Love/Hate (Lemon GarouxReader 🍋)

Sincere

The week continues much the same. With no news. Absolutely none. Part of you has a mind to run to the dojo again, see if Bang is there, ask if he has been in any sort of contact with Garou, feeling desperate for information, any scrap of news.
No news is good news they say, but that feels far from the truth right now. The silence is deafening. Overwhelming.
Almost unbearable.
Is he even in this city? You think back to how alive, hungry he looked when you'd all stepped off the train in City A.
Has he moved on to a bigger, brighter stage? If you made your way downtown, would you find him? Where would you even look? Where would you start?
You told yourself to stop thinking about it, to move on, but you're pulled back again and again by this invisible red thread running from you to him, from your heart to...his?
No, you couldn't possibly say that. His actions have made that clear.
But what if you were to grab that more and more seemingly fragile thread, grab it and guide your hands along it, follow it until it brought you to... To what? Outright rejection? A man you don't recognise? Then what?
Your mind, no matter how exhausted you are, no matter how much you plead with it, keeps going around and around in these vicious circles, spurned on by love, then anger, then love, then despair, then love, then who knows what as your emotions become one tangled fucking mess.
You sit at your desk, looking out into the dull October evening and take a deep breath.
Enough.
You pick up your phone and bring up Tsukiko's number. Usually you'd video call but you don't want her to see your face right now. You probably look awful and you don't want to concern her any more than she already is. And anyway, this is supposed to be a good surprise.
You hear her familiar, bright voice after two rings.
"Hello!" She greets you, always a little too enthusiastically these last few days, as if trying to make up for the blackness Garou has brought into your life, or that's how she sees it anyway.
"Hey!" You try to match her though you both know you're lying through your teeth. "What's up? Are you busy?"
"No, no! Just finishing off my research paper," she says as you can hear the soft click clack of her typing.
"I can call back later," you say apologetically.
"No! I'm literally writing the last sentence. Did I also mention you saved my life with all that research you helped me with?" She says as the typing ceases.
"Several times," you suddenly grin.
"I owe you one," she sighs and you can practically see her stretching back in her chair.
"Ok then," you pick up on the lightness of her mood. "How about you meet me tomorrow before school and buy me one of those spiced pumpkin things that everyone's talking about."
"Those spiced pumpkin lattes? Have you never had one?" She almost jumps up. "Are you serious?!"
"Yeah, I keep seeing everyone post photos but never got around to trying one myself," you confess, feeling out of the loop.
"Ok!" Tsukiko's eyes glimmer. This is the most upbeat you've sounded since that good-for-nothing, son of a- "It's a date!"
"Excellent," you say, pleased with your spur of the moment plan for Friday morning as you eye the cardboard folder in the corner of your room, softly thick with all the sheets of paper you've managed to stuff into it.
Suddenly, you want to ask if Bad has heard anything, if there's been any developments. If anyone would know, he definitely would. But you don't want to ruin the warm cheer, seeming so delicate, like a house of cards.
You say nothing, but to your surprise, Tsukiko picks up on your hesitancy.
She chooses her words carefully, her casual tone practiced and measured.
"So, is there anything..."
"No," you reply a little too quick. "Nope. Not a word. It doesn't matter," your bald-faced lie again.
"Ok," she says gently, not wanting to make an uncomfortable situation worse, not prod at your wounds. She changes tack, suddenly remembering something. "Oh! I was going to ask you..."
"Yes?" You're suddenly curious by her quick change to the conversation. This sounds miles away from what you've just been discussing.
"Ok, it's a bit random so bear with me," she says and you can hear her pick up the phone off her desk and flop onto her bed. "So, it's Zenko's birthday on Saturday-"
"Aw! Cute!" You can't help but interject. You've only met her a couple of times but she seemed like such a sweet kid.
"Yeah! So, Bad told me it's her birthday on Saturday. He was fretting because he didn't know what to get her. I told him I thought she'd be super happy with whatever he got her since it's from him but he wouldn't have it, kept going on about getting the perfect present. Anyway," she steers herself away from their couple life, " I asked when her party was and he told me she didn't want one. And I thought that was really weird, right? I mean, what kid doesn't want to have a birthday party?" Her perfectly shaped brows furrow at the thought.
You think of Ryo and how he starts his birthday countdown two months in advance, talking about nothing but the party he would like to have, the way his eyes light up when he's surrounded by friends, playing games, exercising his imagination to the fullest. Of course he loves the presents too, and tears into them without a care for the pretty paper someone took the time to wrap his gift in, but having fun, playing, getting along, making sure everyone's included...that's what he lives for, bless his little heart.
