Dan seems pretty happy with what Linda said. We make an appointment for two weeks from now, figuring we'll see if I'm any happier. Hopefully I will be.
I tweet as soon as I get back, trying to be more "honest about my emotions."
WatchMiaRun: Had a difficult last couple weeks in terms of emotions, but feeling really awesome tonight!
I post the tweet and dig into our Chinese food, Dan eating his chicken and me my shrimp rice. Even though I'm vegetarian, I still eat shrimp. I don't really like fish anyway. I think it's called being a pescatarian.
"Good tweet," he says, "Keeping it real with Mia Harrison." I laugh and take another bite.
After dinner Dan and I watch some American Horror Story. We started it on the plane back and actually enjoy it a lot, being the slightly sick weirdos we are. We're starting the second season already, and I'm pretty sure we've watched twelve episodes in a little more than a day.
Two episodes and a lot of "What the hell??!?"-ing later, I head to bed. Dan stays up, doing his whole Tumblr at night aesthetic thing that he does. For a while I watch him from bed, the blue glow of the laptop shining onto his face. Every once in a while I see him chuckle, eyes crinkling at the corners. I fall asleep as he mutters something about dumb memes.
-
I wake up around eleven, and get ready to make a video. Very important, all that, since I haven't posted in so long. Plus, I had better get this done with before the weird anxiety depression sets in again. I figure I'll talk about my life, minus Greece. No one can know about Greece.
"Hey everyone," I say, "Mia here, I know, it's been forever! Throw rocks at me and throw me into a furnace, but I've been pretty busy. Trust me. For one thing, I finally finished PJ and I's short film! So that'll be coming out within a matter of weeks, make sure to watch his channel for that.
"For another thing, Dan has just finished moving in with me, which was a whole hassle. The thing about moving is that you guys can never tell how much of a mess it is because we clean out the view frame. Well, if I had moved the camera one inch to the left during the last few weeks you would've seen boxes and boxes and boxes of absolute crap. Like honestly, we could've been on an episode of hoarders.
"But otherwise, living with Dan is great. We're both really messy and gross so neither of us care that the flat's a mess, and he brought in a nice real piano rather than my keyboard. Of course, we never play it, so I guess that's how it is. Plus, we're both sick human beings who like horror movies, so after we watch those neither of us has to be worried about getting eaten alive in the middle of the night!"
I pause and think about what to say next. "Hey Dan?" I yell, "Wanna come be in the video?" He comes in, but he's not wearing a shirt or trousers. "This isn't a porn, Daniel," I say, "Put on a shirt or something." He shrugs.
"I'll stay behind the camera," he says, sitting next to the tripod but out of frame.
"So now Dan is here. Daniel, do you think living with me is cool?"
"Maybe. I don't know. You're forcing me to say this because otherwise you'll torture me in the basement. But yes, I do like living with you," he says, laughing and almost knocking over the camera.
"Okay bye Dan you can go now. No one wants you here." Or you can flash the camera with your naked self for the thumbnail."
"No thanks, Mia Harrison." He gets up and walks out, staying in the doorway to watch.
"He hasn't left," I say, "But anyways, Dan's here, being an absolute ass in my house, and he's been totally messing up my video schedule."
Dan clears his throat. "Aren't you gonna talk about the thing?" he asks, still sitting there in the doorway.
I sigh, "Fine. Speaking of reasons why I haven't posted, recently I've been suffering from the mental disorder known as anxiety. It's made it slightly difficult to really function and make videos like I normally do. I'm definitely getting better, but it's a difficult thing to get over by yourself. I don't know if I should make a full video about this, because I'm not sure anyone would really be interested, honestly, but if you'd like a video about that kind of thing you should totally like and comment. I'm not sure I really have the authority to talk about anxiety professionally, but maybe sharing my experiences would help everyone out a little.
"Anyways, that's really all I have to say. Ask any questions you have in the comments, I love to see you guys giving feedback. Make sure to like, comment, and subscribe! Bye!"
Dan turns the camera off for me and I load the memory card into my laptop. Editing will come later, I suppose. PJ is going to stop by later.
I almost feel bad for PJ. He's been so wrapped up in his films and everything he hasn't had a girlfriend since Lex. I want to try and find him someone, but my range of friends are rather limited. Most are either guys (not PJ's area of expertise) or girls with boyfriends or husbands or children. I wish I could help him.
PJ gets to the flat a little while before dinner. He seems perfectly happy, but I still feel bad.
"Hey Peej! Dan and I just ordered pizza, so I dunno, just chill. We have Mario Kart, of course." Peej goes and sits on the couch. I pull out the Wii controllers and pop in the disc, ready to totally smash everyone.
After our first night, Dan and I have been in constant Mario Kart competition. I'll win a game, he'll win a game. It's back and forth, constantly. PJ sits down, ready for the race of the best. We're all known for our skills, and now we put them to the test.
It sounds like a cheesy sportscaster, but it's pretty true. We should probably be making some kind of video about this.
"Do we wanna film this?" I ask, grabbing some random camera from the coffee table.
"That would be so much work, though. Don't you remember the time we tried to download that app thing to record the Wii footage?" I sighed. That was a mess. Nintendo does not like being recorded.
"You could just record us in real life. That would be fine, right?" asks PJ, "I've done it before. Plus without the context it'll probably just be some weird slightly worrying video."
We set up the camera across from us on top of the TV and on to show the screen from the side. It doesn't look half bad, as far as I can tell. We start the race.
Tonight will be great.
