✧ achilles come down ✧ dead poets society ✧

✧ prologue ✧

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achilles, achilles, achilles, come down, 

won't you get up off the roof?

you're scaring us and all of us, some of us love you, 

achilles, it's not much but there's proof, 

you crazy-assed cosmonaut,

 remember your virtue,

redemption lies plainly in truth, 

just humour us, achilles, achilles, come down,

won't you get up off, get up off the roof?

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it was always something he struggled with, really. ever since he was a small boy and had to stand in front of the class to do a presentation on some irrelevant white man who did something to someone and made history. glorified history for that matter, because most white old men never did anything good with their lives. except, of course, learning to lie, cheat, blackmail and steal their way into the books. they made people believe they were saints, and over time that's what they slowly became.

maybe that was one of the reasons why he had felt so uncomfortable standing before everyone. maybe that was why his small, shaking hands were gripping the presentation notes so hard he was causing them to crumple under the pressure. maybe that was why his skin turned pale and he began to tear up, afraid of opening his mouth to speak. and maybe that was why when his teacher called out his name the little boy ran from the room so quickly he almost slammed into the door.

that night he had heard his parents talking in hushed whispers. the stairwell was close enough to the kitchen for their conversation to be audible.

"he ran out of the class without speaking a word. what happened to him? he used to be so lively. he used to speak to the neighbours and come home excited about projects-"

"that was before he realized what the anderson name meant. he's got a reputation to uphold now and he's too fucking scared to do it."

he had ran back to his room with tears clouding his vision. the little boy knew his parents were right. he knew that he had to do better - no, be better. he had to follow in his brothers footsteps and prove the family's worth. and so that night seven year old todd anderson made a promise to himself and to god.

he kneeled at the foot of his bed, hands resting on the mattress in a praying position. he promised he'd go to school the next day and present the project and he promised he'd never fuck up again. he was adamant, and it was the first time he ever felt genuinely angry with himself. however that promise couldn't be upheld and soon todd felt the disappointment of himself, his family, and what he believed to be god, all at the young age of seven.

the age of eight and a half was the last time his parents tried their hardest to get him back on track. they sat him down at the dining room table and talked about his future. they talked about how being charismatic would help gain long lasting relationships and career opportunities, but all todd could do was nod as a sinking feeling slowly fell through his chest. he knew he couldn't do what his parents wished, but he didn't say a word. after that his parents turned to more passive aggressive pursuits.

looking back on it todd was able to come to the conclusion that his parents constant comments made his problem worse. that every time he heard a "just try to say something to someone" or a "do the damn project, boy, you need the marks" he either felt extreme guilt, anger, or embarrassment. it most definitely affected who he was as a person, quickly turning him into the shy, soft spoken, rarely heard young man many had come to know.

his parents didn't want that though. not after years and years of dealing with their son's way of life. they only sent him to welton academy because they felt the teachers could change him to be more like his brother. todd knew his parents' hopes and so from the moment he arrived he already had a complete gut feeling of failure. the schools welcome ceremony only made it worse, not to mention how his parents awkwardly paraded him around afterwards to the other adults, mentioning how he was their second child and the brother of a famed student.

the only relief he felt was when he arrived at his room, but even then, it wasn't a full feeling. just because he'd be leaving his parents' side didn't mean their disapproval wouldn't follow him around.

honestly, the only thing that made that first day okay was meeting his roommate - some guy named neil perry. truthfully, todd thought the guy had the prettiest smile, but the moment that thought popped in his mind it was shut down and pushed away.

that was probably one of the reasons why he chose to stay so closed off. he didn't accept the invitation to the study group, he didn't share many words with the new man -even if he was a person of few words on a daily basis- and he tried to avoid eye contact as much as possible.

who knew though, that the person todd tried to somewhat avoid would so quickly become someone he couldn't dream of living without.

or rather, someone he knew he couldn't.

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okay so bam. there's the prologue. it's pretty slay, I know. anyways I'm really hoping to actually have motivation to work on this fic, since I love the fandom so much. I don't wanna drop it after like three chapters, so I'm gonna really try hard lmfao. in terms of an au, I'm pretty sure this is the normal one. it's not like modern or anything, however I'm taking liberties with the story (like all the scenes I include from when he was younger/when he's with his parents are allmade up lemme tell ya what) and I am not gonna follow the exact time line or scenes of the movie. it's better for my creativity that way. thanks for reading, feel free to leave comments (they're very much appreciated) <3  

all right reserved to gangs of youth for the song achilles come down