"Hmmm," you make a noise of light concern.
"Right?!" Tsukiko agrees. "I tried to get him to talk more about it but I don't know. I think even he doesn't quite understand the situation. To be honest, I think she's lonely," she says, her voice losing its intensity, slowing down, taking on a wistful note. "She very rarely talks about school or the kids in her class. I mean, she doesn't seem sad. It's more like... I don't think she's being bullied. I went with Bad a couple of times to pick her up after school and all the kids seemed very nice, saying bye and stuff but I think she's worried they're only nice because of Bad."
"Have you told him that?" You ask.
"No," she says. "I don't think he'd handle it well. He'll just blame himself, think he's done something wrong. I know he comes across as a bit...abrasive, but he's such a teddy bear on the inside, I swear. If he thought he was making Zenko's life harder it would crush him."
You listen to her words, and can't help thinking of Garou. You wouldn't necessarily call him a teddy bear, but the way he builds Legos with Ryo, the way he plays around with him and Tareo at the dojo, the way his eyes light up just a little bit-
Wait.
Built. Played. Lit up.
You feel like you should get used to thinking about him in the past tense.
"Anyway," Tsukiko continues. "I can't stand by and let Zenko do nothing for her birthday. I'm sorry but I just can't!" She's suddenly adamant and you can't help laughing.
"You don't have to apologise to me," your pretty laugh is contagious and you hear her laughing too on the other end.
"So I was thinking, can you bring Ryo, and Tareo if he can come, and we'll all go to the big park in town? Just spend a nice afternoon together. Just so she can have at least some company? Nothing fancy! They can just feed the ducks and stuff and run around and play and then maybe we can go to a cafe and get cake? You know?" She waits nervously for your response, as if you might actually say no to that.
"Of course! That sounds like a really nice idea," you can't help but smile, Tsukiko's sincere sisterly concern warming your heart and you're glad to be able to focus your affection somewhere else, because the place where Garou used to be is now empty and cold. "Ryo would love that, and I'll get him to ask Tareo tomorrow too but I'm sure it will be fine. His parents are pretty easygoing and if they know Bad will be there I'm sure it will be no problem."
The other great thing about this plan is that you have an excuse to not go to the dojo come Saturday. You can have another week, a small saving grace, to plan on how to deal with breaking Garou's disappearance to his little eager pupils.
"Yes! Of course! He'll definitely be there," she's quick to reassure you before frowning a little. "To be honest, he kinda isn't thaaat keen on the idea, you know, like he was saying the other day that we should be careful and such...?"
"Yeah...?" You replay only the relevant parts of that conversation, trying to blank out everything that pertained to Garou.
"Yeah, so anyway, he was all like 'I dunno, the HA's been all weird lately' etc but to be honest, like where would be safer than with him, right? Like if something were actually to happen, where would be safer than with an S Class hero by your side?" She says. "But if you're not keen on the idea, it's totally fine! No pressure at all," she rushes to reassure you.
She has a point, you think as you ponder it over. It's like how safe you feel- felt with Garou around. You almost took it for granted that he'd always be there. Tsukiko must feel the same with Bad and you completely understand.
"No, no!" You say. "I think you're right. I have no idea what's going on anymore but if something went down, I know I'd rather have a hero like Bad close by. And anyway, it will only be two or three hours."
"Yeah! Totally!" Tsukiko agrees. "Just a walk in the park and some cake. I just don't want Zenko to feel alone on her birthday." And you can almost hear Tsukiko's lip quivering.
"Sounds good," you smile, forgetting Tsukiko can't see you. "I'll pick up a gift tomorrow after school."
"You don't have to! Seriously!" Tsukiko says.
"But I want to!" You reply. "I've only ever picked out gifts for Ryo so I'm not wasting this opportunity to buy something really cute!" You say.
It's not like you don't love picking out gifts for Ryo but Zenko is really always so cute with her frilly dresses and little laced cardigans you'd be lying if you said you weren't excited to pick out something pretty and delicate for a change.
"Ok, ok! Fair enough!" Tsukiko giggles.
"Well, I gotta go. I'm going to have dinner with my family," you say, a little sorry to be leaving.
"No, no! Totally! I'll see you tomorrow morning! With the spiced pumpkin latte!" She adds, almost with a wink, not so secretly glad that at least you won't be spending the evening alone because she was almost about to invite you to dinner herself.
"Yeah, see you then!" You reply brightly.
"Love you," she says, genuine affection.
"Love you too," you say, feeling the warmth coming back into your heart, hot and quick, feeling more than lucky, more than grateful, for the people that are still in your life.