The Immortal Children

All Alone

I sat on the bed staring at the wall. My mind was on overdrive, desperately trying to process all that had happened.

Chris was practically glued to Carlsile and Esme. I realised now that Chris had been affected by losing mom so much more than I had thought. I had watched anxiously as Carlisle had retired to his room, closing the door with my brother still clinging to him.

Ashlynne was with Renesmee, Rosalie and Alice in renesmee's room. They were doing make-overs. Of course, I had been invited. But I didn't seem to be able to have fun with the things I used to. Four months ago, I would have happily done make-overs with them. Ashlynne and I used to love raiding my mom's closet, playing dress up with her 80's clothes and putting on piles of make-up. But now, after all of the time I had spent alert and protecting my siblings, to waste my time on something as childish as useless as a make over seemed ridiculous! What was the point? How did it help us at all, how did it benefit us?

With a sigh, I realised how much I too had been affected by mom's death. Seeing my mother's death, taking care of two kids, and killing other covens had matured me to an irreversable point. I looked down at my hands.The Cullens loved my brother and sister. Ash was a sweetheart. She was not only smart but sweet and polite to everyone. Chris was adorable, and he loved to have fun.

And I was... their older sister. The girl with a hardened heart. The girl who barely remebered the meaning of fun, let alone how to have it.I felt as if I would cry when i realised that if that vampire had not bitten us, I would be playing soccer right now. I would be building forts with Chris, singing karyoke with Ash. My biggest problem would be getting good grades or going over my texting limit.

I looked up sharply when there was a knock on my door. Swallowing hard, I sat up straight and once more hardened my heart. "Come in" I called. The door opened and esme stood there smiling. "Hi, honey. You doing okay?" I looked at her oddly. Usually it was me asking my siblings if they were okay, never was the question directed towards me.Realising that I needed to respond, I answered,"Yes ma'am." There, that was polite. "Please, call me Esme." she smiled. "I was hoping we could talk."

Though I said okay, I was mentally panicking. What do I do, where do I look, what do I say..."Are you okay, honey" I shrugged. She placed her hand on top of mine and I stiffened. "Honey." She paused, clearly wanting me to look at her. When she realized that I was not going to meet her eyes, she continued anyway. "Why are you in here all alone?" Another shrug.

I couldn't admit the truth. Because the truth was humiliating. The truth was I felt hurt and abandoned. After giving up everything I had to take care of and protect Chris and Ash they had just... left me. I know I sounded bratty. I know I sounded like what my mom would have once called a "Whiner". But... now I really was alone. This thought made my chest ache.

As I finally looked up at her, I know the hurt and betrayal showed in my eyes. "I'm fine" I said in a shaking voice. She looked at me with sympathy. "Are you sure?" She pushed.

I wanted to say yes. I wanted to be angry. I wanted to tell her to mind her own business. But as I looked in to her eyes, everything that I had lost came back to me.

My mom.

My friends.

My home.

My feelings of security.

My trust in people, mercy...

... and worst of all myself.

And now...My brother and sister.I collapsed her as both my non-existant tears and my pride left me.