Why

Memphis

Memphis
    By nine pm I had chased down every lead, gone to every one of Belle's neighbor's leaving my card and pleading for any scrap of information they can remember to call me ASAP.
    I was wiped. I'd pulled on every thread I had for today and the unfortunate thing about this job it's a lot of hurry up and wait.
    I try to call Edie three times after I finish up but it only goes to voicemail.
    I stare at my phone after the last time in confusion until I get a text from Walker that she's still over at their house getting drunk of her ass with Lil on mimosas.
    It's nighttime though, I think to myself as I make my way to my truck. Why are they still drinking mimosas?
    I get to their place ten minutes later to see every light in the place on and music blaring through the window panes.
    I shake my head as I chuckle to myself while taking the steps up their porch to their front door.
    "She's always going to have me on my toes," I mutter to myself as I try to open the door. Finding it locked I knock.
    There's a pause before I hear Edie's slurred voice on the other side of the door, "Whas da password?"
    I shake my head again as I yell over the music, "Panty gusher."
    I hear Walker gag as the music gets turned down just as I yell. Lil is howling in laughter sounding just as drunk as my baby.
    The door is yanked open in an instant with Edie standing there swaying on her feet and fire in her eyes as she screeches, "Memphis!"
    I get a good look at her then double over laughing.
    She's got high heeled fuzzy slippers on her feet, a penguin hat perched crookedly on her head with the flaps falling down the sides of her face, and a Sully from Monsters Inc. onesie on.
    Where her clothes have gone I have no idea but I don't waist a second and pull my phone from my back pocket to snap a picture.
    That's going in as her contact picture. Immediately.
    Once I finish that I look up to see she's still staring me down, only this time the look has changed. She no longer looks like she wants to tear my head off. She looks more like she wants to tear my clothes off.
    I'm all for the second option, not so much the first one.
    "How drunk are you?" I ask with laughter still in my voice as I look at the penguin hat trying to slide off her head.
    "Drunk enough that I'm fun and loud but not so drunk that I'll forget the dirty things you do to me," she responds instantly.
    Welp, now I'm sportin' wood.
    Ideas of all things I could do with a carefree, lazy, drunk Edie shoots all the blood in my body south and I suddenly get a head rush.
    "Wanna go home?" I growl as she takes a wobbly step toward me clutching my shirt.
    "Nope." She pops the 'p' loudly as she lets go and tries to spin on her heel to head back into the house.
    I grab her waist to hold her steady as I follow her in, closing the door behind me.
    I look around to what looks like a bomb going off in the living room. There's what looks like snack foods, liquor bottles, and girlie shit scattered everywhere. What stops me short though is seeing Ghost lounging in a chair with Sarg laying close on the floor as Binx and Garfield roll around with a fuzzy boa thing.
    "The fuck?" I ask the room as a whole as my eyes bounce from one thing to the next, not understanding what I'm looking at.
    Finally, my eyes land on Walk as he comes strolling around the corner with oven mitts on his hands carrying a tray with what looks like pizza bites fresh from the oven.
    He stops short when he sees me and my brows arch up as I take another picture on my phone once I notice the apron around his waist saying, 'I like cock' with big roosters all over it.
    "That's going in the group message," I tell him as I bend my head to my phone quickly sending the picture to the work group text.
    Instantly I hear mine and Walker's phones pinging with notifications as I tuck my phone back in my pocket.
    "You rat bastard," Walker whines as he sets a pad thingy on the table before setting the tray on top of it.
    I ignore him as I search for Edie just as she comes from the kitchen with little bowls filled with what looks like either ranch or bleu cheese dressing.
    If she's got bleu cheese dressing for herself it's divorce. I don't even care that we're not married yet.
    "Please tell me that's not bleu cheese," I voice my concerns as I eyeball the little bowl in her hands.
    I look to her face and grins as her face scrunches in disgust before clarifying, "Eww God no, it's Ranch. What kind of psychopath dips pizza rolls in bleu cheese? On purpose?"
    My sister, but then again I'm pretty sure she is a psychopath. I don't voice any of this as I reach out, pulling her body to mine and lean down until our noses almost touch, "Hi," my voice low.
