Within the Walls [NEW VERSION]

Chapter 4

I bend over, vomiting stomach acid next to the Tranq's face. The forest spins and clouds in a haze as I stumble forward, slurring curse words. I bolt. Running and running. Hot, blinding tears dribble down my burning cheeks as I desperately try to drink in oxygen. I run until the forest gives way to the outskirts of the town and I gather my wits, slowing my pace to a brisk walk. When I arrive at Aston's cottage near the farms, he isn't home. He is working, of course.

"Will you tell Aston to meet me at my place after work?" I ask Madam Sallow, trying to steady my voice.

She narrows her wrinkled eyes and purses her thin lips. "Are you okay, Elle?"

"Right as rain." Tears burn my eyes anyway. But luckily, she doesn't press the matter.

I stumble into my apartment, collapsing onto the floor. Panic, at last, finds its home in me. It snakes its claws around my throat, digging deep into my flesh. I cannot breathe. I cannot move. My body tremors and splutters. My skin burns and I cry out at the blood staining my arms. The Tranq's blood.

I claw to the wooden tub and tip buckets of water into it. Muttering prayers to the Gods, I peel my tunic and trousers off and lower myself into the tub. I grab my sponge and a bar of unscented soap. The Tranq's unseeing, soulless eyes flash across my mind as I scrub the drying blood from my skin, and from under my nails. Thank the Gods, Lyra isn't home to see this.

Once I scrub myself raw, I hug my body to my knees. I blow out my cheeks, remembering the trick my father taught us when we felt our minds slipping from reality.

"My name is Elle Fallon," I mumble, staring at my toes. "I'm 18, and the water is cold. I can see the apartment building across the road, through the window. I can smell the mildew on the walls. I can hear footsteps in the stairwell. My sister is Lyra..."

I repeat this three times until tendrils of sanity creep back into my bones. With a whimper, I rise out of the tub and dress, anticipating Aston's arrival.

He arrives as the sun rises above the buildings, glaring into the apartment, reminding me it's almost time to head to training. Aston flops onto the couch with a floppy smile. But it drops as I tell him about what happened in the forest.

"You killed a Tranq!" Aston throws his arms into the air, the colour draining from his cheeks and his eyes glinting with fear. "Actually, two of them. You killed two Tranqs, Elle? Two?"

"I had no other choice," I snap, sawing the knife through a loaf of bread.

"We always have choices, Elle." He paces back and forth in my apartment, pausing at the window and gripping the ledge. His glare reflecting in the glass boils my blood, and I resist the urge to toss the loaf at the back of his head.

"The choice was them or me." My voice is rising in anger, and I saw the knife faster. "We both know they would have thrown me out of the city gates the first chance they got. As one of them said, the king would have a field day with me. Nothing like a starving lawbreaker to seize the town in fear again!"

A curse falls ragged from my mouth when the jagged blade of the bread knife slices into my finger. I yelp and stagger backwards, clutching my bleeding hand. He whirls around. Aston rolls his eyes at me.

"Serves you right," he mumbles, snatching a cloth from a wooden rail in the kitchenette. He wraps it around my finger as I fight the blurry, stinging tears.

"Will you help me bury the bodies?" My voice cracks as he squeezes. Blood infiltrates the cloth like maggots to a corpse.

Aston widens his eyes so much I fear they will roll right out of his head. "You're an even bigger idiot than I thought."