Only a Dream

2

I wake up this morning in an already solemn mood. Van keeps bugging me as to why I'm not seeming myself, but I've decided to keep quiet about it. I've never really spoken to him about my Dad, not about how he died or what he meant to me. But especially not that today is the five year anniversary of his death. Van has been ecstatic all week because he's seeing a friend from his childhood who he hasn't seen for donkeys. He lives in London, but is visiting specifically to see Van with his little sister. Van has been so upbeat about it all, that I can't bare to bring him down with the depressing news of my Dad.

"So we're going for lunch at the pub first, play a few games of pool and that with the boys and Gracie. Then I told him I'd take him to me parents to listen to some of our tunes," Van explains to me, as I dot concealer on my face and nod and hum at just the right times.

My mind is preoccupied, but I try to make it as least noticeable as possible seeing as this is a big day for Van. Other then the boys and Gracie, we really don't hang out with many different people. Of course I have to spare Van a couple of times every few months to go and visit friends in Cheshire, but other than that it really is just the seven of us.

"He used to manage a huge firm in London, but he recently got laid off. Hence why he has the time to finally visit me now. Heard Kathleen on YouTube, that's how he got in touch with me, can ya believe it?" Van gasses, his face wide with an incurable grin that makes me smile back at him.

After I finish getting ready, Van hauls me in his car excitedly and we make our way to the pub. I have Saturday and Sunday off of both jobs, so I have the weekend free. Van wants me to drink with them but I know that if I drink tonight, I'll end up getting upset about my Dad. We arrive before them, and I'm relieved to see Gracie who I immediately ask to come to the toilet with me.

"I need your help," I quickly say, the second we are jammed into a cubicle in the ladies.

"Okay, what is it?" she says, almost calculated, as if she is preparing for me to ask her to jump off of a building for me.

"At some point I need to sneak off, you know....go to dads grave. But Van is so excited about me meeting his mate. He keeps on about how he wants me to drink and-"

"Wait," she whispers, holding her hand up to halt my words, "he doesn't know?"

I give her an exasperated look but her face only falls into a sympathetic frown.

"Oh Kath, you should tell him. He won't know to act sensitive," she says and I shake my head.

"I don't want him to act bloody sensitive, this is Van we're talking about. Him and sensitivity don't exactly fall hand in hand," I roll my eyes and she snorts.

"Kath you need to tell him. Van has a real habit of putting his foot in it. He'll upset you today, I guarantee it," she sighs.

I wave her off and then exit the stall, rolling my eyes at the interaction. I just wanted her to find me a way out, not for a whole lecture and a dig at my relationship. We don't exchange anymore words before exiting the bathroom and I pause in my spot when I see there are two more people sat on our table. I don't have long to prepare myself before Van begins waving me over, and the two new arrivals turn to see who he is waving at.

"Hi," I say when I reach the table. Van stands up to pull me against him with a wide grin, and I have to prevent myself from rolling my eyes at the cringey gesture.

"Sav, Mark, this is my girlfriend, Kathleen," he says proudly, his mouth screwing up with a smirk when his mate smiles at him.

"Ah the namesake of the song. Hello, girl," Mark says, throwing his arms over me in an awkward hug. I lightly pat his back, and just smile awkwardly in response.