NUESTRO DIARIO TID(Trastorno de Identidad Disociativo)

13/05/2022

Hoy hemos hecho recados. Al principio todo ha ido normal. Súper contenta, motivándome y sola. Pero luego he tenido un pequeño cambio de planes que me ha hecho en parte darme cuenta de que me estaba agotando. La administración no está hecha para gente con discapacidad o diversidad funcional. Gente muy estresada, pidiéndote cosas rápido y esperando que tú tengas también la velocidad de flash para responder e irte.

Lo bueno es que Pareja nos ha llevado a desayunar a un bar súper guay.

Sin darme cuenta he empezado a coger las cosas con la izquierda, y en un momento dado, bebiendo con la mano izquierda mi zumito de naranja he recordado lo que CAROL nos dijo ayer. No recuerdo exactamente las palabras pero fue un...y si Damián es zurdo... ¿qué más da? Piensa que sois personas con capacidades diferentes. Está claro que tengo que permitirme sentir, ser, pensar de forma disfuncional para ver cómo soy. Permitirme ser yo y elles.

También hemos pensado en la opción de demostrar nuestras dotes artísticas a través de fotografía. No es sólo saber que "dibujamos" diferente, sino que también escribimos diferente.

We remember so many times my/our teacher of english but it's better for them not being my friend. She don't deserve stay near of us, but yes, she is a model (for us) because is my near openly lesbian person that i met.

I Will so fucking rude because dad always said to us "saca pecho, vista al frente y mala ostia" but we are so weak, so sorry dad... so sorry because we cant be one, we can be a perfect son/daughter.

I wanna cry, i wanna be so fucking rude, I DESERVE BEING LOVE. 

We don't know how to explain about us without a destinatary. We always cross the line. We always make the people go away of myself. I feel so ad but well its a emotional boy. Maybe "bitch come and go but you know i stay" but how stay when im go and come. If i feel like the bitch do you stay at my lado. Its hard being consistente when i dont know what day is today but i trying bitch, i Will do it Damm it. I'm so fucking rude but this dont make it being better. I feel so hot, and i dont feel better. Why we are a fucking mess????

We can blame another person, she left us alone in my worst days but we are how feel the responsability. It's my job, it's my work, it's my deber stay stable...., my honor it's taken for this but Damm it i wannna be a normal teenager.

My dad is gone, for ever. She left well, okey, was her decisión but not my dad. He want...went stay with us fo rever and we had a little time for start to love him. He loves me hut he didn't know me, and i don't know about him nothing, im crying and i wanna screaming a lot but we are a rude person, we can cry but we dont deserve feel anything.

And a Little whisper said me you deserve being love, stop fight for conseguirlo like a fighter, you are a writter, not a military. I must stay away of people... i must be alone. Partner is my own ancla that makes us stay in this land.

Partner give us a new comic. It's Loveless. I always feel like ritsuka, a kid searching an adult how loves him. And I feel like i'm a figther and a caster. Because i Will have the pain, the sadomasoquismo, the "you deserve the pain because you are a Loveless" when i have being the Beloved, maybe too much beloved...

We are alive for our Partner. For my couple, our couple. My life is her life. Because she and my mum aand doggie are my life now. I must be, We must be somebody for them. We need to study for them. We need to have a Job for them. We are stronger when we thought in them.

Why we need right now only you read this? I don't know. Why only want 2 person read my text and both are teachers of my body? I love the distance and the frivolity of the relathionship and i love the cercany of feel somebody else.