    "Hi," she breathes as I lean in for a kiss.
    Her lips are soft and sweet but her breath most definitely is not. I kiss her anyway because its been the best part of my day since I kissed her goodbye this morning.
    "When y'all are done with your PDA the pizza rolls are getting cold. Memph if you don't mind helping me grab more beers?" Walker doesn't really give me the opportunity to say no when I look up and see the look in his eyes.
    I send him a slight nod, acknowledging the look but if he didn't say anything in front of Edie then I won't either.
    I give her another peck on the lips before muttering, "Save a few for me?"
    She shrugs both shoulders before warning, "I can't make any promises."
    I shake my head as I watch her do what looks like a baby deer walk until she collapses on the couch where Lil is already waiting with a pizza roll in each hand.
    I make my way to the kitchen with so many questions I don't know where to start.
    I make the corner and find Walker pacing like a caged animal.
    I watch for a moment before asking, "What's going on Walk?"
    His head swings my way and his look stops me in my tracks. He's only ever looked like that when we've been at war or when chasing a suspect.
    Now my hackles are up because something's not right.
    "Walk," I bark.
    "Memphis, before I tell you whats going on I need to know, did you get anything today?" His voice is thick with emotions and I have to remind myself to take a deep breath.
    "Lot's of canvasing and throwing my card around, but you know how it is Walk, it's a waiting game. I'm waiting for results from lab, waiting for people to decide to call, waiting to see if anyone that calls with tips are actually helpful or not. That's all I got today, but tomorrow's a new day." I make sure to try and end with a positive note because neither one of us are going to be able to settle until that fucker is sentenced for as long as possible.
    He nods in regretful understanding before taking a deep breath and holding it for a few beats, then slowly exhaling.
    I squint at his body language.
    He won't face me directly, his eyes don't stay on mine, and he's fidgeting with the label of the beer bottle in front of him.
    "For fucks sake Walk spit it out," I gripe as I finally make my way to the bar stool in front of him.
    "Okay, but before I do I want you to know that I wanted to call you the instant that it happened but that Edie demanded that I not," his eyes came directly to mine as I felt my heart drop to my ass, "she threatened to make it her life's mission to never let me get laid again. I can't do that Memph, I can barely go three days without going feral."
    His ramblings were going to make it so that I killed him before he could get laid again. I clinch both my fists that are resting on the countertop, the only warning I give him to speed this the fuck up or I'm pounding his face in.
    "Okay, okay," he presses his palms low in my direction to calm me down. Effectively doing the complete opposite.
    "Edie got a text from an unknown number." My brows furrow as confusion covers my face.
    "They threatened her Memph, they told her that if they don't get what they're owed they'll take what's his," His voice drops to barely audible as he finally spits it out. Only now I'm wishing he hadn't.
    I go to jump out of my seat ready to hunt the fucker or for her phone so I can call them and do something, anything.
    Walker lunges for me and puts a heavy hand on my shoulder, "Don't Memph. Don't spook her, she and Lil have been drinking all day and spilling her guts to the both of us."
    I shake my head in bewilderment trying to understand what he's saying when all I can think about is going hunting.
    "She admitted that she always had a feeling that Ian was gonna draw her into his bullshit, whether purposefully or not. She actually made an excellent point," he brows lift as he watches me slowly settle back down into my seat before continuing, "if this person knows anything about Ian, they'll know how he's always operated. They'd never expect him to not follow his pattern. So they went to her thinking they were going right to the source. When we clear this up it'll become obvious that she's never been involved and they'll hopefully leave her be."
    Unfortunately, this was an excellent point.
    It's only an unfortunate thing because if this turns out to be correct, there will be no living with Edie, she'll live this up for as long as she can.
    I sigh rubbing my eyes until I see stars, wishing this wasn't something she had to deal with at all. Fucking Ian and his bullshit.
    "I'm gonna kill Ian," I mumble as I look up into my best friend's face seeing the understanding and camaraderie. He'd come with me and help never asking a single question.
    "Okay, so how do you want to handle this, killing Ian aside," he grins cheekily at me.
