LIV
One random Tuesday night after school, I take Opal to my 7-11.
My heart swells because I'm not alone. Finally, someone is there with me and the bright colors don't seem so overwhelming anymore. The guy behind the counter doesn't stare at me so intensely and I'm not running out of the store at first convenience.
Each corner of darkness in my heart that had included the 7-11 in it was intruded upon by this moment of light. Warmth spreads throughout my chest like tree roots growing into the soil.
Then, Opal and I return to the abandoned skatepark at the edge of town.
The stars twinkle bright above us like the sky is a canvas, each dot a bright speckle of white on rich black.
We were both eighteen by now, drinking in our surroundings and drinking in our significance with more appreciation then we ever would have had before.
She has her earbuds in and is staring straight forward, and I take slow sips of my can of monster. She seems content in this comfortable closeness, and so I decide I am too.
Any previous need to talk disappears. There's no awkwardness, no tension to be found.
After a stretch of many minutes, I find her holding out one of her earbuds to me, and tentatively I accept it. She's never shared her music with me like this before and when I put it in, I am not quite sure what to expect. After a second, I am able to place the song, though– it's Ricky Montgomery.
I would never admit it, and especially not to her, but I practically melt at the gesture. Sharing your music is like a secondary way of bearing your soul, of giving little pieces of yourself away in hopes that the other person will understand.
I glance over at her, and she's staring at the sky with a cigarette held in her hand. In all honesty, this feels like a full circle moment for us.
I wonder if this moment is where we could have been faster had I gone up to Liv the first night I saw her. I try not to dwell on it too much, but the conditions provide near perfect for dwelling on the past and the sharp sting of the cold can in my hands is barely holding me in the present.
"I really like you, Opal." I laugh. "No, I love you."
"I like you too. But be careful," she mutters. And somehow, I'm not all that phased by that warning that should be a lot more sinister than I find it.
"And why's that?" I inquire, tilting my head to the side when I look at her like a baby cat with intense curiosity of the world.
"Remember you'll die," she whispered before taking a drag of her cigarette.
At least, I thought, in the end I'll die by your side.
I will hold onto this long enough, fight for you, because in the end I'll need to be there right by your side telling you that you were never alone. And maybe you'll tell me the same thing, whispering sweet nothings until the stars reclaim us as their own.
She drops her cigarette to the ground, crushes it beneath her Doc Marten boot, and then I feel our fingers tangle together slowly. She turns to face me and the world seems to be holding its breath, waiting for something to happen. Maybe I'm waiting for something a little bit too.
"Can I kiss you?" This time, it's her asking. This time, Apocalypse by Cigarettes After Sex is narrating our every move. This time, I feel like I could get lost in all the feelings pouring out into the still night air.
"Yes," I respond, feeling my face flush red.
Come out and haunt me
I know you want me
Her forehead finds a resting spot on mine, because we still take our sweet time. After everything, there's no rush. We just want everything to be alright.
She stares into my eyes as if still trying to confirm that I'm okay, and so I say yes again. I let out a small laugh and say yes again, staring into her eyes all the while.
Even being here with her is enough, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss her. In fact, there was nothing I wanted more in that moment.
Your lips, my lips
When our lips finally collide, both pairs of eyes fluttering closed, the whole world implodes.
For that moment, there is nothing else, no one else, but the two of us left.
Apocalypse
At least, in the end, I'll be by your side.
••••
fin.
YOU ARE READING
memento mori
Teen Fiction"remember you'll die," she whispered before taking a drag of her cigarette. at least, i thought, in the end i'll die by your side. •••• after bumping into each other at a party or two, opal and liv - despite al...
