the girl in the corner.

episode 13: am i boring you?

throughout the entire day, what momoko had told me before first period stuck in my head.

riki was trying his best to comfort me, despite being oblivious to the cause, but i only continued sulking and crying.

yes, i cried. momoko just told me that riki only befriended me out of pity, who wouldn't cry at that? i know i shouldn't believe her, but it could very well be true.

eventually, i told riki that i want to be alone for the day during break time when he came to share his pack of gummies with me. he nodded and quietly returned to where he came from, and i tucked my head into my arms and let some tears flow down my cheeks. i felt bad that i pushed him away like this, and the look on his face when i indirectly rejected his offer of our favorite gummies made me feel even worse.

riki respected my wishes and left me alone for the rest of the day, just as we'd been a month ago. momoko seemed rather happy about this, but i don't know. riki would glance over at me worriedly during lessons, and i'd always avoid his gaze and keep my eyes on my notebooks instead.

momoko is right. i am boring, i do have nothing to talk about, and i definitely am boring riki. she's so much better than me, i don't understand why riki doesn't like her.

during cleaning time, i decided to go to the rooftop, a place where i'd often clear my thoughts before i go home. i used to come to this place with riki occasionally, just to escape from cleaning.

i walked across it and went to the ledge, and i was able to see the entire front of the school from above. being in a place like this calmed me, and i enjoyed the tranquility. i stood there for quite a while, with my backpack at my feet while i stared at the empty school grounds as the students were busy cleaning the interior of the building.

i kept thinking about momoko's words, which inevitably brought tears to my eyes. i allowed myself to cry freely, for i knew no one would be here—at least, not in this area of the roof. i didn't realise how immersed i was with my thoughts until i felt a hand on my shoulder. i jumped and turned to face behind me with wide eyes, releasing a sigh at seeing it was riki himself. i shrugged his hand off my shoulder and wiped my tears, then turned to face ahead, desperately trying to ignore his presence. he clicked his tongue and stood beside me.

"i knew you'd be here," he said, and i remained silent. he sighed.

"i'm serious, suzuki. i can't see you like this," he began. "what did momoko say to you? you've been crying all day. what's wrong? aren't i your friend? you can tell me."

i lowered my head at his last statements. my friend, huh. well, out of pity, you definitely are.

i felt embarrassed that he'd noticed i was crying all day long, and i felt awful for worrying him over myself. i shook my head.

"it's not important, riki. i swear," i assured him, but he still didn't believe me.

"suzuki, please. i'm your friend—"

"riki, am i boring you?" i gathered all my courage to ask that question. the words died on his mouth and he looked at me in utter disbelief and shock. i didn't dare face him.

"what?" he said incredulously. i repeated my question in a quieter tone. he shook his head frantically.

"no!" he exclaimed. "no, not at all! you're the most interesting person i've met! you're so talented, and so pretty, and so funny, and so kind and so sweet. you're not boring!"

his words made my heart flutter indeed, but i still didn't believe him.

"suzuki, did momoko tell you that?" he inquired, and i quickly denied.

"no, i just.. i felt i was boring.." i lied. riki shook his head and placed an arm over my shoulder.

"you're definitely not, suzuki. you're definitely not boring. didn't you notice that i started hanging out with you more than my friends? and i ask to see you so frequently too. i like being friends with you, suzuki. really."

riki turned to me with his usual charismatic smile, and for the first time that day, i met his eyes. they held so much warmth and adoration, i felt so overwhelmed that i allowed a smile to crack across my face. i felt hot tears form under my eyes, and i was so overcome with emotion that i abruptly embraced riki. i felt him stumble before he released a chuckle and hugged me back.

this was the warmest hug i've ever received.