    "I honestly don't know," I admit as I think it over. What would be the best way to handle this? First thing I want to do is talk to Edie. I don't want to make a single move without her being aware and as involved as she and I are comfortable.
    If I know anything about her, and I'm catching on quick, she'll run head first into this if it means others will be protected. That means I'm gonna have to curve her involvement if she decides to not heed my advice. But that's something to deal with later.
    "I really think I should start by talking to her first, but tonight's not gonna be that night," Walk and I meet eyes and laugh as we hear the girls start up karaoke and sounding like a flock of seagulls.
    "I would have recommended that as well," Walk offers as he heads to the fridge looking over his shoulder at me with a thumb pointed toward it.
    I nod as I wait for him to hand me the beer he grabs. He pops the top and slides it down the countertop to my waiting hand.
    I take a deep swig, letting the cold crisp taste coat my tongue for a moment. Trying to find a calm I don't feel before looking down the hall, picturing Edie. Her in the penguin hat, her in the mirror, her in my truck, her in my future. Loving every single thing I see, and wanting to see more, always.
    "She means the world to me Walk," I chew the words like I don't want to say them out loud. Knowing that I mean every damn word, but not liking the idea that this little slice of easy is hard won.
    "No shit," he laughs as he thumps my shoulder, "you only stalked the fuck outta her for four years."
    "I hovered, not stalked," I grumble with a frown remembering Edie's use of the word what seems like a million years ago now.
    Walk rolls his eyes, "tomato, tomahto."
    I give him a deadpan look making him chuckle before saying, "Let's make plans A, B, and C leaving room for Edie to change things once we talk in the morning," I suggest, leaning on my forearms toward Walk.
    "Let's," he agrees.
    We stare at each other for a moment in silence before both bursting out in laughter realizing we came to the first hurdle and have already tripped.
    "Good fucking Lord," I shake my head in self derision.
    "Okay, let's try that again," Walker suggests with laughter in his voice.
    "Let's," I mimic him.
    "First off imitation is the best form of flattery," he points at me with his beer, "Second, I think we should reach out to Ian first. See what we get. Depending on that I think we should also loop Captain into this. We don't want to make moves or step on any toes that could land us up shit creek without a paddle."
    I nod, "Yeah good point. I also want to look up that car Edie mentioned yesterday that she's noticed following her. If they're who sent the text then we may have more clues to figure out who they are, with or without Ian's help," I roll my eyes at the thought of Ian suddenly being our knight in shining armor. "I don't want to expect him to suddenly do the right thing so I want to consider his input as the desert, not the main course."
    Walk materializes a notepad and starts taking notes as we throw more ideas and suggestions out there. Trying to get some good leads going so that once we talk through this with Edie we can hit the ground running.
    My phone suddenly rings, I grab it from my pocket and look to see who's calling.
    I sigh heavily when I see the name. Walk's eyes meet mine as his brows hit his hairline as I hit the accept, "If you're calling to tell me A, you've managed to fuck my house up more or B, to ask if I'm coming to family dinner I will end you."
    My sister just sighs dramatically on the other end of the line, sounding annoying like I did just before answering her call, "No Bub, well, that's not all I called to talk about."    
    I fucking knew it.
    "What did you do to my house Vienna," I growl. I really don't need more on my plate right now.
    "Nothing! I swear! I painted it that boring, drab color it was after I primed it thank you very much." Saying that last part as if she did more than I asked, which she didn't.
    "Uh huh," I droll as I drain my beer Walker sliding me a fresh one before I even sit the bottle of my finished one down.
    "I also wanted to ask about the pretty woman Ireland met at the restaurant yesterday. ReRe said she's right up your ally and we should expect her around for the foreseeable future based off what y'all looked like." How Ireland could have managed to see that, I have no idea. But she's not wrong if I have anything to say about it.
    I don't say any of this to Vienna though, knowing her she'd have looked up Edie's entire life before we pulled up for dinner ready to interrogate her.
    If she wasn't so fucking crazy, my sister would have made an amazing detective.
    "Vi, she's important but we're new so don't spook her all right?" I try to change the topic while taking the heat off me as I ask, "Did Ireland tell you who the guy was she was with for dinner? She didn't introduce us."
