OPAL
• tw: mentions of blood
The early morning air fills with the smell of stale cigarette smoke as I use my left foot to push off the pavement, momentum propelling my skateboard quickly forward.
In my ears, the sound of Nirvana blares. I am angry, and everything reflects it.
It's too early for this shit but after being awoken at six in the morning by parents yelling that you're too lazy and you need to leave the fucking house, I did just that. I left. If I'm being honest, I almost don't want to go back.
With my backpack on my back, I begin to think I have almost everything I need. Except a house, and clothes. That is what will draw me back in the end just like it always does, what will put me right back into the loop of pissing off my parents for recognition when all my other siblings are apparently perfect in every way. Shelter and my immaculate style— I obviously have my priorities in check.
My fingers itch to hold a cigarette but I resist, staying true to my own no-smoking-before-noon pact. That's probably the one and only way I won't disappoint mom and dad, as if smoking at all doesn't already make them mad. Instead, I pop a cherry hard candy into my mouth and my taste buds are instantly coated in the medicinal taste. Ever since I first started smoking, I found the taste of synthetic cherry could satisfy my cravings nearly every time.
I'm not too sure where I'm actually going, identical scenery on all sides making my journey feel like eons, before I nearly slam into someone.
My skateboard slides into the hedges to the right of the sidewalk, sending me slamming hard on the sidewalk to the left. From my backpack, my water bottle makes an absurdly loud clunk when it hits the ground. The things I do to avoid slamming into people...
My knee retains a scrape that stings so bad I have to grit my teeth in order to prevent myself from yelling, my left hand earning a scrape from where I tried to catch myself but failed. After a few moments though, all the sting recedes. After that, I just feel drained.
Scrambling, I stuff one earbud back into my ear and hoist myself to my feet. It hurts to stand, but I do it anyway. The last thing I want is to show weakness in this situation.
"Shit. Are you okay?" The person asks.
I look up, meeting familiar blue eyes that struck me to my core not that long ago and have been haunting me ever since. Now, seeing them so close to me again, it almost feels unreal. If memories could have ghosts, this moment proved it.
"Hey, you're the girl from the party!" I don't know why I don't say her name, but maybe it's because that alone would give away the fact that her name has been on my mind for two days. Then again, saying it would help finally remove it from bouncing around in my brain, wouldn't it? "Actually in the flesh this time."
"Shut up!" She says, but I can tell there's a hint of a smile under her retort. "Where are you headed?"
"I don't know." I look down, inspecting my wounds (and really just looking everywhere but at her). "Just had to get out of the house."
Already, I feel like I've revealed too much. Without being specific, I've still been too specific somehow. My mysterious aura begins to crack in front of my eyes, and I feel my fight or flight kick in.
"You sure you're okay?" Liv's eyes flit to my knee, my hand, my elbow, finally to my eyes.
"Yep!" That sounds like a closing remark on my end, but I actually stay rooted in place. When you're born on the run it's difficult to stop, but here I am. I don't know what's changed.
Once more, my resolve is tested as the box of cigarettes sits heavy as a rock in my pocket. Once more, I force myself to decide against it. Once more, I push down all the bottled-up anger and pick up my skateboard.
As I do so, I see that my knee has begun to bleed. The blood drips down my leg, slowly making me look as if I've been in a horror movie. This is nothing new, so I don't even bother bandaging it up. Soon enough it will scab and then it's out of my hands anyway.
"You want a cherry candy?" I offer, attempting to make conversation and pulling one out of my pocket. I observe that it's cracked rather neatly into thirds.
"No thank you!" She hastily replies, lips pursing in what I interpret as mild disgust but could really be any myriad of things. "I despise cherry flavored anything. Real cherries are the only acceptable form of cherry." She speaks so confidently, as if this is a matter of fact.
"Fair." Suddenly, I have a jolt where it feels like my brain finally catches up to the situation. "Hey, what are you doing out so early?" I enunciate on the you, jutting a finger sharply in her direction. A small part of me feels like I'm overstepping fragile boundaries, but another part of me makes it feel like I've known her a lot longer than I actually have.
"Needed some fresh air, I guess."
I take note she makes vague answers, like me when I'm talking to my parents.
"At six in the morning?" I shoot back, sending glances in her direction every few seconds. Maybe we don't even have any boundaries, because I can't seem to find them.
"Well, when you have a headache and can't get back to sleep..." Her sentence trails off into the air, a seemingly inadequate ending which leaves me blinking in anticipation of a more that isn't coming. I suppose not everything can be wrapped up neatly and topped with a bow, though.
"Oh, sorry." I kick the scuffed toe of my shoe into the pavement. "Could you use some company?"
"Sure. But you're not like a serial killer, right? I've only seen you at a few parties and I haven't figured you out yet. I'd just rather not die."
"Maybe, maybe not." I shrug, reconstructing my walls. This sends Liv into a fit of laughter. I'm not quite sure why since death is in the picture, but I don't dare rob her of this moment. With the bags under her eyes, she looks like she could use a good laugh.
I'm sure I don't look much better, but I know I haven't laughed in quite a while.
After that passes, we set off down the sidewalk. We're going nowhere in particular, nor are we traveling quickly. We just pass neighborhood after neighborhood, house after house. Often, we are silent, the only noise I can hear being the music in my ear, but a word or two slips out of our mouths before disappearing into the air again. For once, I don't feel the desperate need to talk and fill the silence. I like it like this. The world feels calm; I feel calm.
Time slips by in our little bubble and all of a sudden, it's eight-thirty already
Cars are starting to pull out of driveways all around us, parents setting off for errands and taking their kids to appointments and whatnot.
"I guess I should get home now. My parents might wonder where I've been." Liv says, offering an awkward smile. I stare at her hands, look at the way she twists her fingers together when she talks just to avoid making eye contact.
"Yeah, okay. Do you want me to walk you home?" Honestly, I don't know what I want her answer to be. This all feels too much like a coming-of-age movie, so I decide it must not be destined to last very long.
"Nah, that's alright."
"Okay," I repeat before awkwardly cringing. "See you around, then."
"Yeah, see you. This was nice!" Before I even have time to reply, she's turned in the opposite direction and hustled off. I stood and watched her until she was nearly out of sight around a corner, and then dropped my board and in one swift motion set off towards my own house.
My mind wanders in the direction of my parents, overthrowing Liv immediately. I wonder where they are, hoping that by this point they have probably headed off to work like they do every day. Hopefully the worst thing I'll have to face is my brother, Charlie.
When my house comes into view, I pop another cherry candy into my mouth and unlock the front door.
YOU ARE READING
memento mori
Teen Fiction"remember you'll die," she whispered before taking a drag of her cigarette. at least, i thought, in the end i'll die by your side. •••• after bumping into each other at a party or two, opal and liv - despite al...
