Pack Mentality: Wild at Heart

Chapter 15

Recovery is a process. Becky kept telling herself that, but it didn't make it any easier. If the tables were turned and it had been Seth adjusting to a radically new life, she would have been celebrating every success, no matter how small. She was her own harshest critic, though. Since she was on the threshold of so many big changes, however, some of her concern was justified.

The first test was returning to Seth's house for the first time since the attack. He had been back several times and promised her that she wouldn't be able to see—or smell—a drop of blood, and she noticed that the scent of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies filled the air. "Did you really have your mom come over and bake?" she asked as she stepped inside.

"She offered," Seth replied mock defensively, "but yes. And the cookies are delicious, by the way. And yes, she used ingredients you can eat."

When Kevin trotted around the corner, Becky almost panicked. What if he didn't accept her now that she was a werewolf? He adored Seth, but he had never known Seth as anything but a werewolf. She would smell different to him now and he might see her as a predator, a threat. "Will he still like me?" she asked Seth, suddenly shaken. There was so much about her new life that she hadn't considered.

Kevin stopped in front of her and sniffed her leg curiously. Three weeks after her first full-moon run, she was still using her cane, but she was much more confident on her feet and her thigh wound was completely closed. "Want me to hold him up so you can pet him and see?" Seth offered.

Becky shook her head. Seth was a great help and she knew she wouldn't have been able to make this transition without him, but she also knew she had to take some steps on her own. "I'll try on my own first," she said, kneeling slowly. Her left leg was still slow to bend and stretch, but she was working on it every day. "Hey, Kevin," she said softly. "I missed you." She extended a hand and waited patiently.

The little Yorkie sniffed her fingers for a long moment before butting her hand with his head. "Seal of approval," Seth declared. "Now we just have to wait for Darrell."

After Becky petted Kevin for a few moments, she straightened up and looked around. The last time she had seen the living room, it was covered in her blood, and memories kept nudging at her, trying to suck her in. But that had been part of her recovery as well, talking to a therapist who helped her work her way through the trauma. That too was a process and she could feel her heartbeat pick up as she walked around the living room, but for the most part she managed to keep her panic in check. When she saw a blur of black fur, she almost froze up, but then she heard a familiar purr. "I think he found us." When the cat peeked out around the couch, Becky walked over and sat down. She didn't think she would be able to straighten up from another crouch so soon, and Darrell wasn't in the best of shape either, so the couch was a good compromise.

Darrell hopped up onto the cushion beside her and sniffed curiously at her left thigh. "Darrell," Seth began, voice laden with warning. But the cat rested a gentle paw on her leg and nuzzled it with his head. "If you need to move him...."

"He's fine." Becky rubbed the spot between Darrell's ears and waited for her heart to slow down. Both the pets had accepted her, so that was a relief. WWE still wanted her to return and Vida's company was giving her access to every resource she could imagine to aid in her recovery. She was out of the hospital at last. Her only lingering regret was Maggie's fate, but even Becky had to admit she understood Vida's reasoning. Maggie had such disregard for the lives of others—human and werewolf—that she would always be an exposure risk. All Becky could hope was that the pack wouldn't suffer another such loss and that if another member seemed to be going down a similar path, it would be caught in time to get them the help they needed before it was too late.

Seth sat on her other side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "How are you feeling?"

Becky took a deep breath. Her heart was still beating faster than she would like, and her nerves were definitely more touchy than she was used to. But the world was opening up in beautiful ways too. Darrell's purr had sounded lovely as a human, but it was absolutely magical as a werewolf. The sense of home Seth had poured into his house for her return was as varied and cozy as a patchwork blanket. And kissing Seth now felt like a campfire, a bright spot of heat and hope that kept the darkness of the world at bay. She hadn't been lying when she said she was considering asking him to turn her, but that she still wished the circumstances had been different. "Good. I'm not sure if it's that smart to try a mid-month change so far away from the pack, but...."

Seth kissed her cheek, and she sighed when she felt his beard rub against her skin. "I'm here. You'll be fine. Zenna said she was amazed by how quickly you progressed." He sat back a bit before adding, "It must be that fabled Irish stubbornness."

"You get some of the credit too." Becky leaned against him and closed her eyes. Listening to his heart was even more magical now. "I mean, you did a lot of coffee runs...."

"I did." Seth held her for a long moment, and Becky basked in how their heartbeats eased into a duet. "Speaking of runs...."

Becky knew she could put it off until they could be with a pack or at least a few other wolves. Zenna had suggested a mid-month shift to see how her body dealt with a shift without the aid of the moon, but there were plenty of other times and places. But being a werewolf is all about NOW, Becky reminded herself, rising slowly and holding a hand out to Seth. "We should get going. I'll be slower in the forest, and I don't want to waste any of the night."

Part of Becky wanted to linger, getting reacquainted with Seth's house again, but she didn't want to put off shifting either. The house would still be there when they got back, and hopefully the run—even if it was a shorter one to accommodate her injuries—would hopefully tire her out enough that her overactive imagination wouldn't reply Maggie's attack over and over. "You're doing so good," Seth murmured, grabbing his go-bag—theirs now, at least temporarily, since Becky had yet to assemble her own—from the closet. "I know this isn't how either of us wanted this to happen—"

Steadying herself on her cane, Becky used her free hand to pull Seth down into a kiss. "I wanted us. I chose us. This is where we are right now, so...." She rested her head against his chest and listened to his heart for a moment; it had always soothed her before, but now she could hear so much more of its power. "So you just have to be patient with me."

"Always."

"And keep a healthy stock of mint chocolate ice cream in the freezer?"

Seth's laugh filled the room and her heart. There was still a long, long way to go, but at least she had the best possible company for the journey. "Don't push your luck."

"I'm Irish," Becky replied. "I'm made of luck."