Jacob Day imagines

empty heart.

⚠️su1cidal mentions⚠️

it has been a few days from what i found out. i haven't done much. i've been mostly in my room. Paige and Mia have came in and checked on me. They have said as well that jacob hasn't left his room for anything. i know because my room is right across from his. of course i feel bad, but what he did hurt. but i don't know if he chose it or was forced. it definitely didn't look forced. he knew what he did and he knows he messed up. 

mia knocked on my door.

mia: hey

y/n: hey

i said that low, in a tired voice.

mia: you haven't slept either have you

y/n: yea. i feel bad but super hurt. my heart isn't full. it's just an empty heart...

mia: i know and i'm sorry. jacob hasn't left his room either. we've heard him cry. he's in really bad pain. 

y/n: see, reasons why i feel bad. i might even be making this a big deal. i want to go talk to him and maybe continue as friends. but who knows, he probably fucked her or something. 

mia: defiantly did not. y/n, you have known jacob. you were the closet to him. 

y/n: i know. but cheat. cheating. 

mia: here's a question, does cheating sound like something he would do?

y/n: no, but you never know...

mia: no. it doesn't sound like him. jacob is a kind hearted person. he will do anything to protect us, his family, and especially, you. 

i stayed quiet. i didn't know what to say. mia was right. what if it was something serious. what if jacob was being forced. damn it. 

y/n: mia i don't know...

mia: i'm going to get thomas to talk to him. we will see then.

mia left. i started overthinking. 

jacobs pov: 

i've been in my room for so long only in tears. i tried to stop, but it wouldn't work. i knew even telling y/n the truth, she most likely wouldn't believe me. i hate my life. maybe it's not worth living anymore. 

some time later, i heard a knock. i quickly dried my eyes and opened the door.

thomas: hey

jacob: hi

thomas: i'm sorry about what happened

jacob: don't worry about it

thomas: but we need to talk

i stayed quiet. allowing him to continue.

thomas: was it your choice to cheat on y/n

i continued staying quiet.

thomas: jacob please answer me

jacob: no it wasn't alright. that stupid bitch decides to come in and take over me. she gets drunk and has me fuck her, which i didn't want to do at all, then she says that i better continue being hers or else she would expose me, and you guys.

thomas: you did all that, for.. us..?

jacob: yes, you guys are family.

thomas was surprised.

jacob: i just wished y/n could come and talk. but i'm scared. i'm sad. i'm broken. i just have an empty heart... 

back to y/n pov

life was tiring. but it's life so what can you say. i finally chose to leave my room. i went downstairs to see the rest of the hype house members and to get a snack. once i was going up, i saw jacob walking back and forth outside. his eyes were so pink. i couldn't feel anything else but extremely bad.

jacobs pov

i saw y/n. she saw me. darn. she most likely saw how pink my eyes were, how messy my hair was. and how tired i looked. she looked mad. still. all my fault. i couldn't continue anymore. 

it was now 2:30am. everyone was asleep and that's when i went outside. i was in massive tears knowing what i was about to do. i got everything ready.

your pov

it was 2:30am. i was thirsty and forgot water so i went to get water. i saw someone by a tree somewhat near the pool area. i was curious so i snuck down there. it was jacob. i was going to turn around but i was to curious to know what he was going to do. then i realized. he was going to end it.

y/n: jacob don't 

he looks at me

jacob: what are you doing here? it's late you should be sleeping

y/n: well i got thirsty. and same thing to you. 

i noticed he has been crying. not a regular cry. a painful, terrible, cry. he seems to have cried so much it could become a ocean. i felt so so so bad. 

y/n: jacob, don't do what your about to do. please. 

jacob: i'm not doing anything. now go back to bed.

i couldn't do anything else but walk up to him and give him a hug. i teared up. it was the best hug i have gotten. 

y/n: it's not worth doing. 

jacob just looked down

y/n: jacob look, your worth it. i know what happened and i know your extremely hurt. i just needed some time to myself. and now i regret it. just please don't do that. i can't live knowing your dead, because of me.

i hugged him one more time. i toke down the things he prepared. threw them away. 

y/n: you need rest. and so do i. maybe we can start all over. 

jacob: i do need rest. and i think so too. just know i'll never stop loving you. even if you don't love me back.

that made me tear up.

i brought jacob to our rooms but had him sleep in mine so i can keep an eye on him. i didn't want him to end up in the hospital like before or anything. he layed down, and i tucked him in. i didn't fall asleep right away. i stayed up for an hour or so. he fell asleep. i kiss d him in the forehead. he's so cute while sleeping. of course i still had feelings for him. i just don't know anything anymore. i definitely wanted to be with him, but still needed to know the story about what happened. i know it sounds funny. y/n, you broke up with him around 2-3weeks ago and now wants to be back together? i know i know i sound crazy. but right now, he's here and h s by my side.

y/n: i'm glad your by my side. still. here. i feel like i may no longer have an empty heart...

i whispered.  

A/N: hey guys! sorry for not updating! my mental health is terrible, and also school is in the way. 

sorry for mentioning su1cid3. i didn't make this because i thought it was a cool thing to write about, i wrote it to help spread awareness in ways. people do sometimes end there life because their lover breaks up with them, or doesn't love them back etc. if you have been thinking about ending it, please seek help. come talk to me, or anyone you TRUST! whatever you say to me is only stayed with me and you. please don't do it my love. your worth it. your loved. you mean so much.

i may not know you but i extremely love you. you are perfection to me ❤️

i love you.