was truly different. Except, now we kissed sometimes, and were more affectionate. Ok, so I had now idea what the hell was going on between us, and it was conflicting the hell out of me. I wanted to ask him but, there was so much going on, and I didn't want to add more to the whole thing.