Changing To Adapt ➵ TWD

➵ ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏʀᴛʏ ꜱɪx

"I know you never expected siblings, Lucas, but promise me-"

"Stop," Lucas begs, blinking free the salty tears. He couldn't do this again.

Lori snatches his hand in hers, desperate, and forces him to make eye contact, "- please tell me you'll look after them like family, they need- they need someone like that. And Rick, please, I-"

"You don't- you don't have to ask me that."

"You always did keep your promises." She sobs through a small laugh, "And you helped me make good choices." Her voice cracks.

Lucas presses his face into her hand and shakes his head. His shoulders shudder with a silent sob, and his vision blurs with the blinding white of a hospital room. Just once, he feels her brush her fingers through his hair, sticking up at odd ends.

Lori stretches her arm out to reach Carl, and smiles, her lips wobbling. "Carl. . . Baby, I don't want you to be scared, okay? This is what I want. This is right." She carresses his face.

He nods, shakily, tears making marks through the dirt on his cheeks.

"Now you listen to Lucas, yeah. You take care of your daddy for me, alright?" She whispers, hoarsely, "And your little brother, or sister, you take care-"

Carl cuts her off. His emotions finally break through: "You don't have to do this." He sobs.

Forcing himself to look away, Lucas presses the back of his bloody palm to his lips to stave off the trembling. But the bubble in his throat makes it hard to accomplish.

They were fine a few minutes ago.

It was all supposed to be going fine.

"You're gonna be fine." Lori tries her best at a smile, adoration in her gaze shared with Carl. "You're gonna beat this world, I know you will. You are smart, and you are strong." She chokes on her words and cups his face, "And you are so brave, and I love you."

Carl barrels into her, his body shaking with sobs, "I love you."

"You're my sweet, sweet boy. I love you."

Lucas cries quietly, and reaches out for Maggie's hand, seeing her tears out the corner of his eyes. Her grip hurts, but he bathes in the pain.

Lori has to physically pull herself back from Carl's embrace, "Alright," She whispers, bracing herself. Looking at Maggie, she nods. "Alright."

Carl hands over the knife.

Breathing out, Lori whispers one more thing to the ceiling. "Goodnight, love. I'm sorry." 

It hits Lucas, the second she apologizes. Rick doesn't know. He doesn't know, and this is going to ruin him. More than anything.

"I'm sorry." Maggie sobs, the knife shaking in her grasp. 

Lucas puts his unsteady hand on hers and interlocks their fingers. It's an offer. 

Her shoulders shudder, and Maggie nods.

The blade balances precariously against skin. He inhales, shakily, and puts his weight into Maggie's guiding path.

Cutting through Lori's stomach, across the old c-section scar wasn't the hard part. Listening to her bloodcurdling screams was.

Hearing her pass out wasn't any better.

"Tell me what to do," Lucas says, removing his hand. He doesn't look up. Can't see Lori's face.

He lets himself fall into Maggie's directions, trying desperately not to think about his hands opening up Lori's belly for Maggie to dig deeper and search for the head.

Blood pools underneath them, covering their hands.

Carl is quiet.

"Okay. . . Okay, come on, I see it, I see the ears. I'm gonna pull him out. I can't tell if this is the arm or the leg. Okay, I'm gonna pull the baby out."

Lucas is glad to hear Carl, echoing her, "Okay. Okay."

The baby's head is cradled in Maggie's red hands, the body following until it slides seamlessly from the gaping cut. Lucas immediately releases Lori's stomach and stares blankly at his hands.

Carl cries when he sees the baby, still attached to the cord but not breathing. They gasp their relief when it suddenly bursts into a cry.

Shrugging off his jacket, Carl passes it to Maggie, letting her wrap it around before standing abruptly. "We have to go," Maggie says, skin ashy and pale.

Lucas tears his eyes from his hands and stands up as well, only to stare at Lori's unmoving body.

"We can't just leave her here." Carl cries out, pushing away from the floor, "She'll turn."

Maggie glances across at Lucas, staring at the gun attached to his belt. He reaches for it, but Carl protests, going for his own.

"Carl. . ." Maggie whispers.

"She's my mum." The tears run freely, but he doesn't blink.

Maggie can do nothing but nod. She turns around, slowly, and heads up the steps to the door.

It feels like his body is floating above him. Like Lucas isn't really there and this isn't happening. But then he looks at Carl, at the gun, and at Lori. 

"I'm here." He tells the boy, eyes on his raised hackles. "You're not alone."

Carl sobs, nodding at him, before kneeling next to his mother and hugging her one last time. 

He brings the gun up at the same time, and the crack of the bullet deafens them.

Lucas would rather do anything, at that moment, than walk outside to face the noise.

Doesn't want to see the look on Rick's face when he doesn't see Lori with them. But Maggie's still reeling from what she had to do, and Carl hasn't said a word since.

So Lucas pushes through the door first. Stumbles out into the open, in the line of fire.

Most of the group stands there, bar T-Dog and Carol, Rick yelling orders -

up until the baby in Maggie's arm gives a single cry.

Rick whirls around, the axe slipping from his fingers. Looks at them. At the baby. Searches desperately for Lori before landing solely on Lucas's wide, sunken eyes.

The boy parts his trembling lips, but nothing comes out. Everything he'd planned to say gets stuck in his throat.

Rick shakes his head, slowly, pacing back and forth. He comes to stand in front of Lucas, "Where- where is she?"

Swiping a bloody hand across his forehead, Lucas makes an unintelligible noise, before finally, "She. . ." His words twist into a sob, "She didn't. . ."

Rick doesn't listen, trying to step around them.

Lucas blocks him from going into the cell block, both hands shoving against his chest. "Don't. Please, don't."

Looking across at Carl, Rick shakes Lucas off. He stops by his son's side, and when he sees how hard Carl's trying to keep it together, the pieces of the puzzle click in his head. "Oh, no. No."

Carl stares at the ground, trying his best not to crack under the pressure and cry again.

But Rick?

Rick breaks down. Completely.

His knees hit the gravel, and he collapses into himself with broken sobs. He won't ever recover from this. And neither will Carl.

Lucas stumbles backward like a wound up toy losing its battery, helplessly watching Rick sob through his despair, until someone grabs him by the arm and brings him to a stop.

"Lucas." The voice grunts, and shakes him a little to catch his attention. "Hey."

It reminds him of Dennis. The minute the two of them stopped arguing and realized they were both in mourning. The second Lucas was accepted into his home. 

He closes his eyes.

Daryl's hand hovers, unsure and completely out of his depth, before he drops it against the back of Lucas's neck.