Impossible Astronaut

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The Doctor was terrible behind the wheel, but my only driving credentials came in the form of a disastrous attempt at grand theft auto, so he was the more natural choice.

I was shocked that he could handle hours of open road the way he did - when he first stole me away from Leadworth announcing a road trip, I thought it would drive him mad with boredom.

That's not to say he didn't stop us to see every single roadside attraction. A museum of children's toys, and an assortment of giant dinosaur sculptures that were unrealistic enough to send the Doctor ranting. Signs advertising the world's largest ball of string or it's best cup of coffee drew him in despite how I rolled my eyes. He didn't even like coffee, he just wanted to debunk all the outrageous claims and explain to me why they were wrong, like I didn't know that a cup of coffee from a gas station on the side of the road in Nevada couldn't possibly be the best in the world.

From New York City to Lake Silencio, Utah. At first I begged to stay in New York longer, but he insisted that there was a deadline for getting to Silencio.

Since he slept less than I did, I would doze off in the passenger's seat or climb into the backseat to curl up with an old quilt for a few hours.

I woke up suddenly one night. We'd been driving through a particularly long stretch of desert, with nothing on either side of us for miles and miles. I'd taken the opportunity to catch some shuteye, but now I was up because I had suddenly become aware that it was quiet. Not only that, it was dark. The gentle rocking, rumble of the engine, and the warm overhead light was gone.

I sat up, feeling unsettled.

"Doctor?"

The driver's seat was empty.

I pushed open the door and climbed out, stumbling and squinting into the darkness. "Doctor!"

"Shush, shush, I'm right here."

I whirled around and found him leaning back against the hood of the car.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm looking at the stars." He patted the hood of the car next to him, and I went over to join. "We're far enough out that you can really see them."

He was right. I stared up at the glittering sky, feeling slightly unnerved. There was that feeling, like I was being watched. Like they were all staring down at me. I'd always prefer light pollution to this.

"I spent so much of my life resenting the night sky," he said, and seemed so deep in thought I wasn't sure he was talking to me. "It was all too far away. So much to see, too little time. I just wanted to..." he mimed grasping something floating above him and pulled his hands hard into his chest.

"How long were we stopped?"

"Not too long. I didn't want to wake you."

"I wouldn't have minded." I sighed, still a little disoriented. "For a second I thought you'd run off."

I hadn't really meant to say that last part aloud, but he didn't seem offended.

"Now, why would I do that?"

"It's kind of what you're known for."

He hummed, and looked upwards with uncommonly serious eyes. "I'm trying to change that. Even if it's just for a little while."

I stared at him. He was more serious lately, almost mournful. He had trouble keeping up with our usual banter, and seemed content to let me have my way in any place where I pressed.

"You seem different."

He looked at me, expression unreadable. Then he looked up again, evidently deciding to ignore my comment altogether.

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