    I hear her gasp in outrage, cluing me in to the fact that Ireland did in fact, not tell her.
    Ireland is keeping secrets and I don't like that one bit. If she was gonna tell anyone, it would have been either me or Vienna.
    She never keeps secrets.
    I turn my head and see Edie coming my way with her furry entourage following close behind, "Vi I'll talk to you more about this later, love you."
    I hear her say it back before hanging up. I set my phone down just as Edie nuzzles her way under my arm, wrapping both of hers around my waist.
    She sighs as her body leans heavily into mine. I twist in my seat, tugging her hips into my lap. She readjusts with her arms still around my waist but now her head rests on my chest.
    Her body fits perfectly. Like she's molded to mine.
    I rub her back soothingly as I mutter, "Do you want to stay here or do you want to go to my place tonight?"
    She tilts her head back and I see bloodshot heavy lidded eyes, "I thought your sister trashed your place?"
    My lips quirk up as I respond, "She did, but according to her, that's who I was just on the phone with, she's put the place back together. Well, by her standards so I'd like to take a look and see what else I'm dealing with. If you want to?" I tack on that last part when I see her brows furrow looking doubtful.
    "Oh I would love to," she answers. Her voice having only a hint of the slur unlike before. Those pizza rolls have started working it seems.
    "Okay, then why do I also sense you want to say no?" I ask as she bites her bottom lip.
    "Well," she draws the word out as I watch her eyes slide away. I follow them and see what she's hesitant about.
    "They're all coming with us," I laugh as Sarg and Ghost shove their noses in the crooks of our arms trying to shove their whole faces into us.
    She lets out a relieved sigh before nodding more enthusiastically, "Then yeah, I'm ready whenever you are."
    By the time we were gathered up and put into our cars, we had a convoy. Walker was driving Edie's car, Lil stopped drinking alcohol two hours before I got there so she was fine to drive her car so that Walker could get back home.
    Edie rode with me and the most pathetic sounding cats I've ever heard.
    Walker had Ghost and Sarg. Who had their heads out their windows the entire time.
    We pull into to my driveway and I look over to see Edie's reaction.
    It's as I expected, eyes bugged out, jaw dropped, shocked inhale.
    I hope that all means good things.
    "Is that a pergola?" She squeals as we pull around the back into the detached two car garage.
    I grin as I nod. Walker pulls her car in beside mine since there's plenty of room, I close the garage door once he's pulled in. Seeing her car in my garage after so long of hoping this might actually, hits somewhere deep in the chest making it ache.
    I rub my chest as I unlock the doors and pull a cat carrier out of the backseat.
    Edie has grabbed the other one and is waiting for me by the side door closest to my side.
    The sounds of Ghost and Sarg sniffing the area makes me smile. The cats too are quiet now, checking everything out.
    The pergola stretches to cover the walkway to the back deck, providing cover from weather and season changes. Walker, Denver and I built it the year after I bought this place after slipping and sliding on wet leaves.
    My mom and Montana got Wisteria to grow on each end so during blooming seasons drooping purple blooms hang down providing cover from the hot sun.
    My home and garage are both white brick, I painted the shutters and doors on both black, but the deck and pergola are a dark walnut stain.
    Basic ground maintenance means less work for me so I've only got short evergreens on either side of the front doors and the front corners. I've also got a holly bush and that tall grass looking stuff that Vienna grew that's the only pain in the ass about my yard.
    Both front and back yards are densely shaded by tall, strong oak and maple trees. The back yard is fenced with a metal gate across the driveway, which I close so the dogs can't get out.
    Lil is parked on just the other side and Walker sticks a leg in the front passenger side before looking at me to shout, "Call in the morning and we'll get this ball rolling."
    I lift my chin before he slides into his seat as Lil sends big waves through the windshield. Edie and I stand there and wave back as they back out of the drive, their cars lights illuminating us and the dogs snooping through the yard.
    Edie looks up at me and asks, "What ball?"
    I shake my head as I mutter, "Let's get in the house and get settled then we'll talk."
    She nods and takes a step toward the back deck. I look down and realize she still has the heeled slippers on and shake my head as I feel the corners of my lips tilt upward.
