Chapter Forty Three

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43. A New Beginning

'Like the sky, my beloved is everywhere
but next to me.'
-rupi kaur

'-rupi kaur

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Zeppelin felt as though a hole had been ripped through her chest. The air was almost unbreathable, suffocating her as she paced with shaking legs, most of her group still back in their place in line. She barely managed to give them a second glance.

  Grief gnawed at her heart, nibbled at her intestines. She stared at the tire tracks in the dirt, the only proof the Saviors had even been there, apart from the bloody bodies on the ground.

  She always knew there would be a day when Daryl Dixon no longer existed in this world. It was a small, ugly thought in the back of her head, hiding it's sickly scales in the pit of her brain and sinking it's razor sharp claws into her at every drop. When she allowed herself to actually ponder on the moment it would happen, she had always imagined he would go down fighting, in a swarm of walkers or a burning building; in whatever horrible way it would always be to save his family.

  Now he was gone, and it was nothing like her nightmares. He was taken from her, taken from his family. Beaten and forced into the dark.

  Her thoughts were buzzing with too many what if's, too many memories, too many regrets. She pushed them all away, focusing on the direction of the tire tracks in front of her. So much so that she didn't hear Rick come up behind her, jumping out of her skin when she felt his hand on her shoulder.

  His face was swollen and puffy, and his eyes were bloodshot and lifeless, the tears staining his cheeks matching her own. "We're..." he paused, his broken voice rumbling like gravel. "We're gonna take 'em to Hilltop. Bury 'em there..." He pinched the bridge of his nose and looked down at his dusty boots, inhaling a sharp sniff through his nostrils.

  "I'm sorry." The words barely above a whisper.

She felt herself moving, but no longer held any control of her own body. She felt herself shake her head, her fingers clenched tight until the knuckles were the color of bone. She felt her right foot take one step backward, her left twisting until she faced away from him, faced towards the road out of the clearing. They hesitated there for a moment, her scuffed and torn hiking boots in the packed dirt.

  The wind whispered through the curls dusting her arms and the sunlight finally appeared, turning the dust in the air to glistening diamonds. She felt her feet move one in front of the other, slow and unsure at first like a baby deer taking it's first steps. Then they were faster and faster until she was jogging, running, sprinting. She was faintly aware of the sound of Rick's boots behind her, the buzz in her ear of him calling her name but she wouldn't stop, she couldn't.

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