robin x finney|rinney one shots, the black phone

19

i find myself crying every night. if i don't, i can't sleep. i don't know whats wrong with me. i cry over the simplest of things—forget to feed the cat? cry.—its all im good at. things were getting better. i started to eat more, stop hurting myself. i felt confident. i felt happy. i was able to truly love again. i fell in love with someone. someone who's out of my league. someone who makes me feel better about everything. whenever he looks at me, i get all giggly, like a bunch of butterflies exploded in my stomach. this boy, saved me. he understood everything. he's relatable. he enjoys talking to me. he's funny, full of joy. i love him. if he loves me back? i'm not sure. we kiss—as friends—we cuddle, hug, hold hands, go out, sometimes kiss and make out even—as friends. who doesn't do that with their friends? its normal, right?
things were getting better. then it just went downhill. summer depression, winter and fall depression. shit, i'm depressed all year round. especially during winter. its the absolute worst. i don't know what to do. i want to die, but i don't. i want to disappear from everyone and everything, but i don't. i wanna jump off a bridge or a building—or drown in a gorgeous, dark blue ocean. but i don't.

it's my nineteenth birthday. i invited the only friends i have over. vance, bruce, billy, griffin, donna,—and him. i want to ask him out, but i can't. we're just friends. only friends. nothing more. we can never be nothing more. nothing more. nothing. more. everything's like a reoccurring nightmare. it's whatever. life is always a loop. new season, new chapter, new episodes, new characters, old characters returning.

oh they're at the door. bruce was the first one. then vance. griffin, billy, donna, gwen, and him. he's perfect, i thought to myself.
"hi!! happy birthday robin!" he greeted me, a huge smile plastered onto his face, pulling me into a hug right away. he's taller than me, his arms wrap around my waist, mine around his neck over his shoulders.

"hi finn. thank you." i said smiling to him. he smells like lemon, vanilla, and a slight smell or strawberries and flowers. ay santa maria, have mercy. he handed me a small box that was wrapped in black and red wrapping paper, topped with a white ribbon and a small tag. my favourite colours.

"for you." he says, smiling at me. my heart explodes with joy, my stomach filled with butterflies. hes the most gorgeous person i've ever seen. his voice is gorgeous, it makes me feel better.

"thanks. come in, the others are in my room." i said. the taller boy walked past me. we held eye contact till he fully passed. he makes me feel safe. his curls bounce as he walks, his sweater kinda flowing behind him. he's tall and skinny but still pretty strong. for someone who's malnourished, he's won multiple and i mean multiple arm wrestling and normal wrestling matches between me and sometimes bruce. but he becomes weak at time. he doesn't fight for himself when he gets bullied for being a "fag" even though his own bullies are fags. i saw them making out behind the school. i think it was matt and matty, or matt and buzz, or matt and moose—you get the point. it was one of them.

i close the door behind me. i open the little box before i go to my room to meet the rest of them. there laid on the white satin cushion, was 2 photos. a photo of me and finney cuddling. i was on his chest sleeping. his hand was on my head, tangled in my hair. he was looking down at me with a loving smile while his other hand held up the camera. the other photo was my face filled with red kiss marks all over my face, shoulders, and neck. all over finney's lips was red lipstick. his cheeks were blushed, smiling brightly. he was sitting in between my legs holding up a peace sign while my hand was gently placed onto his jaw line, other holding the camera. each polaroid had a date, 11-9-74 and 12-1-74.

i smiled at the photos. underneath them was a necklace with half a heart as a charm. he got us matching necklaces. there was a note tucked into the side of the box. the paper was coloured a light blue with purple inked words.

to: ro-ro :)
from: finney <3

read the cover of the note. i put the box down to unfold the paper. i began to read.

"happy birthday ro-ro!!
how about we play a game where i tell you everything i feel, robin?
robin, you have the most handsome face in the world. i love the way you act and everything you do. i love how you always do you best in everything even if your life is ungodly shitty. if i could spend every nano-second of my life supporting and being there for you i would so then i could die happy knowing you were always by my side! the fact you're even here, breathing and living brings me so much joy, im honoured to even be in the same world and block as you. i love you so much it hurts. robin cazarez arellano, im just in love with you. i've always wanted to be more than friends, ever since i saw you i just knew i would love and admire you forever. i wanna spend the rest of my life with your beautiful being, i wanna do everything with you. knowing you were my first kiss, make-out section, and my first time just makes me explode with joy. i want everything to be my first with you. i wanna know you forever and ever i never wanna leave your beautiful face. you've brought me so much happiness and joy that i dont even wanna end my life, no matter how shitty it is. i truly believe you're the love of my life. robin, i just love you.

happy birthday."

a/n: based on true events

i love u all 💕

i can only post once a week 🙁

word count: 1063
genre: fluff