    I get the door unlocked and turn on the kitchen light seeing that the stove clock says its almost eleven o'clock at night. Thank God tomorrow is Sunday, I think to myself as I set the cat carrier on the ground.
    I don't open it and Edie doesn't open the other one, we let them take some time to get used to the different space as the dogs come hurdling through the door when I call. I close and lock it then lean against it as I watch Edie take in the space.
    My home is my baby, I've worked, slaved, cried blood sweat and tears to get it where I have it.
    Now the most important person in my life is inspecting every inch of it and I suddenly feel like there's countless more things I should've done before bringing her here.
    Her hands slide against the white and gray granite countertops, taking in the white modern cabinets with brushed bronze accents, the stainless steel appliances, the under cabinet lighting that makes the copper backslash glitter.
     Situated in the center is a massive island with the sink and dishwasher installed in it. All white Country Linen walls as Montana and Ireland called it. I call it off white.
    There are two doorways that frame the fridge which faces us, the furthest doorway shows the mouth of the hall whereas the bigger doorway infant of us shows the majority of the living room.
    Immediately to our right is a shoes rack and closed double doors, "That's the washer and dryer," I point out to her with my thumb.
    Her head turns from trying to peek into the living room to where I'm pointing.
    She nods before asking, "Do you have an upstairs?"
    I nod as I lead her to the living room, leaning to the side to turn on a table lamp seated on a long skinny table that rests between the wall and the U shaped couch.
    Once the area is illuminated I watch her eyes get big.
    I kinda went all out for my living room.
    Warm beige walls, big chocolate couch that frames the room perfectly. Dense coffee and side tables in black cast-iron frames with white marble tops.
    The 60 inch TV is anchored to the wall above the black fireplace that doesn't work anymore. So Vienna bought a black cast-iron candle holder that seats white candles at alternating heights.
    I have a few pictures of my family and academy buddies hanging on the walls but nothing decorative.
    To our left is the hallway and to the right of that is the start of the stairs behind the front door that lead up along the wall to the master bedroom and bathroom, half bath and second bedroom.
    The hall has the other full bath, an office, linen closet and another bedroom.
    "Jesus Memphis," she breathes as she spins in place.
    I hold my breath as I watch her, waiting for more.
    "This place is beautiful. Is that the rest of your family?" She asks as she walks over to the big framed picture hung on the wall between the hall and stairs.
    I follow her as I watch Ghost and Sarg jump up onto the couch, both spinning and situating the few throw blankets and pillows until the groan as they settle.
    I stand beside her as I look at the picture.
    It was about two years after I'd graduated high school when this picture was taken.
    Mom had wanted family pictures since we were all finally old enough to listen to instructions by then.
    All of us were in white shirts and jeans or khaki's. Den and I kept giving our dad a hard time because the only pair of khaki's he had, had a massive hole in the back pocket.
    Mom didn't find out until the end of the shoot when Denver yanked on it and ripped it clear off. Effectively ending the torture that was that shoot.
    I'd never seen my moms face turn that color of red before. We'd both begged for death after the punishment we got. Still would do it again just to hear my dad laugh his ass off again.
    "Yeah, that's Den, Vi, Montana, and Ireland," point them each out before continuing, "that's my mom and my dad is there on the end."
    She nods as her eyes follow who I point to, until she points at the still gangly but getting less so by that point, twenty year old me.
    "And that's you," I can hear to laugh trying to escape.
    "Ugh, go ahead. I know you want to laugh," I look to the ceiling as I cross my arms waiting out her humor.
    "You look like a little baby!" She giggles as she leans forward to get a closer inspection.
    "Hey now! I'll have you know that I was six foot two in a half inches weighing in at a whopping one hundred and sixty pounds in that picture. I was a full grown man," I try to sound stern but the truth is, I wasn't. I was a skin bag of bones and no facial hair.
    "Mhmm," she murmurs trying to pacify me. I squint at her at the sounds but all she does is smile up at me.
    We hear a doggy groan from the couch. We look over and see Sarg resting his chin on Ghost's back leg as she leans her head back looking at us.
    We then hear the cats complaining and head their way.
