You Wouldn't Understand [Stan and Kyle]

Chapter 5

I had no other choice than to go back home. The pain of knowing I am the reason that this happened to my best friend is eating me from the inside. Sometimes I wonder if my heart can't take any more of it, and I just won't make it out alive. I try to ignore those thoughts and return home anyway.

The smell sickens me as I enter, and I know there is no possible way I can hide how I am feeling anymore.

"Hey, Stan!" My dad calls my name, and I stop in place. I assume he's going to tell me something.

Maybe he finally realized the pain that I am going through. "...Yeah, Dad?" I question, barely able to keep myself up. I think I got about only three hours of sleep last night.

"Could you help me on the farm, Stan? It's about that time of year, and we've got a large harvest that we need to take care of this year!" The black haired man tries to reason with me.

Is he blind? Is he freaking blind? Because I kind of feel like he is right now.

I feel like screaming at the top of my lungs, but I know that will only cause more problems. Instead, I bite my tongue and try to ignore the pain that I am feeling. The emotional pain, that is... I accidentally drew blood from my tongue from biting on it so hard.

"...Sure, Dad," I run outside to the farm and try to ignore how I am feeling. The air feels more cold than usual, so much to the point where I button my coat up again. I sniffle as I harvest, trying to ignore the sickening smell. It's going to be a long day out on the farm today, and I can already tell that much.

And then something happened, something that felt like it came out of nowhere. My body felt like it fell on its own, and I collapse onto my knees before everything that I have consumed and drank the night before comes back up. I immediately recognize the taste of alcohol mixed with stomach acid, but there's something different about this one...

It's the breakfast that the redhead made for me. I thought I would be able to keep it down, but I failed him. I'm such a terrible friend to him, he deserves way better than me.

For once, I feel like I can't I can't control it. More and more vomit escapes my mouth, and it starts to push way too hard on my stomach. My eyes are crying, and it starts to burn my throat as well. I watch as it spills onto the dried up grass, and it never seems to come to an end. This is absolutely terrible, but I know I have to work...

I ignore the wretched taste in my mouth and arise from the ground, getting back to working on the farm. Just when I thought I was done vomiting, I feel an awful kind of headache come on. A migraine, possibly. It hurts. It hurts so bad. It's a throbbing pain in my head, as if my brain is shaking and bouncing off my skull back and forth.

Just like everything else, I try to ignore it, but I know I cannot possibly do that. I don't want to work myself too hard, then it'd really be impossible to ignore. I massage my temples with the tips of my fingers for a moment as I grimace, just praying that the pain will go away.

I come back inside after about three hours, to which I threw up multiple times in between... I sprayed all of it down with a hose to hide the fact that it ever happened. But I know that my mom is smart, so she might catch on before I even break. But I'll never break, because I don't want to.

If I don't want to do something, then I won't. That's something else I think often. I enter my home and take a warm bath, the warm air feeling anything but refreshing to me. Shelly recently bought an anti-stress bubble bath, and it seems to be coconut scented. It's a shimmery white, almost reminding me of a pearl.

I open the cap of the bottle and bring my nose to it. It smells just as I expected it to, like artificial coconut. It smells good, I guess...

I pour some of the bubble bath under the faucet and watch as tiny bubbles form all around my body. I lay my head against the bathtub and try to rest, doing everything in my power to not throw up again. Though sometimes, it does feel like I have to. I just try to ignore it and think about the good times. Think about the good times...