I brushed my piss hair back into a horrifying little man bun and looked in the mirror. Today was the big day. I was going to see Biden Widen!!! I made sure I looked like a good boy so Biden Widen would notice me even though we're competing for the President. Biden Widen has a wife but once Biden Widen sees me like this, he won't be able to resist! I changed into a cutesy wootsy crusty musty dusty suit that I wore for prom 37 years ago I smelled nice and damp. Biden would love this! (I secretly supported Biden but I was too much of an unwiped asshole to tell him.)
I turned in my favorite song WAP by Cardi B and started to do the Renigade until my crusty good for nothing wife came in and asked why I was wearing such nice clothes. She walked towards me and check my fingernails.
"You need to cut your nails, I see shit under them again."
I stared at my ugly fugly wife and started to bite my doo-doo covered nails. It tasted like Biden Widen's nice oily wrinkly skin. (I knew this because during a debate I bit his ass. Best snack ever!)
"Are you dreaming about Biden Bitch again, if u are I will fucking disown you like your father figure."
I starred at my wife in anger and I wanted to lock her in my fish closet.
"Okay woman." I replied.
She inched closer to me and sighed, her breath smelled like a mix of sardines and B.O.
"Good luck Trumpy Rumpy~"
I stared at my fugly wife in guilt then I realized that this was a 64 year-old woman calling me Trumpy Rumpy.
I felt more confident when I drove to the White House for the debate. Biden Widen would soon be all mine...
I saw a massive crowd around Biden Widen, he looked super duper hot in his suit, I even saw a A1 stain on his collar, and it made me blush so hard that I shit my pants with a massive doo-doo.
I walked past Biden with my wife and I had a feeling he was staring at me. I shit my pants so hard again that I was practically swimming in shit.
We began the debate and he came at me with a:
"Do you love butter like you love this country?"
"America." I replied.
"Does Clifford The Big Red Dog like us using guns to shoot children?"
"Gurns" I nodded my head and put my hands in my shit over hips.
"Fish like beer?"
"Alcohol."
I felt a rumble tumble in my tummy and then I felt the urge to sneeze. I knew if I sneezed shart would splatter everywhere and I would make a oopsie in front of Biden Widen. I decided to not because Biden Widen might find it weird.
10 questions later I really needed to sneeze or else I would shit myself again and my ass would start to bleed. I strained really hard and I made a "Ereeeeegh" as an answer for number 13.
I felt it coming down my lower intestine and and building started to rumble. People screaming and ran. The structure started to deteriorate and everybody ran. I sneezed so hard that I rocked the building so hard that it almost collapsed. Shit came running down my suit and dripped down everywhere.
