Hansel in Distress

Chapter Two - Strange Things

It may easily be supposed that the transformation of a dashing young man into a caged bird, as well as the subsequent abduction of said bird, would cause quite a commotion. Surely, the astonishment, confusion, and outrage of the onlookers would easily result in a general wave of raised eyebrows, loud gasps, and perhaps even spilt coffee. These are all very reasonable expectations.

The reality of the situation, however, differed considerably from these expectations, as the kaffeehaus remained rather peaceful. In fact, with the exception of our dear damsels, everyone continued to eat, drink, and chat as calmly as ever.

How very strange this all seems!

How could these creatures eat in peace when such a handsome youth - a blessing to society - had been thus snatched away?

It is a strange thing, indeed.

...

But then, strange things can sometimes be accounted for, if one takes the trouble to ascertain their cause.

The fact is, the mischievous activities of the old witch had mostly gone unnoticed. The transformation spell cast on poor Hansel was instantaneous, and oddly enough, it was neither accompanied by a flash of light, nor a puff of smoke. The process did not even emit any noise. Nor did it leave any colourful magical residue.

In short, unless you had been watching the witch (or Hansel) at that exact moment, you would probably be perfectly unaware of the evil that had occurred.

Of course, some people did notice that the waiter was missing. However, they failed to connect his absence with the old lady who departed with a bird cage. For all they knew, he may have excused himself in order to discharge the necessities of nature.

Had our dear young ladies not been intently observing the sly witch, even they, I'm afraid, would have been fooled by her tricks, despite being the heroines of this story.

"Did you all see that?" one of them asked. They had all been silent from the shock.

"I certainly did."

"As did I."

"And yet it seems that no one else did."

"Could it be the witch's sorcery?"

"Perhaps."

"I have always detested that odious woman."

"That WITCH."

"That HARPY."

And the girls sighed.

"Poor Hansel!"

"Poor Hansel!"

And they sighed again.

"Shall we save him?"

"CAN we save him?"

"I must own that it seems hardly appropriate."

"Indeed, in nearly all the tales I have read, it is not the damsels who do the saving."

"But we cannot be bound by literary conventions."

"Not when such evil has been carried out."

"Hansel has been taken away."

"He has been stolen."

"He has been snatched."

And the girls sighed once more.

"Hansel belongs to us."

"He is our rightful property."

"The onus is therefore on us to deliver him from the clutches of that hideous witch."

The girls nodded in agreement.

And so, in this manner, our young ladies made the decision to save their beloved Hansel, though they had no plan, and though it hardly seemed appropriate.