Forget Me Not

Chapter 4

Ryan's POV

"Mom, I'm fine. You and dad both do not need to come here." I said quietly, sitting on the bunk of my bed. I had my legs crossed indian style and my hoodie seemed to have become ten times bigger than it was before.

"Mom, whatever Jamie said, just ignore it. Why? Because I'm telling you personally that I am fine, I am okay and I am healthy. ..Yes, I'm drinking plenty of fluids and getting plenty of sleep. ..Yes mom. Yes, yes. Nash is fine, so is Ian. ..Yes mom. Yes. Okay. Yes. Fine. I'll call everyday. Okay. I love you too. Bye."

I finally hung up the phone. God knows that women gets on my last nerve sometimes. I don't even know what's wrong, or why she was even calling. Apparently Jamie had told her something is seriously wrong with me, which nothing is wrong. I do the same thing every single day; sing, interview, promotion, eat, sleep. Day after day. Sighing quietly, I got up and quickly put my skinny jeans on, along with my Nirvana shirt. Putting my Ray Bans on, I walked off of the tourbus and headed into the next arena. I looked up to see Nash running over to me. His face full of concern and worry.

"Ry," He said. "It's Cameron. He just saw Megan and well -"

"I don't wanna know about it." I said dryly. His face went from concern to shock as I slowly slid past him. I grabbed a water bottle, a small fruit snack and headed towards my dressing room. Nash quickly got over his shock and followed me to the room.

"Ryan, you need to know about this." He said. I looked up at him, sighing. He sat down in the black faded leather chair quickly, grabbing his arm and pulling me down beside him. He looked at me once more with full concern.

"There's a guy," He started. "According to Cam, Megan said his name is Ryan, or she thinks it's Ryan at least. Meaning, he's claiming to be you and well, uhm they-"

"Set in 10!" Our stange manager yelled into the room. I looked at Nash, sighing quietly.

"This is going to have to wait until after, Nashy." I said. I forced a small smile before getting up, cutting Nash off once more and quickly changing into my concert attire; a low cut white t-shirt, perfectly exposing my chest tattoo, a black leather jacket, black skinny jeans with white converse. Adding on, I put on glove on my right hand, a sliver chained dog tag. Slicking my hair back, I looked into the mirror and frowned at the reflection staring back at me. The bags under my eyes had grown larger, almost darker. My face was sinking and it was definetly paler than it was last year. My eyes weren't as brown. They were lifeless, weak and numb. I quickly applied my usual spach of make up to cover it all up, which with Maggie's help I had perfected. I took another look at myself in the frowning, pulling my shirt down and swiftly walking out of the room. I grabbed my guitar and took a seat down. As I started to tune my guitar, I noticed that everyone was shooting me looks. The camera men, the sound men, the lights men.. Evan Jamie and Ian shot me a quick look. I finished restringing my guitar and got up, walking over to them and shoving my hands into my pockets.

"Why's everyone looking at me like that?" I asked Ian.

He looked at me, frowning before putting his base on. "You're really, really skinny and we're worried. Ryan, if something's bothering you, please tell us. We're your friends and we're here to help you."

I didn't answer them because I don't need help. I'm fine. I'm just tired.

"Ryan, let us in." Jamie said.

"Or what? Are you going to call mom again? Tell her I've been acting weird lately? Here's a news flash; I'm 26. I can handle myself. I'm an adult. I'm fine. Nothing is wrong. Stop worrying about me, just stop it doesn't help."

Jamie and Ian exchanged glances before looking at me again, frowning. They didn't say anything else, instead Ian picked his base up, Jamie his drumsticks and went off into another part of the building. Good. I'm glad they're gone. I don't need to be harassed 24/7. That's why I like Nash the best, he doesn't harass me. Instead, he tells countless numbers of stories, gets drunk with me and doesn't make me talk about anything. He's the cool one.

Grabbing my guitar and the tuner, I quickly sat down and started re-stringing the old six stringed wonder. By the time it was time to go onstage and start the first set, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I wonder how she was doing, what she was up to, then I remembered that night and how everything went wrong. How I messed it all up, how I blew my chance with her. I couldn't stop blaming myself. Everyday the hatred in my stomach grows grows until I physically can't hold it anymore. Tonight Tonight went by, I Like It Like That, Bleed, Honestly and Emo went by quicker than I had thought. By the time it did, my throat had a burning sensation and it hurt to even talk. But, being who I am, I powered through it. I figured it was just because I was over powering it. I duller it down a bit for Forever Unstoppable, Alright and Radio. It helped a lot and I was able to continue the songs. I looked over and saw Nash looking at me; smiling his signature Nash smile and playing his heart out on his blue guitar his little secret admirer had bought him and singing back up when he needed to. I saw Ian, prancing around the stage with his bass, Maggie standing off to the side with her smiling proudly at her boy friend. I did a 180, heading towards Jamie's drum set on the last verse of Radio. He smiled at me, purposefully hitting his symbols and laughing through the last line. I looked back at the flashing cameras, smiling and clearing my throat. I leaned against Jaime, getting a rise out of the crowd as I told them to give him, Nash and Ian a big round of applause.

In doing so, I noticed a sign that said "Myan forever!". I lost my smile instantly. I took a deep breath in and walked down to my mic stand. I put my mic it into the mic holder, looking back at the crowd and smiling once more.

"Alright," I said. "We have three more songs for you guys tonight. This song and the next song we're about to sing for you has a special meaning for all of us in the band. Each, though, a different meaning. For me, this song is about finding that someone who changed you for good, the better by making you a happier person than you were before. After meeting this person, you discover a whole new world of love and laughter. You also realize that you wouldn't trade that person for the world, and that they're reason you believe in everything again. You realize that is the only one for you."

I smiled as the crowd cheered loudly, the music of The Only One starting to play behind me. I looked over and saw Nash and Ian smiling hugely. I shook my head, rolling my eyes slightly and starting to sing each and every line with a passion I didn't know I had before. Every person in the crowd was on their feet, waving their candles or phones in the air, singing loudly to the music. I started thinking of my life before and after Megan; how dramatically different it was. She is the proof that love is beautiful, she's the reason why I love again. I love her. I need her but dammit, she doesn't remember me. I finished the song quickly. Song Why Don't You Love Me without somehow breaking down.

Keep You With Me, the song Megan wrote me, was next. I could already feel the tears swelling up in my eyes as I started singing the song. Memories instantly started running through my head: the first day on the beach, the first date, the fair, the recording session, the party. Everything. I remember the night at Olive Garden, when Liz tried to kill her. I remember her being punched and me hitting my head and passing out. I remember me being questioned by the nurse at the hospital. And her, smiling through the pain and laughing as we lied in the hospital bed, watching movies until sunset. I remember asking her out, and her saying yes. I remember helping her with her insecurities, her cutting and the promises we made.

I remember the biggest promise: I will always love you.

And I do. I love her.

Megan McKinley Mace.

At the end of the song, I could feel the tears streaming down my face and my fingers becoming tingly and a numbing sensation hitting my body. I blinked a few times, still singing but before I knew it I heard Nash scream, a crash and then nothing.