    "Do you think we should put them in one of the rooms until they adjust?" I ask as I peer in to one, only able to see the glisten of Binx's eyes but the rest of him blending into the dark.
    "Yeah I think that's best. I have a portable litter box and their food so all I'd need is some water," she explains as she gently picks up garfield's carrier.
    "Come on, let's put them in the room down the hall." I take the carrier from her and pick up Binx's carrier as well, carrying both as I lead her down the hall.
    We get them situated, they crouch low as they investigate but after a minute they settle fairly easily. Edie takes her hat off and I take a blanket I'd left on the couch and leave both things for them so they can smell us.
    The dogs are snoring as I lead her up the stairs.
    Walking into my bedroom with her is something I could never explain. It's obvious I hadn't planned on anyone being in this room since I left a dresser drawer open with clothes peaking out, a towel on a door handle, and the bed lazily put together.
    She makes her way past me, taking in the space. I had gone for comfort only in here. The wood is distressed on the chest of drawers and the tall dresser. The bed is a simple California King sleigh style with light gray bedding. The walls are a neutral grayish green and I kept the bathrooms in the entire house white. Something that she and I had in common.
    "This room makes me want to climb in that bed and never leave," she breathes as she takes in the bed especially.
    "That works for me," I mumble as I carry her overnight bag to the chest and sit it on top.
    "You're missing one thing though," she announces as I hear the bed move.
    I look over my shoulder at her and stare as my body freezes.
    She's sprawled out on my bed, leg hitched up as she cuddles my pillow.
    "What's that?" I ask, my voice deeper than normal.
    "A mirror," she explains.
    "You know what, I think you're right," I rub my chin as I look around, noticing that I don't have a full body mirror in here. The only ones I have are in the bathrooms.
    She nods as she groans, rolling out of her spot until she's standing.
    "Wanna take a shower?" I ask as I wiggle my eyebrows at her.
    "Pervert," she jokes then takes off past me squealing as she dives into the bathroom.
    I go after her already tossing my shirt that I've worn for two days, at the hamper by the door but come to a screeching halt as I almost run her over.
    She's standing just through the door taking a look around.
    I have a walk in closet to our left with the door mostly closed, double sinks to our right, with almost the entire back half of bathroom the shower tub combo. The toilet is tucked behind the closet wall.
     The shower is a glass front wall with black tile and a waterfall shower head coming from the ceiling. A seat against the wall facing us and two alcoves built in, one lower about three inches off the ground which all of my sisters suggested, so that someday whoever I marry can have a foot prop to shave their legs. Didn't get why I needed to build that when I built a seat, but that's not for me to know I guess. I just did it anyway.
    The other alcove has the bottles of shower shit in it that sits at about shoulder height.
    The white, deep, square tub is also in the same space separated by the half wall that has the nobs for the shower.
    A heated towel rack is against the outer wall between the glass and the double sinks with a wooden bath mat in front of the tub.
    "I'm never leaving," Edie states as she pulls the zip of her onesie down, her eyes bouncing between the shower and the tub.
    "That's kinda the idea," I joke as I toe my shoes off and unbuckle my belt.
    "No seriously, I'm moving in to your bathroom. You will have to pry my cold dead hands off that glass door," says as she walks naked toward said door.
    I grimace at the visual saying, "If we could use a different visual I'd appreciate it."
    She looks over her shoulder with an apologetic grin saying, "Sorry."
    An idea sparks as I shuck my jeans off and toss them in the vicinity of the hamper to join my shirt growling, "I can think of a few ways you can make it up to me."
    Her eyes shoot to mine through the glass as heat flares in their warm Whiskey depths.
    "Yeah? This isn't enough?" Then she starts to move her body in a slow sway that has me hypnotized to the rhythmic movement of her hips.
    Under almost all other circumstances this would most definitely work. Instantly.
    But, I think I want to christen my shower with more than a sexy dance.
    "As tempting as that is, and as close as it gets to an apology, I think you could get closer," I tease. My voice coming out rough and scratchy as she does that bent over hair flip thing making me almost swallow my tongue.
    "Hmm," she playfully taps her chin with a finger as she looks up, pretending to contemplate what I said.
