𝙻𝚊𝚖𝚜 𝙾𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝𝚜

𝐖𝐡𝐲, 𝐒𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐭 𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥?

T/W: Suicidal/homicidal thoughts and mention of An*rexia.

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Alexander laid in the snow, fully preparing for a frozen and painful death.

His heart couldn't take it anymore.

-

"Alexander, sweet angel, stay with me, you cannot bear the cold."

"I'll be quite well, dear one. I promise you."

John's big hands reached for the other's cold ones, holding it before he quickly pulled away. The blonde was slightly surprised and even a bit afraid of how much he could feel the bones in his hands. Alexander was skinny, but it was more, much more.

Alex, terrified that John might catch on. Quickly kissed his cheek and left, not bothering to even pull down his sleeves.

His stomach growled, his cut ached. He wanted it to be over.

-

John always danced with death and romanized it. At first, Alexander scolded him for it, but over time, he too grew to love her.

All the times she hugged him and tried to pull him from this terrible life. His fevers, the hurricane, the river. The arms weren't strong enough for him. Nothing ever stopped Alexander Hamilton.

But maybe she might be tighter this time.

-

One time, he was at medical waiting for John, who acted a fool during battle. As he was waiting, he witnessed a man on a cot having a seizure. It was the hottest day of August, and many men had dropped like flies from heat stroke.

The man looked so sick. Alexander, as much as he was frightened by the scene, covered his mouth and looked on. The doctor rushed over to help. The man was pale, making strange sounds like those of an injured animal. His face was twisted with pain and confusing, all the while shaking so horribly the cot moved under him.

Then, the shaking stopped. The man's mouth hung open, and he fell into her hug. The doctor, like he did with all patents, covered him up with a white cloth and bowed his head for a few short seconds before rushing off to attend to another screaming man.

Alexander felt so overwhelmed with emotion. He felt pity but also relief. That man wasn't in pain anymore. He looked peaceful. He actually burned with envy and sadness. He wanted that peace, yet he knew how selfish he was being. He felt so bad, in fact, he covered his face and began to cry.

John had returned from getting his now broken arm taken care of. Already pissed off from the fact that he wouldn't be able to fight for a while and the pain, he quickly walked over to Hamilton, who always waits for him.

He found him weeping into his hands next to the covered body. His mood instantly washed off as he hugged him with his good arm. He rubbed his back and told him it was alright and how that man was safe. Alexander wiped his tears and walked with him back to their tent, hiccuping and sniffing while John tried to console him.

Jealously is a blessing in disguise.

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