"So where do we go?" I ask Dan. We ate dinner (some delicious grilled cheese that took a few fire alarms going off to make), and now we're lying in bed. He figured he would have to stay over, so he's brought some stuff to sleep in.
He shrugs. "I don't know, where do you want to go?"
"I guess... Greece? I can't be a privileged English girl without going to Greece. Plus, I've always wanted to go. My family's Greek."
"I guess that explains the last name."
"Yeah, you should've heard all the substitute teachers trying to call role."
Dan laughs, getting those lines around his eyes. That's for all the fangirls, I think, taking a mental image. For what isn't the first time I realize that I'm pretty much living what would be fourteen year old me's dream. Dating Dan Howell, planning a trip with him for God's sake. My channel's bigger than ever and only growing, plus soon I'm going to have another massive short film under my belt. But is that too much? I dismiss the thought. "I'm sure she was," says Dan, "Greece it is. Maybe we can go around all the islands and stuff? I've heard that's cool."
"I don't know, it's not like I've ever been. I'm just excited for the food."
"I think the islands sound great. But isn't the Parthenon in Athens? We have to go there..." Dan says.
We go on like this for what feels like hours. For once I actually feel okay, which was probably what Dan was going for. Maybe in the anticipation of this trip, I might forget all about this anxiety thing. I guess that is what's happening, and has been happening, but I still have my anxious moments.
"What are we going to tell people? We're just two best friends platonically sharing a bed in Greece for a week and a half?" It dawns on me that people still don't know that we're a thing. Yeah, they've noticed we hang out a lot, but friends can do that without people suspecting too much. Any wrong move, though, and we could end up outed. We've made sure to be careful, have an excuse ready for any subscriber that happens to spot us together, and combing through every video together to make sure there's nothing that could even hint towards "#dia."
"Oh... Well, we could either totally come clean in the next two weeks, or just hope no one notices?" suggests Dan. I frown.
"I think both of those will end in disaster. Unless someone finds out, I really don't want to have to tell people. Definitely don't need anymore super-public relationships..."
It felt like the entire Internet was ablaze when Gale and I broke up. We'd made multiple videos about our relationship, and seeing those only made it worse once we were over. I only hope that Dan and I won't end up sad, wondering whether we should delete videos with each other altogether.
"Yeah. Wait?"
"Sure. Let's wait." How long we can wait, I'm not sure.
- - -
"Good morning!" I pry open my eyes and groan.
"What do you want?" I say, glaring at Dan, sitting on the foot of my bed with a tray of food.
"Well, Mia, I made you breakfast this morning, so unless you want me to eat this all on my own I suggest you sit up and put on some glasses."
The idea of food gets me up rather quickly. I mean, food. Who wouldn't get up for food?
Dan's made toast and cereal, and there's also what looks like an orange he tried to cut up but just ended up bruising. My boyfriend is such a dork. He grabs my glasses and tries to romantically push them onto my face, but just ends up stabbing me in the eye a few times.
"Do you need help with that?" I ask, taking the glasses and putting them on myself, "Dork."
"Hipster," retorts Dan.
"Trash."
"Screw you," he says, stealing a marshmallow from my Lucky Charms.
"I hate you."
"I love you too, Mia," he says, stealing another and then running off into the other room.
"You'll pay for this!!!" I shriek, but since my throat is all tired from sleeping I just end up puttering out at the end and going back to eating my cereal in shame.
For the first time in a while I make an actually okay video, with Dan behind the camera. He keeps me at least kind of cheery as he makes funny faces behind the tripod and reacts to the dumb stuff I say. The video is just a Q&A, but I need to get back to some form of normalcy before making something creative. PJ's taken the weight of the load with our film, as guilty as I feel about it, but I hope I can contribute a little more once I get my mind sorted out. Maybe. I'm feeling better already, actually.
"So should we plan for Greece?" he asks, grinning.
"Yes! I'm really excited, actually. As long as the Greeks don't kill me."
"Why would they do that?" he asks, a little confused. He doesn't understand how literally insane Greek people are. Our DNA is a mixture of disorders, diseases, and syndromes. We live a long time, but by the time we're ninety people wish we don't. I can't count how many times I got yelled at by my Yia Yia for not cooking my spanakopita dough correctly and letting it flake. Plus the time I got called an atheist while dancing in the local Greek Heritage festival, and how they later kicked me out because I didn't go to the church where it was held.
In my defense, I'm being derogatory towards myself and that makes it okay. Not really.
We're going to go this summer, since my Uni ends in a few weeks and after that I have like, five months to do whatever I want. Daniel says we "just need" to go snorkeling in some ocean I haven't heard of since European History when I was thirteen. At least I know enough Greek from my Yia Yia and Papou. They insisted I attend Greek lessons at the Orthodox church until the age of thirteen. I hated it, but at least now I can say the whole Lord's Prayer in Greek. Not English, though, to their dismay.
I get absorbed in the giddy travel-planning, and for a while the buzzy mess of the last few weeks fades away, and I feel average. Average with a little bit of excitement in between. I guess that's okay for now.
// everything about being greek in here came from my experience or my pretty close greek friend. But yeah greek children are kinda really abusive tbh that whole atheist thing is true, a bunch of boys asked me what church I went to and when I said I didn't go they chased me around backstage for thirty minutes chanting "atheist! she's an atheist!" like they were chasing after a witch in Monty Python (note that I have enough respect for Monty Python to capitalize them)
Anyways can anyone else confirm how screwed up Greek people are? like dang I have anxiety and ADD and maybe a tad bit of synesthesia bc my mom thinks so //