    "What'd you have in mind there Big Boy," her voice teasing as her eyes move down to where I'm making it abundantly clear I like everything she's doing.
    "I like it when you call me that," I tell her seriously as I open the glass door, feeling the warm water spray against my feet as she steps back into the full downfall.
    Watching the water run down her luscious body, darkening her hair, being a god damn wet dream. Literally.
    I forget the game we'd been playing and lunge for her.
    She squeals as I join her under the water but I don't give her time to say anything before my lips crash down on hers.
    My tongue immediately presses against her lips begging for entry.
    She moans as she opens for me and it flips a switch in my head.
    "Baby," I breathe taking gulping breaths as I move my lips to the side of her neck and behind her ear, feeling her body tremble and as I watch goosebumps rise on her skin.
    "Yeah?" She gasps as I slide a hand down her hip to behind her knee and hitching it high as my other hand threads through her hair at the back of her neck.
    "I'm gonna fuck you now. Hard," I growl against her lips.
    She's nodding before I can even finish the words.
    I drop her leg as I lead her backward until she plops down on the bench. I start to lower to my knees but choke on air as she leans forward and wraps her lips around my pounding cock.
    "Jesus fucking Christ Cupcake," I moan as my head falls back and my eyes close. I blindly thread the fingers of one hand in her hair, holding it back but not putting pressure on her head. Letting her have complete control.
    "I like it when you call me that," she mumbles around a mouthful of my cock.
    She's gonna kill me.
    Her hands slide up and down my thighs as her nails scratch teasingly. I shiver at the feeling just as she slides her lips down so far I feel the back of her throat.
    "Oh my fucking God you're trying to kill me," I snarl as the need to take over and fuck her mouth like an animal tries to take over.
    I hold back, by the skin of my teeth. I don't want to hurt her or make her feel used but god damn does she make it difficult to remember that as her tongue reaches for my taint.
    "You keep doing that and this is gonna go very, very differently than how I planned," I warn her as I gently tug on her hair to slowly slide her off.
    Her lips pop as they release the tip making my toes curl. She sends me a big smile as I lean down and shove my tongue in her mouth in a wet, sloppy kiss that has us both pawing at each other.
    I lower to my knees as I end the kiss. I grab behind her knees and tug, lifting her legs over my shoulders as I shove my face between her legs.
    Her cries are music to my ears as her fingers weave in my hair. I let her hold on for a moment before leaning back as I take her hands from my hair.
    Her head having been thrown back in pleasure surges forward, her eyes trying to focus back on me and our entertained fingers.
    I bring her hands up to my lips giving the tops of each hand a kiss before surging forward.
    She gasps as my new position makes her fold almost in half, her sweet tummy rolls in this position makes me want to come all over her. I focus back on her eyes as I snarl, "Your hands do not move from over your head until I tell you to. Understand me kitten?"
    I wait for her desperate nod before lowering back to between her legs.
    I eat her like a starved man.
    Her cries and moans mix with my groans and growls as I shove two fingers deep inside her warm wet center.
    I flick my wrist as I curl my fingers forward creating a wave movement that had her hips rolling trying to chase the pressure of my fingers as I lean down and flick the tip of my tongue side to side on her swollen clit.
    Her breathes pant and stutter until they stop altogether as she flutters and squeezes around my fingers.
    I look up to watch.
    Her eyes meet mine, her body rolling and twisting as her knees tighten around my ears. Her hands grasp the opposite wrist as she pins them where I left them.
    She bites her bottom lip as she watches me languidly swirl her clit before creating a full mouth seal and suctioning until she tilts her hips over and over screaming my name.
    I slowly pull my fingers from her as she tries to catch her breath.
I stand up and lead her to stand in front of me. She starts to turn away from me but I stop her with a hand on her hip.
    She looks back to me in confusion until she sees me take a seat on the bench.
    "Hop up here baby," I whisper as I offer her a hand to help her get on my lap.
    A sweet blush flushes her cheeks as she situates herself on my lap, her knees cradling my hips and her arms wrap around my shoulders.
    I rub her back then move my hands around to her tummy. She immediately tenses, her hands coming to mine trying to move them elsewhere.
    I resist her efforts, keeping my hands on her lower tummy and try to meet her eyes.
