Nepenthe

Philophobia

Entry 524

I couldn't quite understand how I could sit here for hours, and find myself back in that same deep thoughts that I had tried to get rid since I had realize I was slowly being charmed by you.

You can all call me a coward, but you see... There are things that I'm scared, one being not able to stay beside her. And, make her feel as if she's obligated to feel something for me just because I stupidly tripped on my way to her.

She'd probably would say, "Rosie posie, did it again." And, I did. I fell for her once again. This time, I'm not sure if I can get up.

I'm fine with keeping myself in this red line, I stupidly settled myself in if it meant to keep her. If this nothingness is all I could have, I'd take it in every heartbeat as long as it's her.

I know, she'll never get to read this, and I know, I'll never make her read it nor would I ever confess. But, I think I like you, my lovely daffodil. And, I'm slowly free falling into you, and I don't mind what may come at the end, it's the beauty of falling into you, and I think, it's beyond pretty.

You're pretty, my daffodil. 

As I was writing it down I was startled by a voice behind me.

"What are you thinking so deeply, my Rosie?" Jennie asked.

I already knew who it was so I  looked at her, a bit startled. And, swiftly turned my journal to page with an unfinished drawing. She chuckled softly, sitting down beside me, and laying her head on my shoulder.

 "Penny for your thoughts, my lovely flower?" she asked.

"It's nothing," I said, smiling softly. 

I want to tell you, but I can't, and I won't was what I thought glancing at her.

"I thought, you had a schedule, wifey?" I said, more of a question.

"I canceled it," 

"Why?"

"Rosie Time," She said it like it was such an obvious thing.

Oh, what am I gonna do with you, my lovely daffodil? I thought.

And, she was true to her words at that time, she spent the whole day with me. Ignoring all her notification blowing up.

So, tell me how can I not fall for her?

-

Wala, trip ko. Sawi ata aku, wala nafeel ko lang. Sisihin niyo ben en benahfdjkshfjkhsdjkf ayukuanjksfdjk ba't kasi yun pang playlist naclick, yan nagsenti momints aku.

goodnayt na nga. next time ko na talaga iuupdate yung on going,.... huhuhu sorry na, i'm just not in the right mood to write and think about it. Ang gulo ng utak ko.

Anyways, thanks for reading.

- Mandu