A Midsummer Weekend (The Extended Version)

8. Three Years After that Weekend

Kamran

It had been about 9 months since Farah and I had our last real conversation. But her words at the end of that conversation still made me smile randomly during the day.

Maybe me being your wife is something we could discuss more in a couple of years

I sighed while sitting in my living room uploading the last of the assignments for my first year of PhD. A degree I hadn't intended on pursuing initially but felt I needed to if I was going to get somewhere in life.

One more year, I reminded myself.

It had been three since I had laid eyes on her, and equally long since I had felt the serenity of her presence. But none of that would matter next year when I imagined myself getting engaged, or better yet Nikahfied, to her. Completing the dreams I had dreamt and the future I had seen that one weekend on the mountains.

If someone knew me when I was a child, they would never have imagined that I could have gotten where I was today. Pursuing a PhD in Computer Engineering from one of the best universities in the US. And utterly in love with a woman who was as mesmerizingly beautiful as she was astute and witty.

Because as I child I never really escaped the shadows of my siblings. In fact, the shadows and the darkness within them became my refuge. The more my siblings achieved, the more I withdrew from the world around me. Afraid that I would never be able to reach the bar my family had set up.

My pedigree should have equipped me with the brains and skills I needed to succeed at school, yet somehow it didn't. Leaving me to be the child that that no one talked about, like I was the black mark on an otherwise academically gifted family.

My father, Tanvir Akram, had a PhD in Physics and had been the Vice Chancellor of University of Punjab till 2 years ago when he retired.

My mother, Beenish Tanvir, had a Masters in Biology and taught for almost 25 years at the best Girl's only College in Pakistan.

My oldest brother, Akbar Tanvir, was a straight A student, had a law degree from Oxford University in the UK and was running his own very successful practice in Lahore now.

My second oldest brother, Ahad Tanvir, who I got compared to the most, was also a straight A student and received his PhD in Computer Sciences from Imperial College of London. He had just moved back to Pakistan and had been recruited as faculty in Pakistan's highest ranked Engineering college.

My twin sister, Komal, gossiped her way through school but still managed to get A's in 90% of her classes, and had done her Masters in Business Administration from the best Business school in the country. She complained about her job all the time, but that didn't take away from the fact that she was the youngest managing director of sales that her multinational company had ever had.

And then there was me. Failed in 6th grade, barely passed 9th, despite all my efforts. Got 2 A's out of 10 subjects in 11th grade, the rest being a smattering of B's, C's, D's and even an F in English language. It wasn't till I reached A' level (12th and 13th grade) and only had to do math and science subjects that the numbers and letters in front of me started to make a discernible pattern. One that I understood, could decode and then explain. My grades rose to mostly A's and I was finally able to get out of the shadows and have my father look at me with anything other than disappointment and disdain.

But by then I was told by my counselors and parents alike, that it was too late. That I was destined to be a failure, only achieving just enough to sustain a job with a living wage. No one had expected me to continue my streak of decent grades during my undergrad in computer engineering, or even get into a university in the US for a postgraduate degree, and then qualify for a PhD just like my brother and father had.