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I stood there, shell-shocked and jaw dropped as I looked at my boss like she had two heads.
Married?!
As in unholy matrimony? I only say that because there is nothing holy about this woman. I bet she scares Satan.
Mr. Knowles took a good long look at me before falling out in a fit of laughter, “Whew Bey, you’ve always had that interesting sense of humor,” he said once he calmed down and then his face immediately turned serious, “Do you think I’m some kind of fool?” he asked and Boss Lady just stale faced him.
“It’s no secret or surprise that I do, you know that,” she answered and my eyes widened even more.I’ve never heard a black person talk to their parent that way, not only that, I didn’t know what was more shocked to hear, the way she spoke to him or that she had a sense of humor, “But I’m very serious. I don’t joke about things like this,” oh, but you lie about them, “Kierra and I fell in love and we’re getting married,” she reiterated, squeezing my hand to play along when she saw I still had the ultimate look of shock on my face.
Hell, I looked shocked for so long I don’t even know how I could possibly try to play along. I nervously cleared my throat, trying to think of a response, “Yes sir, we are, I’m just surprised you decided to tell him now, and like this. I thought we were going to wait and let our families know in a private, intimate setting…and not in the conference room at work,” I said giving her a “what the hell” look.
Because really, what the hell?! Actually, another four letter word comes to mind, but hell is still befitting for this moment.
She gave me an apologetic look, “I’m sorry Babe, but I couldn’t hide it any longer, I felt insulted at my father’s continuous attempts at pawning me off to some stranger like I’m a mail-order bride, especially when I know I have you. I find it incredibly disrespectful, not just to me, but to you as well,” she explained, and it was a good thing she was holding my hand, otherwise I would have fallen out.
Did I wake up in the Upside Down? Is that why I slept through all my alarms? Because clearly I’m in some parallel universe where nothing makes sense. Coffee baristas are giving me their phone numbers, my boss is pretending to be engaged to me, I’m playing along with said scheme, I mean…
What’s really going on?
Mr. Knowles silently watched our exchange of faux sentiment, and in my head I was wondering if he was actually taking the bait and believing this nonsense. Finally he spoke, “Wow Beyonce, I never struck you as the type to fall in love with your employees.”
Wow, he is a fool.
“It must be genetic. I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree,” she facetiously replied and at this point it’s a wonder my eyes haven’t fallen out of my head by now. She must really hate this man.