    She doesn't look up for a long time.
    So long that it starts to concern me. "Edie, look at me baby," I murmur lifting one hand to tuck hair behind her ear and keeping my hand on the side of her face.
    Eventually, she looks up and I see she tried to use the water to hide her teary eyes.
    "I knew he hurt you more than you let on," I grumble as I lean forward to rest my forehead to hers.
    "I'm sorry, I don't know where these came from," she hiccups as she reaches up to wipe the escaped tear from her cheek.
    "Never apologize for how you feel Edie, especially with me. You know you're feelings are valid and safe to share with me," my voice comes out deeper and rougher as I try to stress my point to her.
    She nods but I don't really believe her.
    "Talk to me, what happened?" I ask beseechingly hoping she'll share what she's comfortable with.
    "It seems weird, being nervous about sharing this with you. Then I remember that we kinda started like, two days ago," I hear the attempt at humor so I huff a soft laugh.
    "Edie," I call softly.
    She sighs heavily before thunking her forehead against my shoulder. I don't dare move, especially my hands because I want her to voice what she's feeling and this is somewhat forcing her to face whatever she's been burying.
    "Can't we just go back to what we were doing? I was enjoying that," she mumbles against my skin.
    I was enjoying that too, until she stopped enjoying it.
    My hands squeeze gently, waiting her out.
    "I—I mean it's not that big of a deal," she starts hesitantly. She sounds like she's trying to convince herself more than she's trying to convince me.
    She pauses so long again that another idea comes to mind.
    "If you don't communicate with me like you need to, I'm going to deny you orgasms for the next twenty-four hours," I announce casually.
    Her gasp in outrage would be adorable if I weren't already on my way to frustrated with her.
    "You wouldn't," she dares as she squints her eyes at me.
    "Try me," I challenge with a frown.
    Her eyes bounce to each of mine, trying to gauge how serious I am. When she realizes I'm very fucking serious, she throws her hands in the air with a frustrated groan before they fall back to her lap with a slap.
    "I, I mean I guess it just took me by surprise when you touched my tummy. It's always been a black hole in my self esteem that I ignore. Then you not only touched it but held onto it and while we're being intimate!"
    Her outraged call on the last word was cute. The actual words she's saying? Not so much.
    "Edie," I call her focus back as she looks at her twisting fingers sitting in her lap.
    She begrudgingly looks up to me again as I slowly place both hands on her abdomen. Her sudden inhale says so much.
    "This is a part of you," I start as my thumbs make circles on her skin, "but this isn't who you are."
     Her eyes water again making her bottom lip tremble. She bites it to make it stop.
    "You're body is beautiful to me, but that doesn't mean anything if you don't think it's beautiful too."
    I want her to hear me, and understand what I'm saying.
    She nods as she mutters, "Believe it or not, I do love myself and my body. But I just ignore that this," her hands cover mine, "exists."
    I think about how to approach this. I don't want to damage her further but I want to ask questions.
    "What would make you feel better about this?" I cautiously ask.
    Her lips twist to the side as she looks behind me, thinking.
    "I'm not really sure. I don't want to go on a diet and I definitely don't want to start doing sit-ups or mountain climbers," she shudders as she utters the last word.
    I grin at her knowing full well she enjoyed watching me do both today.
    "Okay, then what does that leave you with?" I ask as I settle deeper into the bench.
    God bless double water heaters.
    "I—I think maybe just accepting it?" She asks but I know she knows that so I just shrug waiting.
    "Yeah, I just need to accept it as part of what makes me, me."
    There it is.
    "My opinions absolutely should not be part of your consideration for this, but can I just tell you that I absolutely love this about you?" I phrase it as a question so that I hopefully don't trigger her to go backward.
    "You do?" She asks doubtfully.
    "Oh God absolutely," I move a hand to travel around to her back until I grasp her nape. I pull her back some until I have room to bend forward. I give the spot just above her belly button a kiss.
    I hear her sharp inhale and grin against her skin. I look up and catch her eyes already on me, watching.
    "Your body is carved like an ancient goddess Edie, you are divinely stunning," I kiss her tummy again before finishing, "every single part of you."