episode 29: suzuki's letters.

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suzuki's letter to momoko

"to momoko hatanaka, the girl who made my life have a taste, although it's a sour one.

i would like to address a few things, momoko. i might be quiet, but i don't like it when someone thinks in a wrong way of me, and this is my chance to express it.

first, that day, i did not tell riki about anything that was going on between us. i thought i could handle it myself, and besides, he doesn't deserve to handle my burdens with me. it was purely coincidence that he was perhaps passing by and heard our conversation, so he wanted to speak for me, since he knows i can't stand up for myself. i didn't mean for him to say these things to you, nor did i tell him that you said and did the things you did at all. i kept everything between us, and i hope that clears things out for you.

second, i do know you like riki, and i'm telling you in this letter what i couldn't tell you in person— i don't like riki. in fact, i thought you and him would be more compatible than us. i don't know about him, but i certainly don't like him that way. i tried telling you this, but you won't listen.

also, i genuinely advice you to fix your habit of jumping to conclusions. you should listen to both sides of the story and be sure of a belief or its contradiction before taking action with or against it. once again, i don't like riki like you think i do. i see him as a friend.

i definitely am not happy that i unintentionally ruined your chances of getting together with him. i want you to realize that it was he who approached me and asked to be friends, not the other way around. i suggest you apologize to him, so that he sees your remorse about the whole thing.

thirdly, i do not think you're ridiculous for your apology, thank you. it's a sign of self respect and humbleness that you take responsibility for your actions, and if anything, i respect you and think you're a very respectable person for your apology. but rest assured, i don't have anything against you and i already forgive you. let's forget this time period and live on.

p.s, i hope riki forgives you and good luck with your confession!

suzuki miyamoto."

suzuki's letter to riki

"to riki nishimura, the boy who had my heart since day one.

riki, i'm writing this to you so i can say what i couldn't find the courage to say in person to you. there's a lot of things i want to tell you, but unfortunately the universe didn't give me the chance, so i'm writing what i could in this letter.

by the time you're reading this, you must be confused—why was i absent from school for so long? well, i'll tell you that later on in the letter. first off, i'd like to wish you a few things.

i wish you a good life from here on out, and don't be sad at all.

i wish you good grades and a happy graduation in the future. live well for me.

i wish you will be able to find love, for i know i didn't find mine.

i couldn't tell you this when we were together, so i'm telling you right now. please don't cry and don't be sad about the news; i myself couldn't control our situation, and this had to happen.

i'm moving to tokyo. i know i'm a coward for not being able to tell you this face to face, but in truth, i was anxious of your reaction to the news and i feared i wouldn't be able to bear it, so i decided that writing it would be best.

i know this might've shocked you, but we're moving because of living difficulties. my father thought it would be better if we move to tokyo, because he deems life there as easier.

it breaks my heart that i had to leave so suddenly, and it breaks me even more that i had to leave you, so suddenly. i don't know how you'll take it, but i hope you feel indifferent about it. after all, it wouldn't make a difference if the quiet girl dies, no? so this is basically the same thing.

i'm mad at the whole situation, rather than sad. why? i'm mad at the universe. i'm mad at the universe that i didn't get to spend more time with you, i'm mad that i had to be taken away from you like this. i don't know how long i'll be in tokyo, but i want to go back to our lake as soon as possible, and hopefully i'll see you there when that time comes, waiting for me. promise me now, yeah?

another thing i wanted to tell you is that i like you. yes, i had a crush on you for the longest time possible. i'm sure i even started liking you way before momoko did (you didn't hear that part from me.) as far as i could remember, i started liking you last year, i think, when we were both in our final year of middle school. you were my hallway crush, except we were in the same
class.

i don't know how you might feel about this, but i hope you don't distance yourself from me because of this. you were my first ever friend ever since i transferred to your school, and i hope that, if a love story doesn't bloom between us, we could stay as friends. i'm okay as long as you're with me.

it might be hard to get used to school without me, or to not sneak out every night so we could go to the park together. these were the best times of my life, and i hope i can live them again, and with you.

i'm begging you, please don't forget me. i won't forget you. promise me now, and let's keep this promise until the end of time. i'll be sure to come back as soon as possible.

another thing, please don't cry. i'd hate to see you cry, and even though i most likely won't be in the next building by the time you're reading this, i hate to imagine that you'll cry when reading this letter. please don't cry, and just wait for me.

that's all i have to say to you, riki. i hope we'll meet again soon, and i'll make our ends meet so we could sneak out to the lake at one in the morning again. promise to wait for me, and live a happy life until then. don't dwell on my existence.

love, your suzuki."

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