Not good enough.

chapter 6

Jacobs POV -
She was a stranger at first.
Someone who's just like me and needs a little help and support.

She was the girl who had my secret space. She was the cutest, funniest, weirdest, craziest, loveliest stranger.

But now she is way more.
And everything that has happened and everything that we have learnt. I know there is way more to come.

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Holly's POV

Jacob was taking me into town today. He said we needed a new start.
"Come on holly! Let's go" Jacob said pulling me down stairs.

We walk off together talking nonstop.
"So what should we do?" I ask him looking around the place we're in.
"Whatever you want" he smiles at me and walks over to some small backstreet road.
"You should never plan an adventure." He says with a hint of laughter in his voice. I follow him as we walk round random places.
We talked about everything. Music, people, food, animals, holidays, views on stuff, love, anything and everything we could think off. "So wha-- ARGH" I suddenly trip over as I was asking him a question. I nearly fall flat on my face but he suddenly pulls me up and grabs my hand. He squeezes it, smiles at me and then laughs. I start to laugh with him as we carry on walking hand in hand down the path.
"Sorry about that, I'm an idiot" I say laughing at myself.
"Aw its okay, are you alright?" He asks me. Wow someone who actually cares. I've never felt this way before. I don't understand how I can feel this close with him when I hardly know him. Everything is so crazy. I say yes and we carry on with our 'adventure'.

We go into loads of shops. I see so many nice things but I don't have a penny to buy them. I also wouldn't look nice in any of them. Too ugly, too fat, not good enough.
"Holly come try this on" Jacob says seeing that I've been looking at this dress for a while. It's black but has glitter in it. It is tight and goes down to my knees but it also has long sleeves. It's beautiful.
I shake my head at Jacob. I can't fit into it, I would ruin it.
He looks at me like a lost puppy. He pushes me towards the dressing room and hands me the dress.
" I know you love the dress. You would look amazing in it. " he says giving me a little hope.
I start to change into it but catch a sight of myself. I was so fat and then I saw my arms and legs. My scars. My eyes filled with tears as I just sat inside the changing room.
"Holly..?" I hear Jacob say outside the room.
"I'm fine" I say as I wipe away my tears. I put the dress on and then walk outside without looking at it first.
"See I look terrible." I say to Jacob and look up at him. He's staring at me weirdly..
"Umm jacob? Hello?" I say waving my hand in front of him.
"Wow." He says. Wow? What! I don't look wow?
"Holly. Have you seen yourself!? Wow. Holy shit. Or should I say holly shit" he smirks at me.
"I don't know what you're talking about jacob. I'll just go get changed. And no don't get cocky with me " I say. He suddenly turns me around and faces me to the mirror.
I look up at myself and then my mouth fell open. Who is that in the mirror? I go closer to get a better look. That doesn't look like me at all.. I actually look pretty..
"Wow" I say touching the mirror and myself to see if its real. I go change and I was about to hand it back because I can't afford it.
"Woah woah holly what are you doing!? You looked amazing" Jacob says to me.
"I can't afford it Jacob.. " I say sadly.
He grabs it and goes towards the cashier. He pays for it and then we leave.
"Wow thank you so much" I say smiling.
"You deserve it holly" he says smiling back at me. For once I'm actually happy. And I hope Jacob is too.

It starts getting late and darker. Its nearly 8 and me and Jacob started walking back to his house.
Earlier that day he had given me his jumper. It smelt amazing and was so warm and comfty. I noticed he looked pretty cold.
"Do you want your jumper back? " I ask
"No its fine lovely, you keep it" he says smiling. "Okay I know you're cold but if you don't want your jumper then I'll just have to hug you to keep you warm" I say as i stopped and then cuddled myself into him. He doesn't hug me back though. "Why aren't you hugging me back!?" I say as a joke. "Do you not like hugs" I playfully say. He shakes his head and embraces me into a warm amazing hug. Wow this feels so good. " I do like hugs. But I also like this " he says as he suddenly kisses me. Wow.
"I like that too" I say afterwards as I smile up at him. Maybe this could be the start of something good.
We get back to his house and decide to watch a movie on the sofa. "Today was amazing" I say as I drift off to sleep.

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I wake up suddenly with sweat around my face. Another nightmare. I try to get up but I'm inravelled into something. I suddenly realise its Jacob. His warm warms are wrapped around my body. Our legs twisted around each others. He was breathing slowly with his mouth partly open. I try and pull myself away but end up making him pull me in closer. My head is now pressed against his chest and I can hear his heart beat. I look at his arms and see faint scars. We are both so broken. But maybe we can fix each other...

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Jacob's pov-

I wake up and slowly take holly off me. She's so beautiful I wish she saw herself the way I saw her. I walk into the kitchen and make breakfast.
"Mmm that smells good" I hear holly say behind me. I turn around and smile at her. Her hair is mess and she has bags under her eyes. Her top is all scruffy but she looks perfect. I'm falling hard for her and I don't know what to do.
As we eat breakfast, we talk about a lot of things. I decided that holly needs to still go to school. Then she said if I should join she'll go.